Why did you pick such a high goal weight? Your BMI is STILL overweight!

[summerset 5,261]

6 hours ago, Jujubeez919 said:

Best advice I've heard came from a bariatric surgeon:

"You/we don't know your goal weight yet; you won't choose your goal weight- it will choose you and you'll know it when you find it. " 💜

This.

[Tracyringo 503]

Looks like we have same stats and I totally get it. When my weight is 165-170 I dont have as many wrinkles on my arms and face. I staying right at 158 ish and can tell the difference in those 10 lbs when it comes to skin and wrinkles being worse. I wear size 8 to 10 depending on the brand and you are right those BMI calculators are not one size fits all. My bariactric team says that even though I may be a 25 BMI you have to figure in the extra skin considering I lost over 150 lbs.

[ruthpets 77]

7 hours ago, blackcatsandbaddecisions said:

Ruthpets I’m also 5’10 and seriously people do not understand how different heights of people affect clothing size. When I was in those sizes I looked great. It’s the same people who think that anything over 150 for a woman is inconceivable.

I will have you all know that my goal is my birth weight- 9 lbs 6 oz or bust!! I’m gonna fit into that duck onesie again and I’ll just be the ultimate weight loss winner for life. 🎉

🤣🤣🤣O M G. I am soooooo stealing that response if someone asks how much weight I want lose!!! I'm going to add that at 7.8 pounds I will be able to allow for a little 'wiggle room' if I fluctuate🤣🤣🤣

[Creekimp13 5,838]

8 hours ago, blackcatsandbaddecisions said:

I will have you all know that my goal is my birth weight- 9 lbs 6 oz or bust!! I’m gonna fit into that duck onesie again and I’ll just be the ultimate weight loss winner for life. 🎉

OMG...this is hysterical. blackcats...you're killin me! LOLOLOLOL

[lizonaplane 1,605]

On 3/21/2021 at 11:07 PM, Creekimp13 said:

"As it happens, I have a good friend who models. He's 5' 10", weighs 157 pounds soaking wet, and they STILL wanted him to use coke for a week and fast...to look more sickly skinny for his last national ad campaign."

My semi-ex-boyfriend is 5'10" and weighs 135 soaking wet. He eats a lot, although he doesn't like to eat "unhealthy" foods. However, when I used to make him a pound cake, it would "disappear" in less than a day! Even he had his weaknesses. He told me that when he used to eat a lot of fast food in college he weighed the same. Some people just have certain builds. It helps that he's never sitting still. He is very compassionate about my struggles with food, even though he really can't understand it.

My surgeon tells me I'm unlikely to lose more half my excess weight with VSG so I think maybe my goal weight is unrealistic, but I don't want to still be in plus sizes when I'm done losing weight!

On 3/21/2021 at 11:07 PM, Creekimp13 said:

[ThisMomOf5 9]

Whoever said that was out of line. Your posts have been so timely for me being 1 month post op and just starting my journey! I too have chosen a higher goal weight. My NUT excitedly told me she can get me to 145 or 150 and I said no thanks. I am larger framed and pretty muscular under all this fat. Last year I had a body scan that said I have 145lbs of organs, muscle and bone under all the fat and water! Of course with fat loss I will lose some muscle but I’ll try to minimize that. Always been into sports and working out only lately the weight has made it so painful and hard. My 15 yo daughter who is built the same as me without the fat weighs 150 and she has serious abs and no curves (Dont tell her I said that! Luckily she won’t be reading this!!). I remember being happiest with my weight when I was 160-170. Clothes looked good, I felt good and I still had a boobs and a round butt. Ultimately whatever weight gets me to that point again is my true goal. Nice to see other like minded people out there!

[Jujubeez919 6]

11 hours ago, ThisMomOf5 said:

Whoever said that was out of line. Your posts have been so timely for me being 1 month post op and just starting my journey! I too have chosen a higher goal weight. My NUT excitedly told me she can get me to 145 or 150 and I said no thanks. I am larger framed and pretty muscular under all this fat. Last year I had a body scan that said I have 145lbs of organs, muscle and bone under all the fat and water! Of course with fat loss I will lose some muscle but I’ll try to minimize that. Always been into sports and working out only lately the weight has made it so painful and hard. My 15 yo daughter who is built the same as me without the fat weighs 150 and she has serious abs and no curves (Dont tell her I said that! Luckily she won’t be reading this!!). I remember being happiest with my weight when I was 160-170. Clothes looked good, I felt good and I still had a boobs and a round butt. Ultimately whatever weight gets me to that point again is my true goal. Nice to see other like minded people out there!

Nobody knows your body better than you do! When I told my hubby of 20 years that "according to the BMI charts" I had another 50-55lbs to lose he said "don't you dare!" and while I do have some more to lose to *feel* my best I'd look ill losing another 50lbs!

I'm sure you're beautiful & beyond that you're concerned with FEELING healthy which is far more accurate than some one size fits all chart.

Congrats on the steps you've taken and your progress so far! 💜

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@Creekimp13

I guess nothing has changed on this site. People judge food choices, goal weight, current weight, weight regain or revision. They judge how you work your own plan.

I've been judged here because I enjoy sports (running, biking and hiking) If I never had surgery and enjoyed sports would I still get the same negative judgment?

It's weird how judgmental some people can be.

[Jaelzion 1,122]

4 hours ago, Healthy_life2 said:

@Creekimp13

I guess nothing has changed on this site. People judge food choices, goal weight, current weight, weight regain or revision. They judge how you work your own plan.

I've been judged here because I enjoy sports (running, biking and hiking) If I never had surgery and enjoyed sports would I still get the same negative judgment?

