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Last Days and Second Thoughts.



Surgery is the day after tomorrow!  
I'm starting to second-guess myself about the surgery - I know it's pre-surgery nerves, but it's still very real.  I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that I won't be able to eat like I used to.  Like, it's hard for me to imagine being able to be satisfied with just 1/2 cup of food.  I am a total foodie.  The delight of my life has been delicious, high quality food; I believe that the human sense of taste is one of God's kindest gifts, given for our pleasure.  How can I enjoy gourmet meals if I only get a tiny taste?  I know this is silly, I'm just used to bigger portions and eating fast as if I haven't eaten in days... once I am able to feel full quickly (imagine, actually being able to feel full?) and when I'm forced to really slow down and savor a meal, a small portion isn't going to be so bad.  But I am freaking out a little bit.  I just have to tell myself it will be worth it, and it won't be as bad as I think.
At this point, it's hard not to hope (and maybe even expect) that the surgery is going to show results immediately.  I'm not going to walk out of the hospital a thinner person, it's going to take maybe a year to get to goal weight, or maybe I'll never even reach my goal weight.  This has to be okay with me.
An update about the liquid diet - this is my 4th day on full liquids, and I think I'm doing okay.  I can't watch food shows/videos or anything because it's making me crazy and a little depressed, but I am not as hangry as I expected.  I am a bit grumpy, no doubt, but I've been able to stave off hunger pangs with protein drinks, soup, and V8.  The thing I haven't been able to prevent is migraines - I've got the family curse (it runs in my dad's side of the family).  One of my biggest migraine triggers is HUNGER, so I woke up this morning with a migraine; I've been expecting this, and I'm impressed that I haven't had one yet, but it was time for it to pop up.  Thankfully, my migraine medication is okay to take, which is helpful even if I can't take any effective pain killers (no blood thinners).
Alright, so, tomorrow - clear liquids and bowel prep; Wednesday, surgery!!


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It's weird how the plans are all different. Today's my 6th day on full liquids, and tomorrow is clear liquids only. No bowel prep, which maybe I am grateful for? I don't think I'm allowed to have V8. (I didn't ask, since tomatoes settle badly for me, anyway.)

Sugar free Jello has been the unsung hero of my week, and I think I might actually sing about it tomorrow, when it is the only "thick" thing I'm allowed to have.

Anyway, I hear you about second thoughts. I am really full of them, myself. I'm mostly worried about the near-term, right now--getting through the next month or so--but I share some of your longer-term concerns, too.

Anyway, I hope your surgery is quick and easy and your recovery goes well!

Check in on the October 2018 Sleevers thread when you're able to, after surgery, OK? I'm on the 3rd, too, but I probably won't check in on these forums until I'm home on (fingers crossed) the 4th.

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I know, it is totally weird how different everyone's plan is. I'm sorry that you had to be on liquids for 7 days! It's going to totally be worth it! You're so lucky to not have a bowel prep - I don't really understand why I have to do it, but I am willing to jump through any hoops to get this done.

I need to get some SF Jello, that is a good idea - something with a little "substance", haha. Were you eating SF stuff before, or did you just recently convert for the surgery? Were you able to get used to it fairly quickly? I'm not used to Sugar-Free, so I'm a little nervous about even going down that road.

I hope your surgery and recovery go well, as well! I will definitely check in afterwards, and will look forward to seeing you check in, too.

Some of my friends/family are nervous for me because it's kinda a serious surgery, but I've been acting like it's NBD. But it IS kinda serious - removing most of the stomach! So, in that light, I hope you don't have any complications and that you come out of it all safely. Good luck!

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I have kind of gone back and forth, sometimes using sugar-free stuff and sometimes avoiding it. I had a bit of a diet soda habit over the past couple of years, so I guess I'm used to aspartame, at least. Though I do notice the flavor--I can tell it from sugary stuff by the aftertaste (or lack thereof, in the case of sugar). I don't notice an aftertaste with sugar-free Jello, the same way I do with a lot of the sf stuff. It just tastes like Jello to me. I hope you're as lucky, there! :)

I haven't told anyone in my family, besides obviously my husband, who is ... worried, but really supportive, and trying not to burden me with his worry. (That's why I didn't tell my mom. I'd spend all my energy reassuring her, and she'd harass my husband all day on the surgery day.) Well, I told my younger brother, but he lives in another state, and his wife just had the sleeve, plus he's thinking of doing it early next year, so that conversation went well.

It's safer than a gallbladder removal or a joint replacement, statistically speaking, and those are also considered to be safe surgeries! I hope that we are both on the right side of all of the statistics--safe, pretty easy recovery, no complications, etc. ❤️

I look forward to hearing how great you're doing when we both check in on the 4th!

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