Hi, I was just wondering what your experiences have been as far as when you told people about your upcoming surgery. I feel like if my BMI was in the 50's it would be easier for people to understand and or be supportive of wanting to get this done.

My BMI is 39 as of today and I finally had the nerve to tell my best friend and she was totally not supportive and basically blew it off and said, "just join weight watchers, your not that big to have to go get a surgery". A friend at work told me basically the same thing too, "oh you aren't fat ha ha ha your so funny". But to me I am fat.......... obese......... whatever you want to call it. Just to name a few things, my knees and back hurt, I have no energy and this is so embarrassing to say but if I sit on the toilet to long my legs and feet fall asleep and I know that's from all this weight (242) I am carrying around. If weight watchers would work I would do it but obviously it dosen't nor does/did all the other 20 diets I have tried . I just feel like I have to really explain myself like when I was telling her I kept saying but I'm so unhealthy, if I wasn't unhealthy then I wouldn't do this, my Dr. thinks it's for the best, etc......

UGH, why can't people think this is great, be supportive, and be happy for me?

I've gone through the same thing. I am 210 pounds and a 35 BMI and people just treat me so rude. Even several people who I know have had the lap band think I should just diet or something. I just want to nip it in the bud now. Why should I have to wait until I have high blood pressure, diabetes and sleep apnea. I'm 31 years old and I want to enjoy my life. I've been trying to lose weight since I had my first child 10 years ago and instead I've continually gained weight and not been able to lose more than 5 pounds. I wanted to do it the normal way for a long time but it was obvious that wasn't going to happen. In a way I just gave up even trying. I feel like being able to get the lap band is a blessing because before I felt like things were hopeless and there was no way I would of qualified for gastric and I would have been to scared to get it anyway. But everything about the lap band feels right to me, it has given me hope that I can get to a healthy weight and be happy. People who aren't overweight just have no idea what it's like so don't listen to them. It's all relative, only we know how we feel in our bodies no one else has the right to say anything. Obviously if diets worked we wouldn't be going through this in the first place. Good Luck with everything. Keep us posted,

5 days before surgery

210/206/130

Hi everyone!

I am about 3 wks post-op and feeling fine. I have secured a fill nurse and am relieved about that. I live in an area where there is not alot of lapbands (if any) being done and therefore no need for a fill person. I was worried that I would have to travel 6 hours to get it done! I think I am about 15+ lbs down since surgery. Most of the swelling and pain in the abdomen has abated. Last night I watched a video of a lap band surgery on line. Being a nurse, I found it facinating, and only wished I'de seen it before surgery so I had an idea of what exactly is being done. If anyone is interested, go to the top of the page and do a search for lapband surgery video. I watched one from Utah, I think and it was good. If your'e squeamish, maybe avoid watching it as it is after all, surgery.

I'm the same BMI/Height/Age as you. I have my surgery in 5 days. If you want to keep in touch and see how things are going, let me know.

I hear ya Slcmommy! I've been fat all my life, under 5 feet 2 and 185 when I had my band done. I've done the diet thing countless times, with success, failure, success failure and on and on it goes!!!Each time, my self-esteem lost the weight while I got fatter! I do believe that my problem could never be solved by dieting alone, I needed an actual tool that prevented me from overeating. When people say it is the "easy way out", I say B.S.! How long should one continue on this road to nowhere before they are allowed to actually take a path that is successful? I'm pretty sure that no one getting this done has been fat for a short time! We all have a longstanding problem that we have tried countless times to address, to no avail. This tool is here for us, and we are gonna use it!

Hi, Jennifer - I thought at first you were talking about me...LOL I am at a 39 BMI also. Tons of people are telling me not to have the surgery, that I am not HEAVY enough to have to do that. Like you, my back hurst, my knees kill me and I have no energy. I have lost all of my weight time and time again, but I always gain it back. Since I have had the time spans of being the correct BMI I know how my body and mind feel when I don't have all the extra weight on me. I have just began my lapband journey. I have to go to the classes & loss 13 pounds. Just being focused on this makes me feel better already, I know I am on my way. So when people tell me I am not big enough for lap band, I just smile and say "THANKS, my lapband journey must be working".

Jennifer - Kentucky

Hi everyone - I am so glad to have found this post. I too - have had the looks at seminars, the comments from those we talk to about it that think its unecessary. Im 5'6 220 pounds with a BMI of 35 - I have HBP, back problems, repoductive issues etc.... Luckily from what Im told I have BCBS and they seem to approve pretty easily. I went for my consult - have already had some major medical workups lately(so that speeds things up), so now I just have to do my psych eval (on Wednesday) and wait to hear from the Dr.

