I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

On 2017-04-16 at 11:26 AM, Dtrain84 said:

I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

Only my husband knows about me & not even my mother . We have 2 little kids, so I didn't need to tell them. I didn't have a real high BMI to start and people were already used to my Yo Yo dieting, so no one really says much.

I have been thinking about having the VSG done for almost 2 years now. My dad had the procedure done in May of 2015 at 74 years old and has totally rocked it out! He's lost almost 130 pounds and feels fantastic. So he and my mom are definitely a HUGE support for me. Last year I told my husband I was considering it and he was less than supportive. He thinks I won't be successful because I haven't had success with mainstream diets, and in his mind that means that I have been a failure or a quitter, or I just haven't "tried hard enough". He's had his own weight struggles, and has gained and lost many pounds many times, so you'd think he'd be understanding. Regardless of how he feels, I have been meeting with my FNP for the past few months and just had my first appointment with the surgeon who did my dad's sleeve. They both feel I'm a great candidate and I'm ready, so I'm going ahead with it. I have a couple of close friends who are very supportive, so that's a good thing. Another friend I told gave me the whole "are you sure you want to do this?" spiel, but honestly I don't care what she thinks. She has never struggled with obesity and has no clue. Other than my parents and maybe 4 friends, I haven't told anyone else. I kind of dread telling my husband, but will do so when I have all my ducks in a row. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.

Edited June 10, 20179 yr by Pink Wonder

1 hour ago, Pink Wonder said:

I have been thinking about having the VSG done for almost 2 years now. My dad had the procedure done in May of 2015 at 74 years old and has totally rocked it out! He's lost almost 130 pounds and feels fantastic. So he and my mom are definitely a HUGE support for me. Last year I told my husband I was considering it and he was less than supportive. He thinks I won't be successful because I haven't had success with mainstream diets, and in his mind that means that I have been a failure or a quitter, or I just haven't "tried hard enough". He's had his own weight struggles, and has gained and lost many pounds many times, so you'd think he'd be understanding. Regardless of how he feels, I have been meeting with my FNP for the past few months and just had my first appointment with the surgeon who did my dad's sleeve. They both feel I'm a great candidate and I'm ready, so I'm going ahead with it. I have a couple of close friends who are very supportive, so that's a good thing. Another friend I told gave me the whole "are you sure you want to do this?" spiel, but honestly I don't care what she thinks. She has never struggled with obesity and has no clue. Other than my parents and maybe 4 friends, I haven't told anyone else. I kind of dread telling my husband, but will do so when I have all my ducks in a row. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck to you! If there's one thing I'm sick and tired of, it's the assumption that we're obese because we're weak-willed and just don't "try hard enough". The massive rate of failure of traditional diets ought to tell people something about this issue . . . I put myself through college, working part-time while taking a heavy enough schedule to earn two BA's in four years. I quit smoking. I've been on my own my entire adult life. I had and beat cancer. I don't think there's a lot of other evidence to support my being "weak-willed." The idea that I will FINALLY have the tool I need to make this work fills me with joy. I don't owe apologies or shame to anyone! And neither do any one of you . . .

4 hours ago, XYZXYZXYZ1955 said:

Good luck to you! If there's one thing I'm sick and tired of, it's the assumption that we're obese because we're weak-willed and just don't "try hard enough". The massive rate of failure of traditional diets ought to tell people something about this issue . . . I put myself through college, working part-time while taking a heavy enough schedule to earn two BA's in four years. I quit smoking. I've been on my own my entire adult life. I had and beat cancer. I don't think there's a lot of other evidence to support my being "weak-willed." The idea that I will FINALLY have the tool I need to make this work fills me with joy. I don't owe apologies or shame to anyone! And neither do any one of you . . .

