I had my one month post surgery checkup yesterday for my RNY and I'm so happy I did this!! ? My close friends and family have been super supportive and I'm lucky with that.

But I'm irked when someone says I didn't 'need' this surgery, and didn't need to do something this 'radical' to my body. I went into the WLS program with a BMI of 42, 100 pounds overweight and my BP was 164/116 at the start of the program. That's a hot mess.

I've been polite about it but what I really want to do is smile sweetly and say... 'I appreciate your opinion over there Bob, but zero f*cks are given over here ?'.

And is it me or is it always skinny people who say this?

Anyone have a polite but firm method of dealing?

Release your inner B.

Edited March 30, 20197 yr by GreenTealael

Never take advice from someone with absolutely no experience. If you haven't walked the WALK , do not be giving,me no TALK!!

14 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Release your inner B..

Love this!

I'm still pretending I haven't lost any weight when people say, "You look different, have you lost weight?" to avoid awkward conversations, but I've lost 50 now, so I won't be able to pretend much longer, but I'm going to keep blowing them off. Only my husband knows that I had WLS and it's going to stay that way.

1 hour ago, charlie2311 said:

And is it me or is it always skinny people who say this?

No, actually there are a lot of very defensive obese people who attack you in this manner, too.

For the rest of it, how about "I'm not sure how you have your foot in your mouth, head up your @ss, and nose in my business, yet here we are you effing wizard!"

(Paraphrased from a Facebook post ? )

?I'm gonna copy/pasta that facebook post and put that to Memory!! I also love how GradyCat is pretending she doesn't know what anyone's talking about!! That's fantastic!!

Congratulations on your success so far. Like you my blood pressure is a hot mess the main reason I've decided to have the surgery. My friend turns up her nose when talking about surgery. "This is her "l will never do that". Ironically she has always been over weight. Sometimes I feel Ike saying you do realize when we became friends I was skinny right and through out our friendship I always maintained my weight until I had my daughter.

Just ignore the haters, there are jealous people who does not know how to be happy for anyone.

It takes a courage to have weight loss surgery.

Haters gonna hate.

Agreed! It did take courage to have the surgery. I went through so much just to get the surgery, I was afraid that if I didn't do it, my life span was going to be significantly shortened with my out of control BP. That's what gets me, I did this for me, and I did this for my son so I'm around for him.

Attending group sessions and speaking to people post op I find those types of comments are directed towards women more than men. Quite a few women have brought out the comments during group sessions. Rarely do you hear of it being directed to men. Usually with guys it's "hey you're looking good what are doing or what's your secret, I need to try it." If a guy says he had WLS most people say "Wow, it sure makes a difference keep up the good work." Seldom do you hear much negativity towards men as you do women.

One woman in my group says that's because women are more critical of each other while guys really don't care. That is why boards like these are so important. We all need a place to go where we won't be judged for having WLS. Charlie laki maika'i

Yeah it's amazing how you lose friends after surgery but those are the ones who are in denial about their own weight issues and don't like being told when they are eating junk... Don't worry about them...

17 hours ago, charlie2311 said:

I had my one month post surgery checkup yesterday for my RNY and I'm so happy I did this!! ? My close friends and family have been super supportive and I'm lucky with that.

But I'm irked when someone says I didn't 'need' this surgery, and didn't need to do something this 'radical' to my body. I went into the WLS program with a BMI of 42, 100 pounds overweight and my BP was 164/116 at the start of the program. That's a hot mess.

I've been polite about it but what I really want to do is smile sweetly and say... 'I appreciate your opinion over there Bob, but zero f*cks are given over here ?'.

And is it me or is it always skinny people who say this?

Anyone have a polite but firm method of dealing?

Well, that sounds good to me. Do it.

You don't have to justify your personal decisions to anyone. You don't have to be the poster child for WLS awareness & education. It takes hours of energy, effort and time to educate ignorance. Just refuse to play it. Let em hate. And you can laugh all the way to the bank in your size 2 jeans.

Seconding FluffyChix, you are accountable to yourself, no one else for every -one and every journey is different. Just Do You!

You can’t fix stupid and I’ve come to believe you can’t fix rude either. ???
I have no idea how I’ll deal with this issue when it arises for me but I’m glad I’ve got all of your comments stored in my head ?

A true assessment from my own youth.
Beauty is skin- deep
Ugly ( and I believe rudeness also) goes through to the bone.
Those people do not hate you and your WLS struggles half as much as they hate themsekves, they are lashing out at someone they think weaker. Stay strong, Prove them Wrong!

I think people are uncomfortable with change and the success of others.