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3 years, one hell of a journey!
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Hey all!
I wanted to post and update my progress and share my journey for newcomers.
I’m three years out of VSG surgery, start weight 240 lbs at 5’6.
My lowest weight after surgery was 114. Scary scary thin. After my surgery I could barely eat for an entire year and had malnutrition and many mental and physical barriers to overcome before I began eating again. It took a year to get my stomach straightened out to where I could eat solid food, and another two years to get my mind straightened out to where I was eating enough food.
Surgery like this is a big deal, easier for some, harder for others. Because we are a population that struggles with disordered eating behavior and many of us eating disorders, it’s hard to predict how it might affect you. For me, it leveled my life for awhile- but intimately put me into a better place.
My life before surgery consisted of constant dieting and deprivation with periods of intense binging on thousands and thousands of calories when I failed on the numerous diets I tried. Surgery was for me a last resort that I believed would stop this cycle and make me effortlessly thin forever or really just take away my ability to eat, because eating was a huge source of emotional pain.
Here I am at my lowest weight.
That’s some scary ****! I went through some very dark times after surgery that forced me to get super real about what I needed to be happy and healthy.
This past year I’ve been consistently rebuilding my health. I began doing this by saying no to dieting and calorie control. No counting, no obsessing, no weighing myself. My life now three years out consists of taking care of my health in a more holistic way. I eat in abundance, and I’ve recently began to be super inspired towards fitness and weight training. My calories average around 2500 per day although I don’t know exactly as I don’t count them. I’ve been able to go a lot of time without reading a food label or thinking too much about what I eat.
For me at this point weight has become something that I fight to be at peace with. I try to keep my mind off numbers and I’m focused on just feeling great and strong in my skin. I no longer believe being super thin is the path to happiness. Being able to eat and enjoy food, socialize without worry about food, and be in a healthy body is more important to me. My weight will always be secondary to those things.
I’m posting this to give you an idea of what’s possible long term. Surgery is a great tool in some ways but it comes at a high cost. It’s taken me years to rebuild my health and I’m still trying to get my metabolism and muscle mass back to wear it should be. But even without surgery I would have faced a hard road and surgery gave me the push I needed.
These days I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time and also I think, healthier.
Best wishes on your journey! And remember- you are beautiful right now. Weight doesn’t determine a persons beauty or worth!!!