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Boring Tessa's Journey

A blog by boringtessa in General

  • Entries

    17

  • Comments

    11

  • Views

    1,871

About this blog

Boring Tessa's Journey, a weight loss surgery blog by boringtessa on BariatricPal. 17 entries on surgery, recovery and progress.

Entries in this blog

Too much, too soon.

Changing HOW I eat is so hard.  I mean, I knew it would be hard, but now I'm actually IN it. I should have been working on it earlier, this frantic eating.  Whenever I have food in front of me, it's like I haven't eaten in days, I just frantically shovel food into my mouth.  Now that I'm doing purees (and starting soft foods), the same thing is applying - I go into a frenzy when there's food around!  It is taking almost everything in me to slow down.  In fact, I have had two soft food meals

Saving money and kind friends.

Boy, I did not realize how much money I was spending on food.  Now that I've been on liquids for almost 3 weeks, I haven't spent basically anything.   I mean, I was already stocked up on protein and vitamins before the surgery, and I will eventually need to spend money on that.... well, and I will need to start spending money on food this coming Wednesday when I move on to purees.... BUT STILL.  I used to eat out every day (and not cheap fast food, but real restaurants), and it's no wonder I was

Going slow, getting bored.

Being an invalid is so boring.  I want to go out and do something, but my body isn't ready at all. Thankfully, I haven't had much pain (other than the gas pains, which, thankfully, I was able to get rid of while still in hospital).  Even in the hospital, my pain was relatively minimal, so I'm doing okay without the pain killers so far.  I've been able to take my psych meds - most can be broken in half, so I only have to crush one of them.  I've started taking my chewable vitamins, and there

The other side.

Well, I'm back!  The surgery was Wednesday, but they made me stay until today (Friday)... not because I wasn't doing well, but because it is a requirement of the surgeon.  I was actually impressing all the nurses with how well I was recovering.  I was up and walking within a couple hours, absolutely determined to progress.  AND the gas pains were surprising!  It's really unfortunate that there isn't really anything they can do to help with the gas pains except encourage walking, but the drugs di

Last Days and Second Thoughts.

Surgery is the day after tomorrow!     I'm starting to second-guess myself about the surgery - I know it's pre-surgery nerves, but it's still very real.  I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that I won't be able to eat like I used to.  Like, it's hard for me to imagine being able to be satisfied with just 1/2 cup of food.  I am a total foodie.  The delight of my life has been delicious, high quality food; I believe that the human sense of taste is one of God's kindest gifts

Food funerals and nerves.

The day is coming up!  A week from this Wednesday!  I'm getting nervous, but mostly in a good way.  I've told all my close people, and everyone is supportive so far; I've got a few people praying for me (well, mostly for the surgeon and his team), which is a comfort. I've been having "food funerals", though I'm on the fence about that concept in general... in some ways, it doesn't seem like a good idea to have "one last...." if it means binging on things.  That kinda defeats the purpose of

Pre-Op Appointment.

I met with my surgeon today for my pre-op appointment where he showed me what he would be doing, how long it should take, the risks involved, and the diet to follow.  He told me I had lost a total of 32 lbs so far and asked if I wanted to drop out and lose the weight on my own; when I told him I still believe I need the help, he told me he agreed with my decision, and so the countdown begins! There will be a 5-day liquid pre-op diet (no 2-week liver shrink diet like I feared, thank goodness

Approved!

I just got the call this morning - the insurance had approved the surgery!  My surgery date is October 3, 2018, which is a little sooner than I was expecting. I've been losing weight lately - so far I've lost about 30 lbs since when I started the journey.  This brings with it some doubts and waverings... sometimes I think, "Do I really need the surgery?", and for a while I think I'll cancel - I mean, I've been losing weight without it, maybe I can do it myself?  But I know that I need the h

Requirements cleared.

Well, it looks like I've met all my requirements!  Woooo!  I see the surgeon next Thursday, and I'll be ready for him to send all the info off for insurance approval.  This is very exciting!  I hope that he'll set a date for my surgery at that point... I'm going to start slowly buying things I know I'm going to need after my surgery; today I ordered a "fancy" scale (which was an affordable off-brand, but which I have read is accurate) and some leggings (since my pants are already falling of

Psych eval review.

So, I decided to use bariatricpsychevaluations.com for my eval - I was able to find only a few reviews, and they were split down the middle between satisfied people and people whose evaluations never made it to their doctors.  I figured I would chance it, and it paid off for me! I was able to get an evaluation appointment within a week, and the woman I spoke with was very thorough and easy to talk to.  For a little more than 2 weeks, though, I was calling my surgeon to see if the report sho

Surgery videos.

I've been watching videos of the VSG surgery, and I am fascinated.  It is really helpful for me to actually see what the procedure is, what is involved, what it looks like afterward, and to get a view of the anatomy in the area.  I think I would recommend these videos if one isn't squeamish, I think it is good to know what's going to happen to help one make the best decision for oneself. It is really a big hassle to be having the surgery so far away - it's a 1.25 hour drive each way to my s

Checking things off the list.

I made a checklist a while back of all the surgery prerequisites, and I have been checking things off - feels so good!  Because my blood work showed elevated liver enzymes (this has been the case for me for a while), the surgeon added one more requirement: get a liver ultrasound.  Ah, well.  But even with this new requirement, I will still be finished with everything by the end of the month!  Then he can submit everything to the insurance, and hopefully I'll be able to have the surgery in Septem

Feeling encouraged.

Last night I went to one of the required Support Group meetings, and I wasn't sure what to expect.  Turns out, all the people there were also pre-op, and the group leaders were very encouraging.  We talked a lot about the sleeve and it's benefits and some about the band - looks like most of the people getting surgery from Dr. Hanna have the sleeve, which is encouraging because that is the procedure I want; I definitely do not want the band.  I mean, what if my insurance runs out?  I won't be abl

Deep hunger and exercise struggles.

I had my colonoscopy/upper-endoscopy last Thursday, and the prep for that was a struggle - I think my body registered the Miralax solution as a poison because I could not keep it down, and I got a migraine from not eating.  But the procedure went fine, except... and this is so embarrassing... I think I ended up singing during it!  I know I was all drugged up, but I am so mortified about singing a love song while there was a camera in my colon! Anyways, ever since then, I have been eating li

Diet update and psych eval woes.

I was so so nervous and discouraged about the 1,200 calorie diet the surgeon wanted me to do, but it has turned out to be okay.  I go over the calorie limit much of the time, but not by much, and I am able to take it in stride and not beat myself up over it.  But lately it has been easier to control my eating (I almost feel like the promise of surgery is bolstering my spirits), but half of the days I still have that deep deep hunger that just won't seem to go away.  I'm not sure how long I'd be

Diet nerves.

From 06-03-2018   I have always been easily discouraged.  I will often not try something because I "know" I will fail at it, or I may do some other self-sabotaging thing.  This is a terrible way to live life, and I've only recently started working on it. This weight loss surgery is something I know I need to do, something I even WANT to do, and I am determined to give it a shot even though I "know" (untrue) it's just another thing I will likely fail at.  I'm trying to push past my

The beginning.

From 06-02-2018   Well, the surgeon said I am a great candidate for the surgery, so we're moving forward! I am very excited, I was so worried that he wouldn't approve, but it took very little time for him to evaluate me. Boy, the requirements!  Obviously there's the Nutrition appointments and a psych eval, but there's also lots of blood work and X-Rays, a Colonoscopy/Endoscopy, and the dreaded Pap Smear.  I will also need to attend a support group, twice.  It's fine, though,

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