It's weird how judgmental some people can be.

My goodness, last time I checked, exercise was a good thing. Especially activities that you enjoy. What could anyone find to judge about that?

[ms.sss 14,691]

1 hour ago, Jaelzion said:

My goodness, last time I checked, exercise was a good thing. Especially activities that you enjoy. What could anyone find to judge about that?

Oh, if you look, you'll find quite a few posts about "excessive" exercising, references to "obsessive" activity, and dire warnings about the inability to sustain activity levels and the "inevitable" crash and burn as a result.

Sigh.

Edited March 29, 2021 by ms.sss

[ms.sss 14,691]

6 hours ago, Healthy_life2 said:

I've been judged here because I enjoy sports (running, biking and hiking) If I never had surgery and enjoyed sports would I still get the same negative judgment?

My husband is very active and fit. He does some sort of something every single day for HOURS throughout the day. Every day. Even more in the summer months. He's been this active for the entire time I've known him (25+ years...he's actually probably more active now than when I first met him). No one who knows him bats an eyelash.

Now, *I* started running 5 measly km over a year or so ago, and I got a good share of "concerned" comments.

Further to this, early into maintenance my eating habits were/are very similar to my always-been-thin-sister-in-law. If she turned down a peice of cake, it was all, whatever. If *I* turned down the same cake, there would be alot more insisting, and "are you sure?"'s.

I think people in general are not good with change. It takes time for people to get used to a new normal, or to understand/accept how someone can be doing something starkly different than themselves.

I'm 2.5+ years out now, and nobody asks me a second time if I want that cake, or display surprise/concern at my exercise habits. Here on BP though, I do sometimes feel/sense that there is that still that "concern"...but that's just the nature of internet forums.

Edited March 29, 2021 by ms.sss

[momof3_angels 465]

1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

My husband is very active and fit. He does some sort of something every single day for HOURS throughout the day. Every day. Even more in the summer months. He's been this active for the entire time I've known him (25+ years...he's actually probably more active now than when I first met him). No one who knows him bats an eyelash.

Now, *I* started running 5 measly km over a year or so ago, and I got a good share of "concerned" comments.

Further to this, early into maintenance my eating habits were/are very similar to my always-been-thin-sister-in-law. If she turned down a peice of cake, it was all, whatever. If *I* turned down the same cake, there would be alot more insisting, and "are you sure?"'s.

I think people in general are not good with change. It takes time for people to get used to a new normal, or to understand/accept how someone can be doing something starkly different than themselves.

I'm 2.5+ years out now, and nobody asks me a second time if I want that cake, or display surprise/concern at my exercise habits. Here on BP though, I do sometimes feel/sense that there is that still that "concern"...but that's just the nature of internet forums.

So very true! I don't know why people are so worried when people are doing things to better their health! Even before WLS... I found things that "worked" better than others. For example, I struggled with major/severe exhaustion because of my then undiagnosed sleep apnea/ insomnia - so I was so tired I went to bed at 8 pm most nights (also was a very early riser). During that time, I found that I couldn't lose weight if I ate after 4 pm. OMG... the HORROR... I wasn't eating for the last 4 hours of my evening?!!! Yet several of my friends stayed up until 10/11 and didn't eat past 6/7pm. So, what is the difference?! I mean, I ate plenty throughout the day... just not at the END of the day. And drinking calories. If I had one bad nutrition habit, that was it. So I would do my best to avoid calorie filled drinks during any weight loss plan I had. And more importantly... I found I could NEVER lose weight and often gained if I drank any alcohol. Even just half a glass of wine. So I would go to a party and do my best not to drink alcohol. My friends were losing it because I didn't want to get drunk with them. They couldn't handle if I didn't drink anything or just had half a glass of wine. I actually had to ditch some friends that I used to love hanging out with because they couldn't handle that I wasn't willing to give in and drink with them every single time we got together. And exercise? Well... I hate most exercise lol. But I love my long walks. People think I am crazy because my go to walk is 6 miles and takes 1 hour and 45 minutes and they just don't get it. But I enjoy it. It is hardly a workout for me, but I feel great afterwards. But somehow it is wrong for me to take my long walks. People are crazy the way they react to others.

Edited March 29, 2021 by momof3_angels

[summerset 5,261]

The people who're complaining about others being so judgmental about their choices seem to be pretty judgmental towards these people as well. Funny.

[Jaelzion 1,122]

4 hours ago, ms.sss said:

Oh, if you look, you'll find quite a few posts about "excessive" exercising, references to "obsessive" activity, and dire warnings about the inability to sustain activity levels and the "inevitable" crash and burn as a result.

Sigh.

Oh, I see. But "excessive" is a subjective standard, so...we all get to define it for ourselves, no?

[ms.sss 14,691]

5 minutes ago, Jaelzion said:

But "excessive" is a subjective standard, so...we all get to define it for ourselves, no?

100%

I guess its just the nature of forums. Its basically all subjective. It's subjective for those who do (or post) whatever it is they do (or post), as it is subjective to those that comment on it.

People will judge, BE judged, FEEL judged, PERCEIVED to be judging, PERCEIVED to be judged, and on and on and on....while yes, we are free and in our rights to define our own individual standards, stating these standards in a public forum is essentially an open invitation to others to offer up their standards. Sometimes will be agreement, and sometimes there won't...And sometimes...chaos ensues.

I don't normally comment on behaviour on here, but there's been an prevailing atmosphere of snarkiness/unkindness and defensive-ness that I've been reading on here lately that I've been finding off-putting (in MY subjective opinion...which is in no way a statement that I think all - or any - will have the same view).