I am curious as to how many members on here have been obese since childhood, just since adulthood, or just for the past handful of years. How do you think that has shaped your expectations of surgery and your body image?

I have only been obese for about 8 years. In my FB group, a lot of the women struggle with getting down to a smaller size because they aren't used to the compliments or they feel uncomfortable. I was "warned" prior to surgery that my brain won't catch up to my body size for a while. I have the opposite issue. I MISS the attention from men. My brain still sees me as skinny, so when I walk past a mirror I am shocked at my large size. I think that has played a huge role in my disappointment in the surgery and my unrealistic expectation that I should lose 50lbs a month. LOL. I am SO ready to be the me I know and miss, and losing "just" 70lbs isn't as big of an accomplishment as others may see it as. I will be proud when I accomplish that final plateau and settle into a size that my brain recognizes. I know this is a very different perspective than those that have been heavy since childhood, for example. Would love to have a dialogue about these differences and expectations.

I was a chubby kid but my mum had (still has) an eating disorder and is stick thin. I sometimes wonder if I subconsciously put on weight as a kid because my mum wouldn't. Who knows. I have never not felt conscious of my size, even though as a child and teen I was "just" overweight, not obese.

I remember when I was young, maybe 6 or 7, my dad telling me that I couldn't wear frilly things because we (me and his side of the family) were not built for those types of clothes (when I got married it was frills to the max. I looked like a frilly merangue). My mum took me to Weight Watchers when I was twelve and all through my teens. I actually got down to a normal weight at age 15-16, but because of my body dysmorphia I just couldn't see it.

My most mortifying moment in school was when an idiot drama teacher had us all sit in a circle and we were supposed to call ourselves by the thing we hated most about ourselves, so when it was my turn I summoned up the courage and said "Miss Big". He said "big what?" so I repeated myself. He again asked "big what?" I couldn't fathom why he didn't understand. I was dying here, as being big was the thing I've always detested bout myself and saying it outloud to other people, TEENAGE GIRLS at that was panic - inducing.

So, after a pause I thought I need to say something so I said "err.. Miss Big gap in my teeth" (I have a small gap between my two front teeth which doesn't bother me in the slightest) so he thought I was taking the piss and I got in trouble.

Oh the shame! Looking back, I couldn't see I wasn't big but when you are constantly told you're overweight by an anorexic mother, what chance did I have?

So I put it all back on and in spades, especially in my early twenties. By getting married (met hubs on Internet) I think I was about 125 kilos. My husband has never known me as other than morbidly obese. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be a normal sized person, but I'm keen to find out!!

I've been big since I was a child. 7st 7yr old 10st 10 year old, but lived life in spite of it. Was never inactive by any stretch of imagination, but puberty coincided with starting judo (10yrs), and playing club hockey. Slimmed to 10.5st 5'2" 15yr old.

Always got called or treated like I was fat sometimes. Crushed me when someone that mattered did it or was done in front of someone like that, but mainly ploughed through and became very good at jobs while still avoiding teambuilding paintball, golf or clubbing type stuff. Generally didn't do party clothes and parties.

Actually had benefits. I was the curiously confident big woman who knew her technical stuff, could write incredibly well, and inflienc decision makers. I got judged, more generously (ironically), than traditionally shaped attractive women in my overwhelmingly male dominated field BECAUSE I was an anomaly.

Felt attractive when confident and fat when not. Did the shocked at unmatched image in Windows thing, and inability to fit through gaps in restaurants despite head telling me I was narrow enough, but all within bounds of considering myself 'big'...because I had never been anything else.

Big ramp up to morbid obesity since DD2 9yrs ago and working from home more (blessing and curse). Hit me fully and destroyed ability to put on the game face when I became constantly mortified at overlapping train and airline seats, hearing grumbles when folks had to sit next to me. I also couldn't attend or speak at industry events without getting red and flop sweating (part unfitness, part heat at all such events, part spiralling anxiety at sweating, knowing how bad a visual fat woman sweating is, then sweating more).

When I became a virtual recluse and depression/anxiety threated my livelihood and arthritis started in knees cos of both weight and apparent early menopause (42), enough was enough.

Actually since I was a baby, Mama's Doctor( this was the Late 40s) told her to feed me Carnation evaporated milk formula post every nursing, my parents were Depression survivors, never questioned Doctor's Advice, in those days it was believed " Fat Babies are Healthy Babies" well I grew and grew and grew, on my First Birthday I was 35 inches tall, weighed 36 pounds, that's the size the average American Toddler is at 2 and half years. BUT I HAD dimples in both sets of cheeks, knees, elbows,if ever a child was groomed to be obrse, that's ME. My little t- shirts instead of "Born to be Wild" should have read "Born to be Fat"

On 2/5/2019 at 6:31 AM, mousecat88 said:

I am curious as to how many members on here have been obese since childhood, just since adulthood, or just for the past handful of years. How do you think that has shaped your expectations of surgery and your body image?

