I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I have told some and there are some I will not be telling. It took me a little while to not feel like guilty. I haven't been sleeved yet but I have been making it clear that I've started an "intense diet" with a new doctor and it's going to be great (kinda hyping it up lol). If anyone asks I will go that way "strict diet, lots of shakes and protein, exercise and under doctor supervision, etc".

I told some people at first, kept it from others, and at 9 months out, I'm still picky about who I tell. My family knows and for the most part have been wonderful. Most of my friends have also been great. The problem for me has been the people at work. I've gained and lost so many times that I know some of them are waiting for me to fail. Some are genuinely happy that I'm losing while others are gossips. Some I tell and ask to keep it to themselves while others I just say I eat mainly protein and veggies. But, I know people talk. I've had the stupid comments made to me, too. I've been gossiped about by people who haven't gotten the story from me. That's life.

I'm very private, I told a close friend and haven't heard from her before my surgery, no support at all. I will keep to myself like everything. If people ask I won't lie but I'm not going to advertise the surgery. Unless you have been in this situation I feel people don't really understand. Each to themselves on how they handle the news.

Well...I'm on these message boards..so it can't be too much of a secret. I've mostly only told one of my co-workers and my husband. I certainly don't want everyone to know! I think I read a research article talking about how people negatively view fat people, and that they keep those same negative feelings if a person is normal weight but had weight loss surgery. I want all the social benefits possible, so I'm not telling anyone!

On 4/16/2017 at 5:06 PM, Jamocoa said:

My Mom, sister and two good friends know. But I haven't even told my husband. I'm going to tell him tonight. "I think" I know he's going to try and talk me out of it. But I need the help. I've tried everything. I've gotten bigger and bigger. I'm in so much pain. I'm doing this for my health do his opinion doesn't matter. I wouldn't tell him at all if it wasn't for the overnight stay in the hospital

Stay strong, but try to be honest. I don't know what your situation is, but I know I will need his help post op and there is no way to miss the incision scars....My husband is pretty dead set against it, but I'm just keeping on with my appointments and pre-op diet and praying I will do well and he will come around.

Stay strong, but try to be honest. I don't know what your situation is, but I know I will need his help post op and there is no way to miss the incision scars....My husband is pretty dead set against it, but I'm just keeping on with my appointments and pre-op diet and praying I will do well and he will come around.

Thank you. I told him. He was supportive, surprisingly.. I was supposed to have my surgery 4/18.. it got postponed until 4/ 25..

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I think it is more a problem for men than women, after all something like 80% of surgeries are on women. I am extremely private about it. My wife knew from the beginning, of course. I didn't even want to tell my 22year old kids, my immediate family nor in laws. This is despite the fact that my sister had sleeve surgery and not much said. I told my kids and family. I told her she could tell her family.

This is by far the most radical thing I have ever done. I not just talking about medically, it probably is for most of us. I mean of anything. I haven't climbed K2, hiked the amazon, etc. About the most exotic thing I do is go the Canada on a fishing trip! I am so seriously average middle aged white I am the poster child. I really don't want the judgement from people that do not understand what is involved. Seriously, even judgement from those that are big and understand the diet thing. It has been embarrassing enough from the medical community getting ready for it. I have had two doctors say "YOU'RE having surgery?" I have to tell them I have five of the six preconditions so medically it is the best option. They usually say "You carry your weight well." My pancreases would disagree!

As for my co-workers, it is none of their business. My bosses will not know either. I have told them I am having surgery. That is it. They can't ask me about it. When I come back I will say I am back on the my low carb diet and it will probably be a non-issue.

Having said all if that I am more private than most.

I kept mine a secret until I got home. I work with the public and everyone has an opinion. ? Especially about going to Mexico. Now that I'm home I tell everyone lol. They see that I'm doing well- and they can't really argue with results!

I've told my family and many of my friends, a few too many. My family has been surprisingly supportive, not questioning my decision. A woman who I considered my best friend dumped me after I told her. We both struggled with our weight and she is about 70 lbs heavier than me. We went to weight watchers together every Sunday but once I told her I was going forward with the surgery she's had nothing to do with me.

Some people just don't like to see others succeed in life. And some things aren't meant to be shared, even with best friends. Keep your head up high and celebrate every pound lost.

Thank you for the kind words Diva58

I kept mine a secret until I got home. I work with the public and everyone has an opinion. ? Especially about going to Mexico. Now that I'm home I tell everyone lol. They see that I'm doing well- and they can't really argue with results!

See, that was my intentions. But my sister told so many people. I got so many phone calls from friends and family wanting to know how I'm doing. My surgery has been postponed so I haven't had it yet.

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I'm pre-op for VSG July 2017 sometime. I've been obese most of my life as well, along with severe Scoliosis (from childhood). I have told ONLY those few family members that "need to know". I'm keeping it my secret. I too have been thinking what to say to people when they see me later on. I feel that what I choose to do with my body is my business. I'm thinking I'm just going with "I cut out the junk food and watched my portions." Or, "I took control of my life for my future health." I don't want to have to explain "my story" to everyone who notices I've lost weight. I hope to just be appreciative of the compliments and say my thanks.

Brightest Blessings to all on this path!

I went ahead and told everyone. I think it is a very personal decision. The funny thing is that since telling people 4 of my friends who had lost weight told me they had had surgery. They have been great about giving me advice and helping me. When they were loosing weight, I never thought about surgery. I just thought they finally found something that works and they did. One friend told me she ate very little and frequently during the day, it was true. There was no need to tell me it was due to surgery. Some friends say they would have admitted having surgery, had I asked. Others said they would not have. It is what makes you comfortable. Best of luck on your journey. I am just starting mine.

I'm losing weight super slowly so nobody's really asking questions, but my plan was to tell fellow fat people looking for a solution--after all it was my hairdresser's honesty about her surgery that lead me to learn how effective and life changing it is--but for the average joe, just say I changed my lifestyle. Which is 100% true.

I realize doing that contributes to the myth among the never-obese that ~drastic permanent weight loss is totally possible if u just try hard enough~ but it's not my personal responsibility to combat that, especially knowing having to argue it over and over again with every joe on the street would be a huge time and energy suck. The information is out there, and if people refuse to take it in, that's on them, not me.

But yes, I do plan on being honest with other people who could use the surgery to make their lives better. I want to share this feeling of hope and possibility with others as it was shared with me!