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How to choose a realistic goal weight

This sight has been such a help to me. I went through both of my other surgeries not having anyone to talk to. There is so much available now and this site is so helpful in setting up a plan for success.

I initially picked 160 as a goal because I just have not reached that weight for 25 years and it seemed like something I could achieve. Now, after reading about the success stories I think I should pick a weight that puts me in the normal BMI range. So, 145 would be more realistic. My other big goal is to not have a fatty liver. That really bugs me.

I felt my best at 135 which is where I was in high school and early 20s. I thought I should aim for 145 and see how I am. Have the liver test and see if it is healthy. If so, I would accept 145.

I am 62 and I know that I do not have a lot of wrinkles because of the extra volume in my face. My face is where I lose it first so I do not want to be a thin person. Just a healthy person.

So: How did you pick your goal? And, how do I edit my goal? Thanks!

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  • catwoman7
    catwoman7

    I originally said 199 and they said no problem (after being 300+ for years, 199 sounded like a pipe dream!). When I got down to around 220, I told them I wanted to aim for 170-180. They said as lon

  • I asked my Surgeon this question. His response surprised me. He said he doesn't care about the #'s. He says that your body can still be losing inches and not budge on the scale. He says He wants me to

  • ummyasmin
    ummyasmin

    I tell you what tho, except for here and a few select ppl, I'm not telling others what my goal is because I've had that many well-meaning ppl tell me it's too low even though it's literally the absolu

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I think I’m just crabby today.

well my dr and nutritionist set a goal weight of 210 said if i worked really hard i would get to 200 im at 195 this morning still am short of the one year mark and yes i do work very hard at this new life style and will continue to do so when you hit goal and feel if you have more to give i say go for it as long as you are choosing healthy and what is best for your body i have been on the wrong side of the charts my whole life im going on how i feel and how much i weigh at that time is were i will be goals are good just make sure they are achievable and realistic

I am only about 7 weeks out, but I spent a hell of a lot of time thinking about this one....

My current goal is 170 pounds. (I am 5'8")

I think I set my goal weight where I did for several reasons:

1. I lived at that weight, after losing the excess weight on my own through diet, for 5+ years a decade ago pre-surgery. I felt ok at that weight, at that time.

2. I think the old, fearing failure, "this #$*T will never work" me needs some security in setting a goal I can actually envision myself in right now. There is some comfort in knowing I CAN get there. Not sure my brain can handle the expectation of setting a lower goal yet. Kinda messed up, but honest. :( The fear of setting a goal I will possibly never achieve is really overwhelming, at least at this point in the game.

3. I look at this initial goal as a step, not a stop. Hopefully, as I become healthier in body, that fraidy, never gonna happen brain will start to catch up a little too. At that first goal met, I will see how/what I feel and adjust as needed.

So grateful for this tool that allows me to dare for and dream of more, even if a little at a time....

  • Author

I think my goal will be safe BMI. And I will wait and see how I feel and look when I hit that. Also, I do not want a fatty liver so that has to be normal too.

BMI IS VAGUE it doesn't take into account a person's frame or build even the doctor said Today surgery is only going take care of maybe 80% of excess weight and after that you may still be in overweight by BMI

Personally I'll be aiming for 200lbs or less which is pretty good for 6ft1 big built man.

My doctor and I discussed different weights I had been. When I lost 80 lbs. on Phentermine I got to 175, looked good, and felt like I couldn’t lose anymore. Since that is just st 5 lbs. away, now I feel like I could get to 150, my weight in my 20s, also achieved with diet pills. My surgeon is happy that I am now just overweight and not obese and was fine with either goal.
  • Author

I think my goal will be safe BMI. Thanks for the chart!

That would be about 150 for me. Also, a very big goal is getting a report that says I no longer have a fatty liver. That really, really bothers me. Livers and Kidneys are important and I want good "grades" for my organs.

