Hi, I was just wondering what your experiences have been as far as when you told people about your upcoming surgery. I feel like if my BMI was in the 50's it would be easier for people to understand and or be supportive of wanting to get this done.

My BMI is 39 as of today and I finally had the nerve to tell my best friend and she was totally not supportive and basically blew it off and said, "just join weight watchers, your not that big to have to go get a surgery". A friend at work told me basically the same thing too, "oh you aren't fat ha ha ha your so funny". But to me I am fat.......... obese......... whatever you want to call it. Just to name a few things, my knees and back hurt, I have no energy and this is so embarrassing to say but if I sit on the toilet to long my legs and feet fall asleep and I know that's from all this weight (242) I am carrying around. If weight watchers would work I would do it but obviously it dosen't nor does/did all the other 20 diets I have tried . I just feel like I have to really explain myself like when I was telling her I kept saying but I'm so unhealthy, if I wasn't unhealthy then I wouldn't do this, my Dr. thinks it's for the best, etc......

UGH, why can't people think this is great, be supportive, and be happy for me?

Hi ronwifey!

Your dilemma is exactly why I have decided I am not telling anyone except my husband and a few close friends. Unfortunately, you can't tell everyone everything even if they are your best friend.

My BMI is 40 and people say I don't look like I weigh 250 but it's only because of the way I am shaped... small upper body, smaller waist but a giagantic butt! (LOL) For me it's not just about how I look... both my parents are diabetic mom is overweight dad is not so for me it's a health issue.

I cannot join weight watchers NOT one more time. I have done it like I swear 20 times in the last 15 years. Also, I cannot take diet pills forever talk about unhealthy so for me this will be another tool to get healthy.

So my point is do what you feel you have to do. It's your body and it's between you and (if you believe in him) GOD!

Best Wishes!

I'm new to the forum and still waiting for approval (hopefully I'll hear something this week). I am one of the oldest in an office of 10 women and, sadly, at 202lbs., I'm one of the smallest. There are three other women in the office who are in their 20's and are at least 300lbs. each. When I mentioned I was hoping to get the band they just laughed and said, "that's ridiculous...just go on a diet." So now I just don't say anything.

If I get approved I'm hoping these young women will see my success and realize they can have success as well. Either way I'm on my way to a healthy, happy new lifestyle!

I agree. They haven't been alive long enought to try everything like all of us have! I'm sure they'll think again after they've seen you 6 months post-op! good luck

I have definitely heard the "you aren't big enough for surgery" deal. I have done weight watchers, I have done jenny craig, I have taken pills and exercised 3 hours every night while going to school and working, and obviously it just keeps coming back. I have exhausted my options. It's really none of their business if we are "big enough or not" A surgeon isn't going to do it if you don't qualify. So that should tell them that you can have it. Living with knee pain and back pain is no good, so hopefully your friend will understand that and isn't just being jealous.

I haven't told one of my bestfriends either. I just don't know when I want to tell her. I told her I was thinking about it and she said absolutely nothing, so I never told her that I really am doing it. I had another friend who went through gastric a while ago and my fiance had the nerve to say I was just doing it because i didn't want her to be skinnier than me.... that was the most nerve racking thing i have heard so far.

Don't worry about other people, Do what is right for you!

I was 227 at 5' 6". My only co-morb was my knee issues. Sounds like you should be fine!

Does anyone know if a hiatal hernia counts as a comorbidity? I'm getting scoped for one tomorrow.

I remember the same arguments when birth-control first came out in the 60s-70s. "If you don't want to get pregnant, just don't have sex. Find something else to occupy your time. Why take hormones that aren't tested, that could ruin your health."

It's not about removing all the consequences for our actions, it's about having new tools to shape our lives.

I'm guilty of the same initial reaction to my husband's LASIK surgery. "Your vision is correctable with glasses. Why risk your eyesight just for a little convenience." Best money he ever spent, by the way.

I am going on April 1 this year. I have had negative remarks from my daughter (21) and various friends. Olny YOU can make this decision. I realize I cant make everyone happy, But this IS NOT like getting a tummy tuck or a boob job (although That will probebly be needed after my weight loss) This is a life saving surgery. I look at this as something I need to help me live a healthy life.

I canceled my surgery for similiar reasons. This was about a month ago, an additional 8lb, and many regrets. I go in Thursday for another appointment.

Hey, I went to an introduction of the surgery this past Monday, I am 5'4" and weight 225 with BMI of 38. I felt like a lightweight and I know some of the larger men and women looked at me like I didn't belong there. But I do. I have TypeII diabetes, and joint problems and Sleep Apnea.

If any of the nurses or other say anything I will most probably tell them politely that they are NOT me. Don't pass judgment. The staff seems to be very supportive. So I hope no problems with them.

My BMI was 40. I had to pick and chose who I told. I knew I'd get a lot of crap from some people. but I did it! I feel much better about myself and don't regret it at all. good luck!

Funny how people can be so quick to pass judgement. I have found that when I've told some of my "larger" friends, they were pretty negative about it. I think that stems from jealousy maybe? Normal size friends always said that I wasn't that big. What is "that big"? Considering that I'm already on BP meds, I would think that's "big" enough!

I went ahead and had it done regardless of what people in my life thought. I'm sure when they see me fit, trim and happy their outlook on WLS will be much different. Guess we can look at it as a chance to open others eyes to the positive aspects of WLS.

I just had my surgery last week,i only weigh 246 before surgery i had the the same experience. i am african american and carry weight in my thighs and butt, so i often get your not fat. i have chronic back pain and heart disease runs in my family. but i know i made the right choice because my father died of a massive heart attack the day after my surgery last week. i know i did the right thing.

Congratulations erikadawn, you have taken the right steps. People tell me I'm "not that big" too. I carry mine in my boobs and stomach my arms and legs are not that fat. We are all doing it for ourselves, or families and mostly for our health, I wish others understood that. I do see some jealousy in people who are also heavy who are family and friends, they may not want you thin and beautiful, they want to keep you the way you are.

My husband and daughter are very supportive. He said, oh my you will be the skinny girl I married...LOL, well I doubt if I will hit 110 ever but hey 130-140 will be fine with me. He loves me no matter what, but he has been concerned with my health.

He's going to "diet" along with me which is good too.

My father wasn't big but he had a gut and died at 62 from heart failure. My Mom died in 2005 at 77 from a lot of things, her weight about 300 lbs. diabetes and a bad heart. I do not want to repeat that pattern for sure. Quit smoking 2 years ago I did gain maybe 15 lbs but I did lose it. I admit I do eat to compensate for not smoking. I took up scrapbooking and photography to keep me busy. And a new and first granddaughter due in May will also keep me busy. I want to be around for her college graduation and marriage.

Erikadawn you do what's right for you....and you will be happy take care and God Bless

We all get different reactions from different people, but typically others opinions are a reflection of themselves. I am of the mindset that I tell anyone who asks. I am the one who has had to live this life on a rollercoaster of weight loss and gain. i am the one who has thought about every bit of food i have ever eaten or didn't eat. i am the one who if it could be done, i would have done it, who wants to be fat? if I could change I would have done it years ago. i have tried it all and it HAS NOT worked. so I am doing something that does work. Until someone walks in my shoes they really shouldn't judge. I am ecstatic about having surgery. I am going to finally get the monkey off my A$$. I know what good meal planning is and i certainly am no stranger to exercise so having a tool that completes the circle for me is just what I need. I don't know about the rest of you but I can eat and not ever really feel full/satisfied. So this is just right for me! If others are unsupportive then so be it, don't judge what you don't understand!!!I will be banded 3/5/08!! I can hardley wait!G2S