I have only been obese for about 8 years. In my FB group, a lot of the women struggle with getting down to a smaller size because they aren't used to the compliments or they feel uncomfortable. I was "warned" prior to surgery that my brain won't catch up to my body size for a while. I have the opposite issue. I MISS the attention from men. My brain still sees me as skinny, so when I walk past a mirror I am shocked at my large size. I think that has played a huge role in my disappointment in the surgery and my unrealistic expectation that I should lose 50lbs a month. LOL. I am SO ready to be the me I know and miss, and losing "just" 70lbs isn't as big of an accomplishment as others may see it as. I will be proud when I accomplish that final plateau and settle into a size that my brain recognizes. I know this is a very different perspective than those that have been heavy since childhood, for example. Would love to have a dialogue about these differences and expectations.

Well that's a hard one I never really looked at myself hard enough when I was a kid but I think I started to get cuddly from about 12; got bigger through high school but don't think I actually hit OBESE until I was at least 21? So I guess to be frank my weight issues have been around 20 years, it's weird because if I look at 'elementary photos up to 10 I was a skinny little runt but then around the time of puberty it all went down hill year by year but yeah obesity probably from adulthood until now I'll be 35 this year when I get my RNY BYPASS. I did have one year "2012" I managed to get down to 200 lbs and life was great, had more female attention in a few months than I ever had in my life prior but life happens and put most of my weight back on a few years later and now I'm at 317; finally I'm back mentally in a good spot and really committed to getting surgery this year and starting a new life!!

I was very healthy and fit in my youth and teenage years. (Even though I thought I was fat) I got married at 22 and steadily gained weight. When I was 26 I was diagnosed with PCOS which makes gaining weight super easy. Then I had two kids within two years and it's just gotten worse. I have been in the 300's for more than 10 years. But come March 11 (surgery date!!!!) I get to change my life!!!!

I was thin as a kid (actually skinny). I was in really good shape through my teenage years and into my 20's. I even worked as a personal trainer for a while. I gained a little weight when I got into my later twenties and started working long hours at a desk job. I got up to about 210 when I was 28 (I am 45 now), but took right off on a low carb, high exercise diet and kept it off until I got married when I was 32. After I got married, the weight crept on. I was back up to around 210 on my wedding day and 220 within the next year. 230 by the end of the following year and then things started getting out of hand when I was in the 240. I could take some of the weight off with diet and exercise by never more than 15 pounds. Each time I dropped weight, I would gain it back with a little to spare--yo yo dieting. That killed my metabolism. About 4 years ago I was up close to 265 and went on a major low calorie diet and got down to 217 in about 3 months. About 6 months later I was back up to 255 (probably higher since I stopped weighing myself since I was so disgusted). In February 2018, I was diagnosed with T2DM and had lots of other fun co-morbidities. That was the kick in the pants I needed to start down the WLS path. I am 2 months post up and my BMI is now around 28, so I am no longer obese. In total, I was obese for at least 12 years and morbidly obese for probably 4 or 5 or those years. Having a VSG is best decision I ever made!!!! I can actually look in the mirror and really smile again!!!

I started gaining weight in 3rd grade and by the next year, I was officially overweight. I was teased by all the boys and having a name that rhymed with fat didn’t help. In my mind’s eye, I think I am “just a little chubby” vs. the reality of being morbidly obese. I try to avoid full length photos (shoulders and above only, please) as well as full length mirrors.

My surgery is 3 weeks from today and I’m starting to get super nervous but also looking forward to saying good bye to “Fatty Patti “.

I started gaining weight in 3rd grade and by the next year, I was officially overweight. I was teased by all the boys and having a name that rhymed with fat didn’t help. In my mind’s eye, I think I am “just a little chubby” vs. the reality of being morbidly obese. I try to avoid full length photos (shoulders and above only, please) as well as full length mirrors.
My surgery is 3 weeks from today and I’m starting to get super nervous but also looking forward to saying good bye to “Fatty Patti “.

I understand. I have been overweight since I was 2 years old. At 13 I weighed 160 lbs. 18 I weighed 180 lbs. At 20 yrs old I was 220 lbs on my wedding day. Before the surgery I weighed 337 lbs. After 1 week of the surgery I now weigh 317. This was best decision I made in my entire life. I'm so glad I got it done. Thank God.

