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53 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

@GreenTealael ... so excited that you un-friend zoned, and got boo'd up!

Now we just need to get @redhead_che a cardio partner, and then all of our regular participants will hopefully be getting their workouts in!

So, my boo'd up situation has a couple of milestone coming up. First family meet will be this weekend. Not Thanksgiving, he has his own family commitments, but we're going to a hockey game with my cousin and his wife. And we have our first weekend getaway booked for January. So, yay! :D

Topic for discussion .... may have hit a bump in the road ....

What are your thoughts of when in a committed relationship, having each other's phone pass codes?

Some personal background.

I have been cheated on in multiple relationships. The last one really pushed me over the edge. He lived a for real double life, extreme cheating, and very potentially a sexual addiction. Since I'm busy, travel so much, and appreciate my freedom, I've never been one to validate my partner is where they say they are, doing what they say they are doing etc. But his whole double life was right there on his phone, and if I had simply seen that, it would have saved me a world of hurt and humiliation. So, that is why it is important in any future relationships that we have each other's pass codes. Not to check necessarily, but to know that I could. I know that someone determined to cheat, will still cheat, but it's just a tiny bit of peace of mind.

So, I bring this up to new boo, as something I'll need in the future, if things continue to progress between us. He's a way above average communicator, and emotionally mature, so this type of convo wasn't weird. He was pretty taken aback at my request. He said it made him a little uncomfortable and he'd have to think on it. So that honestly worries me a little bit, even though he has never given me any signs I should doubt him. Rational me says trust until given reason not to, but I have been badly burned by doing that ....

Love to hear opinions ....

This is a tough one. I hope someone with more experience has a good answer for you ❤

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11 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

This is a tough one. I hope someone with more experience has a good answer for you ❤

Who cares about experience ... I need opinions! :P

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9 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Ok tell him don't think too long about it...

Uh oh, too late ... I already gave the pass that we can figure this out when the time comes ....

I just don't think this is an unreasonable request. And his reaction surprised me .... makes me go hmmm

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@sillykitty I'm proud of you for broaching the subject. It obviously means a lot to you. Just don't rush him into it. Give him time to adjust to the idea. Now he knows that's one of the steps on the commitment path.

@Biddy zz Congrats! Hitting a milestone always matters! That's awesome!

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3 hours ago, sillykitty said:

Uh oh, too late ... I already gave the pass that we can figure this out when the time comes ....

I just don't think this is an unreasonable request. And his reaction surprised me .... makes me go hmmm

Sooo,

I asked a ton of people and got some surprising responses. Most people believe that over time these things can be revealed as comfort levels and familiarity increase. The consensus is that cell phones are like vaults for A LOT of information, not just potential infidelity, and people are wary to share that so soon.

Hope that helps provide some insight on his reaction!

Edited by GreenTealael

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Uh oh, too late ... I already gave the pass that we can figure this out when the time comes ....
I just don't think this is an unreasonable request. And his reaction surprised me .... makes me go hmmm
He might feel like it's a parent wanting their kid's pass code. I know if he has yours that's fair enough, but noone wants to feel like they're being watched to make sure they don't trip up.

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

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1 minute ago, GreenTealael said:

Hey everyone! Who is fasting up until main meal time or just taking the day off?

Cornbread just came out of the oven .... it HAS to be quality checked before I feed it to the family ... no?

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3 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

Cornbread just came out of the oven .... it HAS to be quality checked before I feed it to the family ... no?

I support quality control methods lol

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😝😝😝🍞ROFLMAO

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Thanks for all the feedback on the pass code situation. Too funny you took a survey @GreenTealael :lol:

I think my take away is I'm gong to wait and see, and not worry about it until the time comes. Hopefully by that point he'll see I'm not a controlling person, and he can be comfortable with the idea. I think I was more surprised he was taken so aback by it. He has been very open up to this point, even leaving me his key to get into his place if I arrived before he did, starting on our 5-6th date. I just doubt my instincts at this point. I mean he seems like a good guy, but I've been wrong before. Take away ... relationships are hard! (But still better than being the cat lady :lol:)

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2 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

Thanks for all the feedback on the pass code situation. Too funny you took a survey @GreenTealael :lol:

I think my take away is I'm gong to wait and see, and not worry about it until the time comes. Hopefully by that point he'll see I'm not a controlling person, and he can be comfortable with the idea. I think I was more surprised he was taken so aback by it. He has been very open up to this point, even leaving me his key to get into his place if I arrived before he did, starting on our 5-6th date. I just doubt my instincts at this point. I mean he seems like a good guy, but I've been wrong before. Take away ... relationships are hard! (But still better than being the cat lady :lol:)

Agreed.

I was very discreet about the survey, but people just seemed to want a little bit of privacy in a world where your info is constantly for sale.

Edited by GreenTealael

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What's everyone's Thanksgiving plans?

Casa SK is turning out baked goods in the predawn hours, cornbread and cheddar biscuits. Then will go over to my mom's house. I cook, she hosts, since she has the bigger house, but I am the better cook. :P

It will be a very traditional spread, turkey, stuffing, mash, green Beans, etc. Nothing at all bariatric about it. Will be hosting the extended family plus a few friends, about 20 peeps total. Making a few compromises this year because of how busy I've been coming up to the holiday. Pies have been purchased, instead of me making them. Kind of kills me, but I didn't have the time or energy to get them done this year. My mom begged me to let her buy costco premade mashed potatoes. She tells me they taste as good as mine and don't require peeling 20 lbs of potatoes :lol:. We'll see ...

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2 hours ago, sillykitty said:

Cornbread just came out of the oven .... it HAS to be quality checked before I feed it to the family ... no?

How noble of you! Sacrificing for the sake of family 😂

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