Yes! Exactly! Eleven years ago I started my own clothing boutique, and three years ago I opened a home decor and gift store. I work hard and am pretty successful, and I resent being considered a failure just because I have a weight issue. Like you, I am thrilled to have a tool that will assist me in reaching my health and weight goals. With all you've been through and have accomplished, you are an inspiration! I wish you all the best in your journey! ❤

Hello, from the time i decided to get gastric Bypass to the surgery date was 1 month. I went to Mexico alone and had it done. Only a few really close friends knew about it and was not happy with me doing it. But my mind was made up and did it. Of course now they think this was awesome that i did it! Most all the people i know does not know i had RNY but last week i decided on my 6 month post op and i wanted to post before and after pic. but i knew people would start asking and wanting to know what i did. Do i say or not!. I decided to come out and share i did RNY. My hope in confessing was to inspire someone else like me who i know that might need to be encouraged. As it turned out, shortly after i posted on fb i was contacted and got to meet a wonderful woman who i encouraged and got her on this sight for more help. It is all worth it for the one person i can make a difference in there life. People have options and talk and sometime you just need to flush what they say when it is negative. I do feel much better that i came out. I do not focus on the surgery but on what i am doing now in what i eat and being active is mostly my conversation. Do what brings you peace. Do things in your own timing. For me Im only going to post one more time on fb when i reach my goal weight of before and after pic. Best wishes on your journey.

Like a few others, I don't have much by way of a support system. That being said, no one needs to know my personal business. I have heard way too many people who have encountered those who say "oh you had surgery and cheated your way to getting thin"; to be honest, I don't look good in prison jumpsuits after I knock the **** outta someone for running their mouth like that, so its best no one knows. Standard answer: I gave up refined sugars, and limit my diet to low carbs and high proteins and hit the gym...done, nothing more needs to be said. Like someone else commented earlier in the thread, avoiding negative people who don't want to see you succeed is crucial, and keeping certain information guarded can help with that.

I've shared my procedure with very few people. Next week I plan to see friends. If they ask why I'm not drinking, I'll explain that I gave it up for a while to live a more healthy lifestyle.

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My massive weight gain is from an under active thyroid problem...I am at my highest weight ever...I weigh more now than I did when I was pregnant with my 3 children...God in Heaven please forgive me...We had a young relative die from WLS...She never made it out of surgery, because of a blood clot to the heart...I may not have the surgery now, because the doctor called and said my eco was abnormal...Going to the cardiologist tomorrow...He will have the last word...They all think right now, that my throid is being removed...If I do have the surgery, I will tell them the truth after the fact....

You need to do what's comfortable for you... I told only a few close girl friends , my husband and daughter and not my family ... I have a friend who advised me not to tell to many... they dissect every thing that goes into your mouth! I'm loosing it slow... 50 lbs in 5 months... just recently people are noticing. I tell them the truth

no carbs, no soda, no sweets protein first, eating off a lunch plate and walking every day!

If I wasn't doing the above it wouldn't work!!!!!

So I have no problem in saying...that is why I'm loosing weight!

..... I just leave out the surgery part...

I am just going to tell people the truth. I dont think we should feel ashamed of doing something good for our health. I know its a personal decision for everyone, but for me, I work in the fashion industry in NYC and I know for a fact if I start dropping tons of weight all of a sudden nobody is going to believe i did low carb because they already know Ive tried that a million times and it didnt work long term. What is the main reason people don't want anyone to know? I already told a few ppl at work except my boss, I just said I'm having surgery but why is everyone so ashamed of it? I'm questioning now if I will be look at like I'm weak if I tell people? (which basically is fine, when it comes to food I am weak) lol

I'm also telling all kinds of people about my plans, mostly because I don't really care what they say or think--I know I'm doing the right thing for me. BUT I definitely understand why some others don't want to tell people, and I support that decision for each individual. The last person I told about this said she was afraid of the surgery, she knew people who had died on the table. It wasn't clear how long ago she was talking about, but I responded that it's a very safe surgery, about the same as having your gall bladder out (which I've also done). Still, I was a bit taken aback by that response from her--that's what you say to someone planning to have the surgery? Way to be supportive!

She said she "KNEW PEOPLE" who died on the table? More than one? She must have some really sick friends, I've never heard of anyone dying from this unless they had other complications they didn't tell the surgeon about

The 30-day mortality rate for sleeve gastrectomy was 0.08 percent, while the rate for gastric bypass was 0.14 percent and 0.03 percent for gastric banding. These mortality and complication rates are lower than those typically associated with gallbladder or hip replacement surgery.Jun 20, 2012

http://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/bariatric-surgery-risks.html#How_to_Reduce-Main

Bariatric surgery complications:

• Are almost never life-threatening (99.9% survival rate)
• Are non-existent for about 93% of patients (30-day complication rate is 7%)
• Risk can be further minimized in a number of ways
• Differ depending on which procedure you choose