I haven't seen any threads that talk about this. I think for the most part it is case by case and depends on the couple but ladies and gentlemen..now that you have lost so much weight and look so much better..have things improved with your hubby? Or is he/she just become too jelous?

What a great topic. When I had my crap-band put in in 2009 it didn't change our relationship much. We did end up divorcing but it had nothing to do with the band. I didn't lose much weight though so that could be why too. I am interested to see what people have to say about this.

Our relationship has always been great, but we are having sex more often and I love it. Sorry if TMI.

That is great. I hope that happens for me and the BF too.

This maybe waaaayyyy TMI but, my husband has told me he has plans for me after the surgery (he, he, he). He asked me if I was still as limber as I was in my days of gymnastics LOL On a more serious note, in the past before my orthopedic issues were such a problem, I have lost weight from diets and exercise and hubby was thrilled! Not just because I felt better about myself but because I was healthier. In his words, "I want you in this life and in the after-life so if getting surgery can make you healthier and hotter than I am behind you 200%". While I think some of our significant others would get a little annoyed at some extra attention, I believe that if the person really cares about you, the results of the surgery will only enhance things. Please keep us posted,

Hello ladies...I've been having a little problem with my wife, she has been getting jealous of all the attention I have been receiving lately...has anyone faced anything like that...One more major thing she has gotten a little depressed, she thinks that everyone will see how big she has gotten since she won't be able to hide behind me...does that make sense...I feel great the way I am starting to look but when I look in the mirror she gets upset And calls me conceded...have y'all been thru anything like this

Hello ladies...I've been having a little problem with my wife' date=' she has been getting jealous of all the attention I have been receiving lately...has anyone faced anything like that...One more major thing she has gotten a little depressed, she thinks that everyone will see how big she has gotten since she won't be able to hide behind me...does that make sense...I feel great the way I am starting to look but when I look in the mirror she gets upset And calls me conceded...have y'all been thru anything like this[/quote']

Maybe you can incorporate her into an exercise regiment with you. Even if it's something simple like walking. My husband started with me on my walks and we got up to 2 miles, and he also eats less because I eat less, he's in no way obese (overweight though) and just from walking and eating less he lost 23 ibs in two months. So try to do things together. Good luck and congrats on the weight loss.

Ps. Be 'concieted' and look in the mirror and smile often. You deserve it!

My fiance and I hit a rocky patch before the surgery. Granted, our relationship is an odd one. We are 5 hours away and see each other every few months. In the past when he got uber fit, a coworker started going after him and actually sent him nudie pics, he was honest and told me right away (She got an earful, faceful and fired). Now that I will be the "more attractive one" he is afraid the same type of thing will happen with me. We were fighting non-stop about everything and he finally fessed up to how he has been feeling.

Once that was out in the open, we were able to move on. I think I will just have to keep reassuring him and letting him know that I only love him. I told him though, that he will have to put in equal work to make me feel just as loved as when we lived together.

So I think, it really depends on your relationship. I had a friend who split with her bf after she lost weight and became confident, but he had been abusive for a while before that. It can strengthen a strong relationship or break a weak one.

I am only a week out, but seeing how supportive my husband is, just makes me love him so much more. So as far as being insecure he is not there and I make sure to express my love and appreciation on a regular basis. So I hope he will not get those feelings.

Sorry to hear that Big Man. I agree with Neese. Try to include your wife with healthy eating and exercise. My husband has lost 16 lbs without trying. He's eating better since I'm cooking healthier food. I'm discovered the cook has the power!!! ha, ha.

Try to be sensitive to her feelings but enjoy your success.

great subject!

My hubby said he loves me no matter what size i am. We have a great relationship, and have had for 25 years.....but, now that I've lost all the excess weight., he can't keep his hands off me...hehehehe. He loves it when people tell him how great i look, he tell's me that he's so proud of me for acheiving my goal. No issues here!

He's never had a weight problem.........

I don't know how to answer this one. I've dropped about 100 lbs, but things are not great physically between hubby and I. He is heavily over weight, he wants surgery too, but wants to wait until he settles into his job a bit ( just got out of school and got his first job). but I think he feels so bad about himself and maybe feels like he'll break me???? I don't know : (

Mentally, we are great. We are both very affectionate, just not in bed : (

Man do I miss that : (

I've tried getting him to come to the gym with me, but a no go there......

My husband and I spoke about this subject in depth before the surgery and came to an understanding. If at any point any one of us felt insecure, left out or unappreciated we would go to counseling without fear that the other would get defensive. (Hubby and I enjoy the neutral third party perspective)

We are both very competitive so of course he started the gym with me! He's eating anything healthy I make and not only did I get him to sign up for a 5k with me but 4 other family members too! So far it's been great but every now and then we have to remind each other to make more of an effort to be more "lovey-dovey". (we have never been too mushy!)

I always tease him that he's a "chubby chaser" but the truth is he was with me when I was thinner and stayed with me when I got fat so I know I have someone who loves me for me. I couldn't ask for a better man, he doesn't exist!

This maybe waaaayyyy TMI but, my husband has told me he has plans for me after the surgery (he, he, he). He asked me if I was still as limber as I was in my days of gymnastics LOL On a more serious note, in the past before my orthopedic issues were such a problem, I have lost weight from diets and exercise and hubby was thrilled! Not just because I felt better about myself but because I was healthier. In his words, "I want you in this life and in the after-life so if getting surgery can make you healthier and hotter than I am behind you 200%". While I think some of our significant others would get a little annoyed at some extra attention, I believe that if the person really cares about you, the results of the surgery will only enhance things. Please keep us posted,

My husband has told me the same thing.

This is just the post I needed today. So, at the beginning, my husband was great! Very supportive...wanted to take care of me. He made sure I had all the right foods and was moving around, etc. Now, over the past few weeks, its like he's completely changed. He doesn't want sex as much as before, even though I am almost 45lbs lighter, he keeps asking me to help him eat better (which, when I do he gets this look like I"m being judgemental, and if I don't, he feels like crap and asks why I didn't tell him to stop) and when I get dressed now in some of the new...SMALLER....clothes I have gotten, I ask him how I look and its hardpressed to get even a 'good' let alone a 'great.' This morning I got a "its fine" which is pretty much what I get now. It just seems like he's gotten depressed....i'm not sure why...he's 6'3 and weighs maybe 220...which is tall and lanky. He's got a tiny beer belly, but no one can even tell. So I have no idea what's going on. He just doesn't seem to want me anymore. He's still a nice person and all, just disinterested.

Disinterested in me romantically that is. We are still best friends. It just seems almost platonic...and I definitely NEVER feel appreciated anymore. It more about what I haven't done then what I have.

And in all honesty....I went off on him this morning for saying that i looked "fine." He totally didn't get why I was upset and looked at me like I was totally overreacting, which set me off even more. To which I just said 'whatever' (the quintessential 90's kid response) and went to work.

Nevermind that I spend hours getting my hair done to look "pretty" to him and he tells me he doesn't like it. I got it done last week and when I can home he immediately had a concern about the color and never once said it looked good. It looked "fine." I get my eyebrows waxed, lip waxed (which is freakin painful, but I do it...) AND have lost 45LBS!!!!! I don't get it.....I do everything I can to make myself the best I can be (let alone being really successful at work and making sure to include his family in everything and Celebrate their events when he won't even do the tasks I ask him to do to help me) and he just doesn't seem to appreciate any of it. The last thank you I got was a few weeks ago when I made meatloaf for our friends that came over. Previously he had asked me not to make it anymore because my last meatloaf made him sick.

I'm sorry...I'm just venting...its just been a lot to take in lately.....I blew up this morning.