Tomorrow, the interventionists are coming to my house. Those are friends who think I should not have surgery. They think I look just beautiful and fine and I should accept myself the way I am.

Now, I am going to explain that this is not about just wearing smaller clothes, it is about getting rid of the fat around and in my liver, getting healthy. Health is the reason I work so hard in the gym and walking. However, that is just not how they think. Its only about looks. I wish they could relate their illnesses to their weight and what they consume.

One of them is my shopping buddy who is 40 or 50 pounds overweight, has diabetes, smokes and almost lost her foot last year due to complications from PAD and diabetes. I love her and I spent a lot of time helping her during her recovery. I also want to do this for her, to show her by example, and not to be enabler for either of us. I won't go shopping with her, or eating out now. I think she is sad, and worried I won't be there for her.

There's no reason to let people into your house who want to challenge your decision about your health. They don't get a vote and they don't get to make you feel badly.

Edited by JessLess

11 hours ago, ValerieInMexico said:

I think my goal will be safe BMI. Thanks for the chart!

That would be about 150 for me. Also, a very big goal is getting a report that says I no longer have a fatty liver. That really, really bothers me. Livers and Kidneys are important and I want good "grades" for my organs.

Tomorrow, the interventionists are coming to my house. Those are friends who think I should not have surgery. They think I look just beautiful and fine and I should accept myself the way I am.

Now, I am going to explain that this is not about just wearing smaller clothes, it is about getting rid of the fat around and in my liver, getting healthy. Health is the reason I work so hard in the gym and walking. However, that is just not how they think. Its only about looks. I wish they could relate their illnesses to their weight and what they consume.

One of them is my shopping buddy who is 40 or 50 pounds overweight, has diabetes, smokes and almost lost her foot last year due to complications from PAD and diabetes. I love her and I spent a lot of time helping her during her recovery. I also want to do this for her, to show her by example, and not to be enabler for either of us. I won't go shopping with her, or eating out now. I think she is sad, and worried I won't be there for her.

This is awesome! You're a great friend!!

Yeah the chart is only meant to serve people who fit the chart. LOL. That's why I said in my post I'm just exceptionally average. So I'm one of the ones that this chart works for! :) And whether or not we like it, every bariatric surgeon in America uses the Ideal Weight formula to calculate their expected goal for you in your chart they submit to insurance. The equation is very simple and precise. And it's then used to calculate your goal by multiplying the difference by the 60-75% loss of EBW expected for the different surgeries.

The equation for Ideal Weight looks like this for women: 100lbs for the first 5 feet + 5lbs for every inch over 5 feet. (So for me at 5'4" my ideal weight is calculated to be 120lbs.)

The equation for estimating EBW (excess body weight) for women: Surgery Day Weight - Ideal Weight = EBW (So for me at 222 on surgery day, my EBW was 102lbs.)

I had RNY and they expected me to have a 65% weight loss of EBW: Surgery Day Weight - (EBW X 65%) = Surgeon's Target Goal for the charts (So for me it looked like this: 222 - (102 X 65%) = 156lbs Goal Weight from Surgeon and she rounded up to 160lbs. That's the goal officially in my chart. But she never once told me my goal weight. She asked me what MY goal weight was and tried to guide me when she felt I wasn't being realistic.

:)

Edited by FluffyChix

Started out at 235. My surgeon said I can safely expect to get to 160-170 by my one year anniversary. Pleasantly surprised us both when I got to the mid 160's at my 3 month post op checkup.

I had picked an ultimate personal goal of 120, for the only reason that it was in the middle-ish of the healthy BMI range for my height. I got to 127 at 7 months, and decided to stop as I felt I was getting to small.

Am at 9 months post op today and weighed in at 116.2 this morning.

Long story short, once you are on your "forever diet" I suspect our bodies decide what a realistic weight will be.

