I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I don't plan on making a big post about it on Facebook but if people ask me and I can tell they are going through the same struggle I've been through the last 10+ years, I'll talk about it. There's nothing worst than having someone tell you "oh all I did was eat salads every day." And then you find out years later they had WLS. Obviously I was struggling and I'm sorry but no amount of salads is going to make you drop 100lbs. I'm just gullible. I also talk too much so more than likely I'll tell people when they ask, but I'll also back it up with all the work I've put into it as well (diet change, exercise, accountability.) I won't shout it from the rooftops, but I do intend on telling those who were looking for help the same way I had when I was lied to.

I'm have surgery on June 12, 2017.

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I plan on focusing solely on myself, my health and my new life.... I too will answer if I am asked. I have no problem sharing anything. That's all everyone seems to do nowadays with social media (totally guilty myself ). The surgery and new life is something I am keeping to myself and those whom I trust and my new friends on this website.

For me, the only way to have this be positive is to keep all of the negative out of it...unfortunately that means a lot of family and friends won't be privy to this life change until after it's all said and done.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

On 4/27/2017 at 2:54 PM, cab127 said:

I never shared my surgery with people. I figured it was no ones business

Amen @cab127

I won't be telling my extended family because they have a contradictory opinion about everything. I will tell my friends or others that ask about weight loss.

I had my surgery on April 11th. I had wished to keep it pretty secret from people that weren't immediate family. I guess I didn't make that clear enough to my husband though because now all of my work and our church knows as well. I had some negative people be ugly about it. That's what I was trying to avoid. Too late now. I'm just dealing with it.

One of my friends that knows I had surgery told me that when he tells people about me and my surgery they don't believe him. "No one loses that much weight, they are lying".

That's so funny OutsideMatchInside. Lol

I'm pre-surgery. Just went to Orientation and lab work begins this coming week. Then the 12 week Options class. My plans are only to tell my husband. He knows that I don't want anyone else to know. I'm a very private person and dont' want to share something that I think is personal. When asked how I'm losing the weight I'm going to respond with I'm now making eating healthier and exercising a priority.

Interesting thing.. my neighbor who has always been obese all of a sudden lost weight very quickly and lost his hair. I can tell he had WLS because I'm more aware of it now with all the reading I'm doing. Yesterday I walked over to him and told him he looked great. (I was curious if he'd mention he had WLS). He told me he's taking better care of himself and feels a LOT better. (I would never ask him, or anyone, if they had WLS). He thanked me for noticing his weight loss.

Like someone said.. it's a personal choice.

Anyone that loses weight fast can lose their hair though. It has nothing to do with WLS like people think. Some women shed and lose a bunch of hair after having a baby. Any kind of body change can make you lose hair. So just because he lost weight and hair doesn't mean he had WLS. And men can drop weight so fast if they cut calories and stick to it, it doesn't have to be because of WLS.

I'm a private person so discussing my personal business was not an issue. I told my daughter and my guy but along with other GI issues I think they didn't grasp any of it only that I was having surgery and they wanted me to be okay. They are proud of my progress and that's all that matter. At work everyone is on a yo yo diet so eating healthier was easy but nothing dramatic has come off at one time so the progress hasn't stirred up too much attention.

I imagine this is a very complex thing for most people. I totally understand why you would want to keep it a secret but on the other hand you will be dying to tell everyone because its such amazing feeling. I didn't tell anyone besides my immediate family and my wife's family but as time goes on and you're losing weight people will start to take notice. Everyone will want to know what your doing, what diet you're following. So tell them about your life style change. Tell them everything that you have been doing minus the surgery.. its none of their business! Tell them about the food you consume.. all your hard work in the gym. Try to inspire someone to reconsider their choices and also grab a little positive attention for doing such an amazing job even if you got a little help from surgery.

Be proud of yourself!

I find that I will tell strangers, but only 5 people in my life are privy to this info.

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Absolutely. Nobody at work knows. Because I had my gallbladder taken out at the same time, they think that is all my surgery was for. My family knows, of course, but don't need to be judged by others.

A friend of mine had the bypass a few years ago. We don't see each other often so when we did it was a huge difference. She had chosen not tell anyone outside of family...and me when I asked. She's been my rock through this process. Any way what she tells people is that she and her doctor and dietician worked out a plan. She follows that plan. All totally true. Apparently it satisfies most people.

I haven't told any but a select few who I knew I'd need for emotional support. In the days following the surgery (which was last Wed 4/26) if I needed to explain my absence or fatigue I just said I had a procedure. Only one person asked what it was and I continued the conversation like I didn't hear him. From here on out...cuz I'm feeling pretty good...I'll stick with my doctor gave me a plan and I'm sticking to it.

I'm 3 months out from surgery and the only person I told was a friend I used to work with who lives in another country (I felt somebody should just in case something went wrong). She's been very encouraging, but then again, she's lives (and I used to live there too) in a country where being even slightly overweight is seen as a failure. My family doesn't know, and none of my friends or co-workers know. However, I have lost over 60 pounds, and it's very noticeable (to them at least - what I see in the mirror is a different story), so I get a lot of questions.

But I have been consistent with my story throughout - no carbs (bread, pasta, rice, etc.), no added sugar, no alcohol, no dairy (except cheese). High protein, low carb, don't worry about fat - even though I'm not specifically doing keto, my daily macros are pretty close to what a keto diet should look like (except that I'm usually higher in protein than fat). I explain (if I need to) that when the body stops getting carbs from food sources, it forces it to go to it's own fat (glucose) stores for energy. And I have a huge pantry (belly, thighs, and butt) full of glucose!! I don't feel that this is a lie. It is what is happening to my body. I lost a pound a day while I was pre-op doing this kind of diet, while post-op it's been more like a pound every 2.5 days. Surgery is a tool, but you have to know what kind of tool it is and how it works. Basically I see the surgery as a body reset - it gives my body a real opportunity to lose weight, without all the handicaps that obese people face (low metabolism (and metabolic set-point, in which your body will fight against your weight loss efforts so that you end up gaining more weight that before you started), food addiction, insulin-/leptin-resistance, etc) that most regular-sized people have never experienced. But I still have to do the work (eat right, exercise), and I will for the rest of my life, or that reset will have been for nothing.

Now, if someone I know is struggling with their own weight and they asked me about WLS, I would be honest with them, but of all the people I know, only one or two people fit that bill. For the rest, it really is none of their business (and, like many others here, I'm a private person so would not share intimate details of any surgery with just anyone).

Edited May 3, 20179 yr by biginjapan

I'm a secret bander too, I'm only 6 days post op so I haven't been questioned yet. I plan on just telling people that I'm watching my portion sizes, eliminating junk and moving more, not lying, just leaving out the band part. As for my op, I told everyone it was to fix my hernia, again not a lie, the surgeon took care of that while banding me ?