Hi Guys,

I’ve recently had some family drama pop up and I’m disappointed to say that I got dragged into it and fed the proverbial beast.

However, when talking about it with a friend of mine I had an epiphany of sorts and I realized that in the long run the issue really didn’t matter that much to me. I made the decision at that moment to not address this issue or any other crap that does not directly affect me or my wife or kid.

I’ve found that I need to eliminate stress in my life to be successful in my weight loss and for my own peace of mind. I have done this in the past when I lost a significant amount of weight and it made realize that I can only control things that I’m able to. Knowing that and putting it into practice helped me be calmer, more focused and productive in all aspects of my life.

Some people didn’t care for my new outlook, such as my mom when she would complain about her sister. I would simply say “Mom, how does this affect you, dad or us kids directly?” She would say “It doesn’t.” To that I would answer, “Well then, I guess there is nothing you can do about it and you should stop wasting energy on things you can’t change”.

She would get angry with me because I wouldn’t take the “bait” with her. But my philosophy was to remove uncontrollable stressors as best as possible, basically all of the crap that was just noise, and focused on real things that can be changed or things that I needed to pay attention to because of potential importance.

Regretfully I got lazy in this mindset and I fell off the wagon and went back to my old ways of adding to the b***h fest. I’ve been acting like a cranky old man that has nothing better to do than b***h about everything.

Well it stops. Now! Again some people in my life won’t like this much but it’s my health and well-being and that of my wife and son that matter the most to me now. I’ll be there for people and help if I can but not if it’s a constant drone of pissing and moaning. I'll even do my best to not complain when ladies comment on stuff in the Guys Room section, even though that does drive me nuts.

Baby steps right?

Agreed. Before you can help anyone else, you need to fix yourself by making yourself healthy. Sometimes the hard thing to do is to stand back and let matters unfold, but you can't do anything about the views of others, you can only take control of how you decide to react in everyday situations and therein how you are going to deal with the stress.
Good decision!


HW 365 CW 332 GW 220
Sleeved 6th March 2018

Edited March 13, 20188 yr by AniracIre

Sounds good. Focus on the important stuff. Develop a thick skin and let everything that is not important to simply roll off.

I would simply say “Mom, how does this affect you, dad or us kids directly?” She would say “It doesn’t.” To that I would answer, “Well then, I guess there is nothing you can do about it and you should stop wasting energy on things you can’t change”.
She would get angry with me because I wouldn’t take the “bait”...

Love this approach. Sure, you fell off the proverbial wagon temporarily but now you realize it and can consciously make that choice. And by posting this story you've helped give me a tip on how to react to those situations, thank you!

VSG 10/11/17
HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 3/7/18
CW = 218 (6'5") [emoji256]

On ‎3‎/‎20‎/‎2018 at 6:45 PM, 336Mike said:

Love this approach. Sure, you fell off the proverbial wagon temporarily but now you realize it and can consciously make that choice. And by posting this story you've helped give me a tip on how to react to those situations, thank you!

VSG 10/11/17
HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 3/7/18
CW = 218 (6'5")

I've been trying to do the same at work. Typically it applies to the office drama but occasionally it applies to my customer that can be a bit childish.

Its all about weighing the priorities.