Hi, I was just wondering what your experiences have been as far as when you told people about your upcoming surgery. I feel like if my BMI was in the 50's it would be easier for people to understand and or be supportive of wanting to get this done.

My BMI is 39 as of today and I finally had the nerve to tell my best friend and she was totally not supportive and basically blew it off and said, "just join weight watchers, your not that big to have to go get a surgery". A friend at work told me basically the same thing too, "oh you aren't fat ha ha ha your so funny". But to me I am fat.......... obese......... whatever you want to call it. Just to name a few things, my knees and back hurt, I have no energy and this is so embarrassing to say but if I sit on the toilet to long my legs and feet fall asleep and I know that's from all this weight (242) I am carrying around. If weight watchers would work I would do it but obviously it dosen't nor does/did all the other 20 diets I have tried . I just feel like I have to really explain myself like when I was telling her I kept saying but I'm so unhealthy, if I wasn't unhealthy then I wouldn't do this, my Dr. thinks it's for the best, etc......

UGH, why can't people think this is great, be supportive, and be happy for me?

Hello all 35-39er's

I am at 39 BMI and tall also but I'm still 100+ pounds overweight. I am fortunate to have a wonderful friend who is 5' and about 90 lbs. who supports me totally. She is great and tells me she wants me to have a long healthy life and the hell what anyone thinks.

My partner is also getting the surgery. She does not want anyone to know so I am not telling anyone else. I hope all of you find one person other than a spouse or partner to tell and complain to when neccessary. It helps.

I'm being banded on Monday and I can't wait to change my relationship with food. I am so tired of being depressed by how much I weigh.

Best and love to you all!

Sadie

I am 5 ft. 9 and a BMI of 36/37 (getting larger by the day as I am pre op). I really like when people say "Your not t h a t fat ...you're just BIG"...oh okay...that's better, that means I can't do anything about it...great. Or from thin people well your are very overweight but you're not one of those people that need surgery for weight loss!! The truth is I am 85 pounds heavier than I was only 12 years ago..but because I am tall and large boned I carry it well but my heart doesn't think so. Have heart disease & Type II diabetes in my family big time!

Actually when ever I tell a medical professional I am considering the lap band...there responses are ...from a nurse: "Cool" good for you...from Doc's....Good ...as you get older you'll be less active this will be good for you". or just Okay...as long as you know that you will still have your mind to deal with (head hunger). Great topic thank you~

I'm 5'8" and 36 BMI. I "carry it well" too, but also want to lose around 80+ lbs. We sound about the same size, Sooverit. "Just big." :biggrin:

I've yo yo'd over and over and am also tired of this fight. All of my Dr appts and tests are done, and I'm anxiously awaiting insurance approval.

My only good friend whom I've told, is also overweight, but seems cynical about the LBS. I'm pretty sure she'll be supportive once things are finalized. DH has never had a weight problem but is supportive. I don't want to tell anyone else at this point since I've heard about more negative comments than positive. I pretty much just have this forum to help me rant and rave! I'm so glad everybody is here!

I am 4'8" and get the same responses. You do not need this! I have struggled all my life. I have diabetes and have a family history or heart problems. The people you see everyday just think you do not have the willpower. My PCP's nurse keeps trying to talk me out of this. But this is a lifelong challenge for most people. I was not blessed with good genes, so I inhereted alot of co-morbidiites. So when I fianlly decided I needed to do this,and went to the info meeting, I also got alot of stares from people whom were much "larger" than myself.

I have a neighbor who sneers at me, and says that I just need to go to the Gym and workout and control what I eat. She is taller and her "genes" are great! Her whole family has no weight problem, but when her and her sister decided to get "boobs" everyone cheered her on! Give me a break! Yes I have "boobs" my own thank you, that I would much not like to have! I just hope I loose those too along with the butt, hips thighs, and get off all the meds I take!

Bandlady, you and I have about the same measurements, and I have also heard the same thing. And that surgery is so risky. "Why don't you just diet?" Well, why in the world didn't I think about that? Duh. I just wanted to stay fat for the fun of it! LOL. My problem is not just the weight, but I also have diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol.

Polly522,

Its interesting about your neighbor getting cheered on for a boob job, when you get criticized for a needed surgery to improve your health! What a crock of $hit! More reasons for me to not tell many people if and when Im banded.

Yes, I have decided not to tell anyone. I am a stay at home mom for the last seven years. I usually make my appts when my DH has the day off, so that I do not have to inconvience anyone. My sister knows, but she lives in LA. Her daughter is considering this also. She is 6'2, 20 yrs, and 100 lbs overweight. I told her to go get a full blood workup for everything, because if she is like us, she has all the same co-morbitities as we do.

