I had my one month post surgery checkup yesterday for my RNY and I'm so happy I did this!! ? My close friends and family have been super supportive and I'm lucky with that.

But I'm irked when someone says I didn't 'need' this surgery, and didn't need to do something this 'radical' to my body. I went into the WLS program with a BMI of 42, 100 pounds overweight and my BP was 164/116 at the start of the program. That's a hot mess.

I've been polite about it but what I really want to do is smile sweetly and say... 'I appreciate your opinion over there Bob, but zero f*cks are given over here ?'.

And is it me or is it always skinny people who say this?

Anyone have a polite but firm method of dealing?

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am getting ready for my surgery on 4/9. I've had so many people say "You aren't big enough to have that surgery" "You should just diet and excersize" "maybe you are eating more than you think" All these things come close to putting me into a fit of rage. I've been beyond serious. I've cut so much out of my diet and was in the gym 4-5 times a week, with very little movement on my scale. I am 37 years old. I have 4 kids, all boys all in sports...I want to be active with them. I don't want to wake up in pain and live in pain every day for the rest of my life. I dont want to chance my sleep apnea getting worse than it already is. I want my life back. These people have no clue what I've gone through already and what I am willing to continue to go through to be healthy again.

A living hug for you today, maybe a little ahead of your surgery, but still sincere. Only YOU can do YOU, each of us reacts a point where you fear major surgery less than continuing as you are. My trigger may, and probably was, different than yours but no less valid. May you have a wonderful surgery, may it give you many more years with your boys, may you see them grow up, establish their own family units, and may you have the joy of grand and great-grand children. And most of all, may God Bless YOU!❤

Don't let anyone get you down. It's your life. Your future. They are jealous and will be even more so when they see how happy and healthy you are!

Let them stay fat and unhealthy...

It seem people are insecure and jealous that WLS is an option to thos that need it. I am at 49.8 BMI. I am over 50 and have been dieting since to birth of my child 15 years ago. My ex-husband would not support the idea of WLS and of course he is tall and skinny and never been a pound over weight. My we ex-M-I-L was slightly overweight and she gave her negative opinion. Her suggestion was not to over eat. Which made me mad in return, because I didn't over eat. I had a thyroidectomy shortly after giving birth and I have since then always had issues getting the weight off. Now I am no longer married and I made an appointment with the support of my mother and siblings. (Which all but two have had WLS). And I am excited and looking forward to it. I have realized no one's opinion matters except my own and that of my physician's.

I know this is probably the wrong thing to do but I just haven't been telling anyone but people that are really close to me. If I were to begin telling people and someone were to tell me I didn't have to do it I would probably just tell them that my doctor recommended it and they know best.

Now I know what to say!

I’m lucky, I mostly work from home so haven’t had to deal so much. Or, with the few I had told and have spoken to since, they gathered it was a done deal, good choice and (ultimately) none of their motherforking business...in a nice way [emoji846]

Most have just been fascinated by what it was all about in practice and throw in the metabolic, hunger hormone, and microbiome headlines that highlight there’s more to this than calories in and out and this particular path out of the weight gain/regain jungle was mine.

Ppl keep telling me I need to stop losing weight I’m getting too small. I’m still in the 200s (just 7lbs to 199) so clearly they have no idea what they are talking about. I simply tell them to mind the business that pays them. And since I’m not paying them they should stop minding my business. All with a smile.

I am hoping my insurance approves for a June surgery. At first I didn’t want to tell anyone but my support team consisting of one of my best friends, my children and their spouses. But as I get closer I finally told people at work. We are a small office and my absence will affect them. I have only had 2 people be negative or “change” toward me. Those were my mother and my other best friend respectfully. I am not sure how I will handle the negativity when it comes. I’m 50 and single and the thought of dating scares me more.

I'm really sorry that everyone has this happen to them in someway and am sure mine is coming. Thank you all for sharing and being such strong women. You are all an inspiration.

I'm still dealing with the " Are you sick" comments. Or what happened to you, comments. I'm getting better with answering. I just say I'm eating healthy and exercising more. Some people are really persistent and nosey. I then throw their questions back at them. Are you sick? What happened to you? Some people actually got mad when I said that. Well now, how do you think I feel!