I worry that even though my husband says hes supportive that hes gonna give me the I told you so speech and tell me that Im making everyone around me miserable afterwards (especially until Im acclimated to the whole thing). I think the men in our lives are simply worried that our jump in self esteem will somehow compromise our feelings for them or make them worry that they in turn wont be good enough anymore. Maybe thats and assumption, but I know my husband has "jokingly" said - "Youre gonna get all skinny and then leave me". I would never! So anyways - thanks for everyones insight this is truly a great support tool.

P.S. BLUND - where in orthern Michigan are you - Im in MI and grew up in Northern Michigan. Cant wait for this da*n state to thaw out!!!

Hi, got the OK from BCBS, they said with a letter from the surgeon it would be OK. So tomorrow night is a group meeting for lap band patients. Have to go to 4 of them I think. I have minor surgery at 2:00 in the afternoon so I will stick around for the meeting later that evening.

Hubby is quite supportive. I don't think he thinks I will leave him. He's the big strong overweight but it doesn't make him look fat, he's 6'4". Full head of hair and he's always been handsome. When he doesn't forget to put his teeth in LOL.

I want this for ME not anyone else.

Good luck everyong

Gall bladder surgery.

hence the incisions and the diet

I told my Best friend and she was the last person I told. Only my husband and mom know and of course my friend. Her reaction was, oh my god that is so drastic. So, is being obese and dying of heart disease and diabetes. I have neither but my aunt and uncle do and I see myself going down that road. So, I am doing something about it...even if it is drastic. = )

I understand how you feel. I am in the same situation. When I told my best friend that I was thinking of having this surgery she said I was crazy then added that I should join WW with her. My sister did the same thing...saying all you need to do is exercise! What they don't understand is that I have done all of that and it doesn't work. And I have never felt full in my life! I say turn to the internet for support! We are here for you!! Good Luck!

Hi everyone - just thought I'd update everyone - I wrote awhile back that my DH was so against my having surgery, I wasn't sure I was going to go through with it because I wasn't sure our marriage would survive it. Well, I did get my band on the 13th. He's been MORE than supportive, and has even apologized (with a diamond eternity ring) for being so hard on me in the first place. He says he'll never agree with my decision to have the surgery, or that I even needed it in the first place, but since I did go through with it, he'll be here for me. He was soooo sweet when I got home and did everything for me - wouldn't let me lift a finger until I finally told him I needed to do for myself if I was ever going to get better. I'm not 100% sure I did the right thing, I guess time will tell. Right now I'm just starting to get hungry, but on Wednesday, I can up my food intake to 1 cup from 1/2 and start on mushies, so hopefully that will help! Otherwise, I've felt great - never had any pain at all except for the gas - and walking really helps with that! Good luck everyone and hang in there even if you feel like you're not getting support from everyone!

Wanted to jump in here and tell you that I do understand. I'm 5'9" and when I gain 5 pounds no one really notices. I'm at BMI 33-34 and I've decided not to tell people about this, other than one coworker who had a procdure done years ago. She understands completely.

I read an article about sharing health issues in the work enviroment. For me obesity is a health condition. I may not have high blood pressure or diabetes, but my knees and my back hurt all the time.

The New York Times article strongly recommended not to tell anyone at work unless it was absolutely necessary, and I agree.

I'm generally not very open about my personal life anyway but when I read the sometimes quite cruel responses from those skinny people about the decision to be banded it reinforces my decision to keep my mouth shut.

My husband knows, my doc knows and my colleague.

As my surgery date approaches I'm getting more apprehensive about it all and the very last thing I need is a negative person around me.

Angie's hope,

I live a little bit west of Traverse City. My DH and I grew up here, moved away, but moved back with the family 2 years ago, so I'm not sick of the snow (yet). I got my kids' soccer info, so I know spring is on its way! We have about 3 feet of snow in the yard and we're running out of places to put the plowed snow!

Anyway, I went to the seminar back in August, and I was about the least overweight person there (except for the presenters) out of about 200 people! I definetly got some looks, but no rude comments. I'm tall too. 5'8" and my BMI is about 36, so I "carry it well" as I'm sure you tall gals have heard. I dont have a surgery date yet, but am leaning toward keeping my mouth shut too. It seems like anyone of any size just doesn't get it. Unless THEY have had the surgery, like the people on this forum. Its really been a lifesaver for me.

Good luck to everyone. (This waiting is killing me!!!)

Blund - Small world - I grew up in Grayling, not far from TC - I have family in TC and we love spending time there. Especially around Cherry Fest time. My family still lives in Grayling on Lake Margrethe and we are there in the summer all the time. So hopefully this summer we'll all be looking much cuter in swimsuits than we have in a long time. Good luck on your journey!

Everyone whos waiting for surgery dates in this 35-40 BMI range - keep us all posted, Id love to continue to hear everyones stories.

My psych eval is tomorrow morning - ugh...one step closer though!

Angie