Blund the waiting is killing me also. LOL. I just had a cyst removed from y left breast. I have had them for years being overweight. From the oil glands backing up. I hope when I lose the weight and they get smaller it will not happen that often. This one was the worst it just kept coming back over and over again. Then they finally decided to take it out. Right now have what appears to be a knife wound. It will get stitched up next week after the antibiotics take the infection away.

I went to a meeting the other night. It went well. Can't wait for the total approval of the doctors at the clinic. It's an all day thing.

Keeping fingers crossed it goes well for me and for everyone.

take care

I started with a BMI of 38, had surgery with BMI of 36. When I went on the pre-op diet, I told the doc if I lose too much weight, I won't qualify any longer. He grinned and said we'd put rocks in my pockets for the weigh in!

I have had several people tell me I am not heavy enough for this surgery. I say when I started the process I was 220 with high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, knee and foot pain. That usually shuts them up or I hear, "wow, you hide it well." My weight is all over my body, so maybe I do look "thinner" than I am, but when I see me in pictures with other people I am almost always the largest one in the picture.

But then, what is someone who is not your best friend going to say..."Oh good for you, you are soooo big!" or "It's about time!" ?? :rolleyes2:

I have been fortunate, those closest to me know my struggles and have been nothing but supportive.

I have chosen to be very open about the procedure I had done. Thus, I guess I can expect some unexpected responses.

My BMI is 36, so I have to have at least 2 comorbidities. They have me with the comorbidities of sleep apnea (I use a CPAP), osteo-arthritis, and depression. I have great colesteral & blood pressure. I feel like I'm maybe 50/50 on being approved. The unknown..........UGGGH!

This is just driving me nuts. I have a BMI of 37 @ 5'3" weighting 212!. No one thinks I weight this. My best friend is 240 @ the same height! She dose not think I need this. I have at least 3 co morbitites....Diabetic, High BP, High Cholesterol AND NASH (fatty liver)...but my MOVE (diet program) counselor keeps pushing me to lose weight. I am having enough of a time to keep it at 210 ish...O.K. I may be a bit naive, but I am not dumb, as soon as I lose 10 lbs down goes my weight and BMI and out the door goes my chance of the surgery! Even my liver Dr. said I was a candidate for it. I get so irritated at folks who know nothing of what life is like for us. Its not about fitting into smaller clothes (yes it will be fun once again) but its about health and being around to see my grandson granulate high school. Sorry for the rant.

I know how you feel. It seems like the minute I mention it to certain people I get negative energy from them. I feel fat and I feel like I look overweight. If your not happy with the way you are who cares what other people are thinking. Most of my co-workers think I am "not that big". I don't want to be big at all. I havent been less than 200lbs in over 6 years. Don't worry about what other people think, your what matters. Do it for you!! Good Luck

I found out yesterday that my shrink letter went out to my bariatric coordinator. She calls the insurance companies on Wednesdays, so my paperwork should go this Wednesday! Another stage of waiting is past!

I don't know if I'll have to do the 6 month diet, but it seems weird to go on a supervised diet not wanting to lose weight because you know you've tried and tried everything and WANT THE BAND!!! And if all of your health professionals agree that the band is best for you, do you "fake" dieting?? Its almost humorous!! My BMI was up to 36.8 and when I went for my surgeon's appt, it was at 35.6! I even ate a big lunch before the appt! The nurse told me that about 5 lbs = 1 BMI.

I wasn't going to share this with anyone except my hubby...he was always very supportive through ALL my diets. Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, Fen-Phen (yes, I tried it before it was banned).....

A friend told me about having the surgery over Christmas break.....and as she was telling me her story, I felt that of all people who I could trust with MY secret....it was her. She has been such an inspriation to me and so supportive....as our surgery dates are just 3 weeks apart. It feels like I have an instant support system who I can share things with and ask questions at any time. My husband is the only other person who knows but he's not overweight....the support is wonderful. I will not trust anyone else with my secret though....the negative comments would put me over the edge and I just invested $10K....so I'd probably punch them out!!!

It is such a personal decision whether or not to tell, and who to tell or not..

I have decided to be very open. So far, I haven't encountered any negativity. Unless you consider the reaction of normal weight people not understanding why I made the decision I did because I "am not that big." I explain that it has been a life-long battle and I was pre-diabetic, had high-blood pressure, and a family history of heart disease. That usually gets a nod of semi-understanding.

That is my decision...

I have someone at work who had gastric bypass. She is a huge support to me. Although the surgeries are very different, she is a great cheerleader.

Denise