I think this is a good plan, it's hard to know what weight will end up being the most comfortable and sustainable, especially for us lovely mature ladies who hadn't seen a smaller number in many years. LOL I did find that I had to sacrifice a smoother face and neck for a healthier body but it was worth it. I like your rationale.

I tell you what tho, except for here and a few select ppl, I'm not telling others what my goal is because I've had that many well-meaning ppl tell me it's too low even though it's literally the absolute top of the "healthy" BMI.

TBH I think it says more about them and how overweight is the new normal these days.
"We support you in your weightloss but we don't want you to be not the fat one in our family/friend- group".
On 07/23/2019 at 19:13, ValerieInMexico said:



I think my goal will be safe BMI. Thanks for the chart!




That would be about 150 for me. Also, a very big goal is getting a report that says I no longer have a fatty liver. That really, really bothers me. Livers and Kidneys are important and I want good "grades" for my organs.




Tomorrow, the interventionists are coming to my house. Those are friends who think I should not have surgery. They think I look just beautiful and fine and I should accept myself the way I am.




Now, I am going to explain that this is not about just wearing smaller clothes, it is about getting rid of the fat around and in my liver, getting healthy. Health is the reason I work so hard in the gym and walking. However, that is just not how they think. Its only about looks. I wish they could relate their illnesses to their weight and what they consume.




One of them is my shopping buddy who is 40 or 50 pounds overweight, has diabetes, smokes and almost lost her foot last year due to complications from PAD and diabetes. I love her and I spent a lot of time helping her during her recovery. I also want to do this for her, to show her by example, and not to be enabler for either of us. I won't go shopping with her, or eating out now. I think she is sad, and worried I won't be there for her.


This passage really speaks to me.
I have one and only 1 good friend who isn’t at least obese and most of mine are in the “severe to morbidly obese” category.
For that reason, I really didn’t tell any of them about this until literally 2 weeks before surgery (the day I got my confirmation of date)
The only people I told ahead of time were my coworkers because I had to change out so many shifts due to all the the pre-op appointments and procedures (it took me almost 8 months from start to surgery day due to all the complications and additional testing that had to be done).

Quite simply, I just didn’t want to deal with these kinds of issues from telling my obese friends because this was my decision for my health and—to me— it was independent of my friendship with them.
Now I did let a lot of them know my surgery date so they wouldn’t get their feelings hurt that I’d done something so “risky” without letting them know to pray for/think of me that day.
I had mixed responses from “you aren’t unhealthy or even all that fat” to “what can I do for you right after surgery?”
Not gonna lie.... I don’t hang out with many of them as much as before because I don’t go out and eat really anymore. Also I think some of them don’t understand fully how I truly have lost most interest in food. How could they? They’ve not had their digestive tracts modified so they can’t know.
I think that eventually things will get more to a normal point, but I’m still not even 6 months post sleeve.

Anyway, I also had an extremely difficult time setting a goal and I’m not sure if the modified one I have is realistic or not.

Prior to starting this process I was willing to settle for being 175/size 14.
I’m 5’7”, 50 years old and have a fairly average frame (big-ish legs and thighs, but it is what it is)

For some reason, I always thought 175 was “the best I could ever hope for”

After I started into the 8 month process and did more research and talked to more people in support groups (I became a support group junkie) I realized that I was going to more than likely lose under 175 based off of the math for EBW loss and my weight then.
Right before surgery I changed my goal weight to 155, which is at the very upper range of “normal” BMI.
I basically chose that number because it put me right at the border of normal/overweight.

Now as I’ve progressed through these almost 6 months, I’m thinking I might want to shoot for 145. I was 135-ish all through high school and college (with one glorious semester when I ran a lot and got down to 125)

As of this morning, I’m at 177.6, so I absolutely know I’m going to blow way past goal #1.
In retrospect, I had gotten so used to being so fat for so long that it seemed ludicrous to initially choose a goal in a “normal” BMI, but you know what???? I’ve decided I’m worth taking the chance and going for the 145.

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