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Surgery this month, wife threatening divorce



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Hi all. Josh is the name. First post. I have surgery scheduled on Feb 26th. I'm excited.

My wife has been against it for months when I first brought it up. Claims WLS is a money making scam and thinks that being a nurse makes her an expert. I let her know my plans as soon as i got a surgery date. About 5 weeks beforehand. I did kind of drop the news on her but I knew she would never let me get as far into the process as I have. Shes very unsupportive and is even threatening divorce if i go thru with it. I'd like to mention that i just found out shes pregnant so i think she may try stabbing me in my sleep.

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In before thread goes crazy!

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Best advice - cancel your life insurance now! She won’t stab you then, she might need you.

You are just going to have to prove her wrong, show her that WLS does work.

She is probably feeling insecure and worried that you may decide to find someone else once you are looking super hot. Reassure her and remember pregnancy hormones are a b***h!

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Sorry that your wife isn't supportive, but there's tons of data to prove her wrong. Since you are about to be a dad, being healthy is in the best interest of your family going forward. Hope she has a change of heart.

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1 hour ago, elcee said:

Best advice - cancel your life insurance now! She won’t stab you then, she might need you.

You are just going to have to prove her wrong, show her that WLS does work.

She is probably feeling insecure and worried that you may decide to find someone else once you are looking super hot. Reassure her and remember pregnancy hormones are a b***h!

You can't collect on life insurance if you kill someone where you are the beneficiary, lol. I used to work for insurance company and heard some interesting stories about that. As to WLS being a scam let her know RNY has been done for over 50 years. Also show her some of the before and after pics. That was one of my motivations, wanting to look like the after pics after spending all my life looking like the before pic.

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Will she come to any of your appointments and meetings to learn more? Tell her you want her expert opinion. That's what turned my husband around.

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Hello,

I hope you are well. I have been a registered nurse for over 12 years and my Bariatric surgery will be in March. When I was in shape (all of my life except for 5 years ago), I used to think the same thing as your wife. 5 years ago I fell into a depression and gained over 100 pounds. I’ve been trying to get it off ever since. Now, I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, acid reflux and pre-diabetes. People in my family say I should not do the surgery. They say I can do it on my own. But as I said, I have been trying to lose the weight for 5 years and my health is actively declining. Should I wait until I am fully diabetic so I can meet the approval of my family? No. Obesity is one of the most unhealthy modifiable conditions you can have. Despite how widely accepted it is, it’s worse than smoking, drinking, and quite a few illegal drugs (arguably combined). It damages every organ. Fat puts pressure on your organs, making them secrete hormones that alter your ability think and function properly. I know your wife is concerned about the risks of surgery. But what about living long enough to go to your child’s wedding? What about being able to play with your child in the park? What about setting a healthful example for your child so the cycle does not continue (I come from an obese family so I know how hard it is to break free from bad Family eating habits)? I hope my comment helps.

Edited by Bari Babe

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Husband and I are both RN's. Hubby was against surgery... but he was simply afraid I would die during surgery. Nothing I could say would ease his fear. I simply insisted I am doing it and needed his support. He stayed with me in the hospital and made sure I was OK. In retrospect, he realizes I made the right choice and is proud that am doing so well. Find out what your wife is so afraid of. Then you can deal with it.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Isn't surgery covered by insurance?

And my RNY was the best choice ever.

I'm healthier now than I've been in 20yrs

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I would sleep with a eye open! But back to the facts - Whoever told her this is a scam is a fat person that could not afford it or stay on course.

As a male speaking from my own experience, you will shred the weight and most importantly you will be healthy and feel much better. This sounds cold and I am sure some females will jump down my ass about this, but this is your decision and her input is appreciated but irrelevant. Only you have to decide this - It is not her journey so why others stick there to sense into it is beyond me, and to threaten divorce!

Ask her nicely if she would wait to divorce you till you are thin, that way you are healthy and happy! That should get her attention!

Bottom line you make the decision but i can tell you that the members here have lost 5,210,466 pounds Look to the left at the bottom. So if WLS was a scam how did it get to 5 million plus pounds.

Congrads on the new baby and Is you wife large also? If so she may be jealous of the surgery and insecure of the procedure

Edited by AJ Tylo

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You are an individual.

Take care of yourself.

While I truly appreciate what marriage is supposed to mean (I really do), sometimes it appears some marriages are like cages, which is a difficult situation for people on both sides.

Good Luck 💚

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Hi Josh,

I have nothing of substance to contribute.

I hope your wife comes around.

Except I wish you luck!

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9 hours ago, AJ Tylo said:

I would sleep with a eye open! But back to the facts - Whoever told her this is a scam is a fat person that could not afford it or stay on course.

As a male speaking from my own experience, you will shred the weight and most importantly you will be healthy and feel much better. This sounds cold and I am sure some females will jump down my ass about this, but this is your decision and her input is appreciated but irrelevant. Only you have to decide this - It is not her journey so why others stick there to sense into it is beyond me, and to threaten divorce!

Ask her nicely if she would wait to divorce you till you are thin, that way you are healthy and happy! That should get her attention!

Bottom line you make the decision but i can tell you that the members here have lost 5,210,466 pounds Look to the left at the bottom. So if WLS was a scam how did it get to 5 million plus pounds.

Congrads on the new baby and Is you wife large also? If so she may be jealous of the surgery and insecure of the procedure

I kind of want to tell her my body my choice but that wouldn't go over so well. Although isn't that what women preach?

My wife isn't large. Never had a weight issue but shes put on a few since our first child.

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20 hours ago, momof3_angels said:

Husband and I are both RN's. Hubby was against surgery... but he was simply afraid I would die during surgery. Nothing I could say would ease his fear. I simply insisted I am doing it and needed his support. He stayed with me in the hospital and made sure I was OK. In retrospect, he realizes I made the right choice and is proud that am doing so well. Find out what your wife is so afraid of. Then you can deal with it.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

I dont think shes afraid of me dying. I asked her why she was against it and the only thing she could say was she doesnt want to have to deal with me eating weird food? Honestly if that's really her reason then I'll divorce her myself

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I think she's more than likely worried you'll get fit and healthy and confident and realize you don't deserve her crap anymore lol she's insecure mate

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