Not Eating And Gaining...

[jessfharris 70]

Thanks

[Izuri 428]

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, I know that you posted the other day that you guys were having troubles and it really seems like he's solidified himself as a jerk. But you are eventually gonna move on and when you do you're gonna be healthier and happier. At least you are learning his true colors now while your'e young, rather than even more years down the road.

From what I've read it does sound like stress can be related to weight gain, just hormone wise: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=53304

Your body is probably also in freaking out starvation mode. Not eating makes your body wanna retain everything. Even though you don't wanna you really need to make sure you're keeping up on your intake.

I have had such a crazy hormone ride since this surgery. I had my period twice the first month and spotting at least a day both of weeks I didn't have my period. So what you're having is normal, and should stop eventually. I'm sure it's not helping much with the mood either. Do you have close family members/friends that can help support you in his absence?

((((HUGS)))))

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

The one thing I have read on here is you must try to get to your calorie goal. That could hold you back or stall you. You know what and I have always said this, "You can change being fat, ugly you can't change." Did your husband have issues with you having the surgery that you know of?

Yep, fat you can change, but ugly character and morals will follow you forever! Hang in there -- I've been through it too.

[Delta..Make it Happen 29]

Men do cheat. It has happened to me. Just keep moving forward. I'm sorry that it happened to you but it will make you stronger. You must get your calories in because if you dont your body will hold on to the weight .

My nut said that if you are not eating enough calories you will not lose weight because your body will hold on to the fat.

Good Luck. Keep your head up. And Stay focus on what you need to do in order to accomplish your weight goals.

[cantwaittolose 163]

It will get better I promise! I put on a TON of weight because of your exact situation and I let it get the better of me. You now have this amazing tool to use and not gain weight but lose it. Although you really need to take care of yourself and get in the nutritional stuff your body needs. I have lost more weight by eating more (good stuff) but needed to add carbs and fat in order for my body to let go. I was in total starvation mode and stalled for 6 days. As soon as I added more "stuff" in my foods, I've been dropping 1lb/day again.

Therapy is a great idea at this time, a third person that can look at the situation from the outside is the BEST advice I can give. After going through a similar situation, I can guarantee you, you will come out stronger, better, more self esteem and look back and realize he was no good and no good for you Work on yourself, do not give him another minute of your tears, thoughts, etc. If he were worth it, he would have never done what he did. Actions speak louder than words You are worth it!!!!! Stay strong.

[LadyJ_OES 10]

This is a time in your life where you're going thru big changes. Some good and some bad. He cheated...he doesn't deserve you or your tears. I had a cheating and abusive husband but he wouldn't leave. So one day I got fed up and fought back and that gave him the shock of his life. Not saying for you to get physical but fight back by drying your tears and knowing that you made a great decision to change your life and don't let him steal your joy. Forgive him so you can move on and prepare yourself to be happy for you and then when you're ready...the one who was meant for you. Now on the other hand...until you get your appetite back make sure you take in at least 2-3 Protein Shakes per day.

[jessfharris 70]

Ok im in a stall ... Crazy thing is I'm not eating... I gained 2lbs and now the scale won't move... I'm still spotting and my period should b here in a week n half...I'm stressing alot and can't get him off my head... I hate that I love him even after all his actions.

[Darkkyss 33]

Jessharris, OMG me too, I am up 2lbs and should be starting in a week... Been kind of bummed the last couple days!

[Darkkyss 33]

Jess, sorry I did not read the starting post, only your last post! Keep your chin up!

[chilihot59 156]

I can't imagine what you're going through right now! Being recently sleeved is difficult enough without another curve ball being thrown into the mix. So, now I'm going into mother mode. First, I'm sending you a great big hug!!! Your husband has to work his own demons out. But, as for you, "It's time to do you!!!". Follow the program your surgeon and NUT gave you. Go for walks, engage in whatever hobbies/activities brought you comfort. No, food is not in the equation. Just know you are special, beautiful, and a jewel and a precious one at that. Start loving and pampering you!!! People can only do what we allow them to do to us. You've got a whole support system here. It's rough, I know. You will get through it! So, we'll be expecting some pictures in the coming weeks/months on the emerging hottie that is within! Ok? Keep you're head up! One last hug:)

[Velena 122]

I'm so sorry that your going through this! Please, if your insurance covers it or if you can afford it, see a therapist to help you work through your depression and issues. They can really help you to work things out. There is NO stigma with needing extra help at a time like this! You don't have to try to do this alone. The right therapist will give you tools to work through your depression just like the surgeon gave you the sleeve as a tool to lose weight. Please consider it, you're in a very fragile state physiclly and emotionally right now.

[Cookeeeeez 269]

I think you should go to the local pound and adopt a cat! This will sound weird because I don't advocate just buying pets if you're going to dump them later, but in your situation you need someone to live for! Someone you can trust! If you know you have to get up to change litter boxes, buy food, top up Water, and need someone to hug every night in bed a cat is your best friend.

This man you may love. But is that because you don't love yourself? When you have someone else to focus on you can push your own problems aside... Now he's not there you don't know what to do!

But let me tell you now- EAT! You must eat or you will die. You must look after yourself! You absolutely must! You want to be in a coffin with him and his fugly f-buddy smiling down? NO!!! You're too good for that!

Pull your finger out and eat some food! I know, I've been there and you need someone to make you accountable! Purée will NOT make you fat and if you continue down this terrible self-destructive path you will waste away!

You may work things out with him later, or not, but you can't do either if you're 6-ft under ground!

[kwindham 57]

As a sleever, and a woman that caught her husband (since divorced) in bed with another woman, I totally feel your pain. It is emotionally devastating for that to happen at any time, much less post op. What I want you to know is this, when i finally picked myself up and dusted off my rear end and living life for me, my life started falling back into place. I still loved my ex too, but finally realized I deserved better. You deserve better too, cheating is a pansy's way out. Also, you must eat to keep your stregnth and maintain losing. HUGS!