I remember being in 5th grade and it was time to get weighed. The nurse was weighing all kids in the cafeteria, and we were all lined up. She new I would be embarrassed to weigh in front of people so she took me to the nurses office. I distinctly remember weighing 189 pounds already in the 5th grade. For the rest of my life, my weight has fluctuated between 180-240. I even played high school and college soccer. I love to workout and I was super fit, yet I was still "obese' according to my BMI. Because of how much I worked out, I was always much smaller than I looked. Anyhow, so to answer your question, I have always been obese, or at least since I can remember. Funny enough though, when I was playing soccer in college, I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now yet 2 sizes smaller. It is amazing how weightlifting and exercise can shape your body!

I became obese after my second child at 25. I miss my smaller self and that is the person I recognize. Even though my body would get bigger my face had remained the same. 5 years ago my face left me and has been swallowed up by another face. It has been a difficult change. I have shut out old friends because I don't want them to see what I have turned into. Just joined today and I couldn't bring myself to post my own pic. Maybe after I can post a before/after pic I will feel more comfortable. I am hoping that by the beginning of July I can have surgery.

After having baby #3 13 months after baby #2. I got on the Depo shot and my weight never went down. I was at 180. I stayed the same after baby #4 and #5. Then I slowly started gaining weight. I got up to 265. Had surgery about 12 weeks ago. I'm down to 220. That would never have happened with out surgery. I'm going to the gym now too! Never would have been motivated to go to the gym before, especially at that weight.

On 02/04/2019 at 14:01, mousecat88 said:

I am curious as to how many members on here have been obese since childhood, just since adulthood, or just for the past handful of years. How do you think that has shaped your expectations of surgery and your body image?

I have only been obese for about 8 years. In my FB group, a lot of the women struggle with getting down to a smaller size because they aren't used to the compliments or they feel uncomfortable. I was "warned" prior to surgery that my brain won't catch up to my body size for a while. I have the opposite issue. I MISS the attention from men. My brain still sees me as skinny, so when I walk past a mirror I am shocked at my large size. I think that has played a huge role in my disappointment in the surgery and my unrealistic expectation that I should lose 50lbs a month. LOL. I am SO ready to be the me I know and miss, and losing "just" 70lbs isn't as big of an accomplishment as others may see it as. I will be proud when I accomplish that final plateau and settle into a size that my brain recognizes. I know this is a very different perspective than those that have been heavy since childhood, for example. Would love to have a dialogue about these differences and expectations.

I have been obese for about 10 years....now that I have lost 81 pounds..22 more to go to get to my goal...when I look st myself in pictures, I still see myself as not “thin”. I realized that this Valentines Day when my husband and I took some pictures before going out. My sisters all said that I look great etc but when I looked at the pics all I can see is that I still have big legs.
Body dismorphia I don’t know but it’s very real feeling and view of how I see myself when I look at my pics. When I look at pre surgery pics I can see how much larger I was but for some reason it doesn’t translate when I look at the new pics I take.

On 2/15/2019 at 4:13 PM, SteveT74 said:

I was thin as a kid (actually skinny). I was in really good shape through my teenage years and into my 20's. I even worked as a personal trainer for a while. I gained a little weight when I got into my later twenties and started working long hours at a desk job. I got up to about 210 when I was 28 (I am 45 now), but took right off on a low carb, high exercise diet and kept it off until I got married when I was 32. After I got married, the weight crept on. I was back up to around 210 on my wedding day and 220 within the next year. 230 by the end of the following year and then things started getting out of hand when I was in the 240. I could take some of the weight off with diet and exercise by never more than 15 pounds. Each time I dropped weight, I would gain it back with a little to spare--yo yo dieting. That killed my metabolism. About 4 years ago I was up close to 265 and went on a major low calorie diet and got down to 217 in about 3 months. About 6 months later I was back up to 255 (probably higher since I stopped weighing myself since I was so disgusted). In February 2018, I was diagnosed with T2DM and had lots of other fun co-morbidities. That was the kick in the pants I needed to start down the WLS path. I am 2 months post up and my BMI is now around 28, so I am no longer obese. In total, I was obese for at least 12 years and morbidly obese for probably 4 or 5 or those years. Having a VSG is best decision I ever made!!!! I can actually look in the mirror and really smile again!!!

I have a very similar story, Steve. I was underweight as a kid and all the way through HS and college. I was a competitive swimmer as a teenager. I weighed 120 pounds when I joined the Army and then bulked up (in a good way--I gained muscle). At 30 I became a lawyer, and that's when it hit. I had always been able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight, and it's almost like it changed overnight. I gained 100 pounds in just a few years.

I'm now 59 and have yo-yo dieted for the last 30 years--half my life. Like MouseCat, I still think of myself as thin, and I'm always a little bit stunned when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or see photos. I also still think I can do more physically than I can at this size--and I can't wait until I'm back at the point where I can lead an active lifestyle again.