Anxiety is through the roof today. Things are overwhelming when looking at it in sum at the moment. The big picture is just, well... too big.
We walked the dog today and just like yesterday I wasn't really in the mood. Today even less so than yesterday because I knew what was going to happen. I tend to mull over things in my head and start ruminating when walking in quiet. The conversation with my husband will inevitably turn to these things, raining my anxiety even more.
It's different when going for a run or a bike ride. Thoughts are not as present then. I don't know if it's the higher heart rate, the fact that I need to be more aware of the movement when running or needing to be more aware of the environment because of moving faster when riding a bike or a combination of it all.
Fact is, I hate walking for this reason, even when not alone. I start ruminating and start to feel like crap when there's something going on.
Maybe just maybe eating more is the key? Starting Tuesday I upped my calories to 896, Wednesday 858 and yesterday 916, for an average of 890 per day. My scale has been moving ever so slowly (lucky to get a pound in a week) but today I dropped 2 pounds! I am also going to do my measurements today and see where that takes me.