Todd_196

It's been a much better week even though I've drank a little bit. I'm not proud of it and I'm actually very angry with myself. However, the upside to it was that I didn't get drunk and black out. I've realized too that I need to go to therapy, I still struggle with many things in my life. But I recognize that and I'm willing to take that head on. I have an appointment with my therapist next week to get back on track. I've also been eating much differently than I have been as of late. I'm back to mostly protein and very low carbs. I've been walking daily, even though it's only for about a mile or so it's still better than sitting around. My energy level is rising and I'm putting more thought into what I'm doing physically, mentally and nutritionally. Thanks to all of you that have given encouragement and shown concern. I appreciate it more than you may know. I've let a lot of people down as of late, most notably myself, and know that people actually care is refreshing and empowering. So thank you! Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions. For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back. My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day. Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that. My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back. However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol. Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again. Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised. I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there. So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away. Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app