I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

5 minutes ago, Jamocoa said:

Thank you... I'm so nervous... How are you doing since surgery

Ok. I just told him. It went fine.. I told him I need his support.. I told him what I'm going to have done. He said that's cool. I'll take care of you.. I feel so much better..

1 hour ago, MLRUIZ said:

I can't imagine keeping it from my boyfriend. He is my rock and the person who has been with me through it all. I did end up having complications with my surgery so it is important to tell your partner.

I know. I felt bad for not telling him. I thought he would try to talk me out of it.

1 hour ago, MLRUIZ said:

I can't imagine keeping it from my boyfriend. He is my rock and the person who has been with me through it all. I did end up having complications with my surgery so it is important to tell your partner.

What kind of complications did you have if you don't mind me asking?

1 hour ago, MLRUIZ said:

I can't imagine keeping it from my boyfriend. He is my rock and the person who has been with me through it all. I did end up having complications with my surgery so it is important to tell your partner.

What kind of complications did you have if you don't mind me asking?

7 hours ago, georgina said:

Hi bunnyboop... I am due to have band to bypass revision next week...... been waiting a year... did you have it as one surgery. How did it go.. how are you feeling and how quickly is the weight coming off?

Hate to side track this discussion, but I was banded in 2010 and I am starting to have problems with my band. My doctor has orders an upper GI and a barium swallow test. The doc said he is no longer doing bands and it taking lots out. My band has stopped me from gaining a lot of weight back and I guess I may have to have the sleeve done. Any one had the same experience/

Thanks

DA

52 minutes ago, Jamocoa said:

What kind of complications did you have if you don't mind me asking?

What kind of complications did you have if you don't mind me asking?

I had internal bleeding from one of the incisions. They had to do a emergency endoscopy to fix it. I lost a lot of blood and almost needed a blood transfusion. But after the repair I was fine. I left the hospital with only a 7.5 iron level but I'm at a 12 now.

I had internal bleeding from one of the incisions. They had to do a emergency endoscopy to fix it. I lost a lot of blood and almost needed a blood transfusion. But after the repair I was fine. I left the hospital with only a 7.5 Iron level but I'm at a 12 now.

Oh my word! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm happy you're doing better now

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Thank you. It was scary but I'm still happy I went through with it. I'm 16 days out of surgery and have lost 24# already. I look foward to the new skinny me

Had surgery 8/23/16. My husband, two teen daughters and two friends knew. Didn't tell my mother. Didn't tell my sister. Buried my mom six weeks after surgery - saw the whole big Italian family. Everyone remarked about how good I looked. I said thank you and changed the topic. When someone asked what I was doing to lose weight, I said the following - all of which is true:

I'm following a high protein diet

I'm monitoring my portions and logging everything I eat

I'm working with a personal trainer and working out multiple times a week.

My mother was the most amazingly judgmental person in the world. Wasn't going to tell her because she would have just said - oh, that's just like you to take the easy way out because you fail at everything you try. I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

(BTW - I've been practicing law for 25+ years, but I'm still the fat, ugly, stupid kid to her. )

Had surgery on the 8th and only my wife knows. I'm not planning on telling anyone else so thank you all for the ideas. Before the surgery, I started telling everyone that I'm changing my lifestyle to be healthier, which is very true.

I do agree with the notion of telling the truth and being 100% honest. But this is one of those things that I'd prefer to keep the details to myself.

4 hours ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

Had surgery 8/23/16. My husband, two teen daughters and two friends knew. Didn't tell my mother. Didn't tell my sister. Buried my mom six weeks after surgery - saw the whole big Italian family. Everyone remarked about how good I looked. I said thank you and changed the topic. When someone asked what I was doing to lose weight, I said the following - all of which is true:

I'm following a high Protein diet

I'm monitoring my portions and logging everything I eat

I'm working with a personal trainer and working out multiple times a week.

My mother was the most amazingly judgmental person in the world. Wasn't going to tell her because she would have just said - oh, that's just like you to take the easy way out because you fail at everything you try. I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

(BTW - I've been practicing law for 25+ years, but I'm still the fat, ugly, stupid kid to her. )

WOW. Sorry your mom was like that to you. I'm sure your a amazing person. I hope your husband is supportive.

I only told my family but they told others. I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret but I didn't tell them to tell others either.

I only told a few close family members about my surgery and very few friends. I have battled with obesity all of my life and having lost 126 pounds in five years has created quite the buzz in my social circle. It is difficult to explain to people about the surgery only because I don't feel my surgery is the only reason behind my weight loss. Of course it has helped but my weight loss did not begin until I committed to eating right and exercising. So unless a person indicates their desire to commit to a change like this then I don't offer this information. I don't regret my surgery but my journey was not an easy one and like with most of my struggles I just choose to keep it to myself unless I feel led to share it.

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I'm still going through the process of attending various classes, psy eval, nutritionist, etc. I'm scheduled to attend a 4 1/2 hrs orientation on April 27th....I can hardly wait. I plan to have Gastric bypass (RYN). Here's my thought....do what makes you feel comfortable. But at the same time be honest to yourself as well as others. I have always been a private person. My husband was the first to know. He is soooo supportive in my decision. He loves me the way I am, but will support me in what ever I decide to do. I talk to people on my job as well as church members. I also talk to people who had the WLS just to get an ideal of what to expect. If you're concern what people say or think...not good. As my 9yrs old grandson once told me, people will talk about you for life. Very true statement. So for me, If people ask how I did it, my response will be...I had the WLS to assist me in getting back on track with a healthy eating program. The new me will not allow me to keep it a secret. So I'm going to tell everyone who wants to know. Food for thought.

I agree with you -- but it's a personal choice and what's right for you and me may not be right for everyone. For me, starting this journey is about being accountable and I need to be accountable to both myself and to those who care about me (including friends and acquaintances). It's a very personal choice and while I don't plan to "shout it from the rooftops," if asked, I plan to be honest about the fact that I had surgery. I don't think the kind of weight loss we're going to experience is possible for most of us without the surgery -- and I don't want to mislead anyone that a high protein diet and exercise is all it takes. I think it also takes surgery and support and I need to be honest about that. Again, it's a personal choice, everyone's path is different, and what may work for me may not be right for you.

Bunny

I have wrestled with this decision myself and didn't know how I would handle this. I started losing weight when the surgeon put me on a 1400 calorie diet. I worked at a school, so the staff and students would see me walking around the halls and eating differently. I won't have my surgery until school is out and I don't think I will tell but a few family members and maybe one faculty member. People still love to point fingers and make snide comments, so I will be let them think that my walking and smaller portion size is doing the trick, which in the long run it is.

Hello @Dtrain84!

I just had sleeve surgery 6 weeks ago and about 5 people know. I don't feel like its anyone's business! I have been using the same logic as @ansoninc At first I didn't want to tell anyone in case I failed, but 40lbs later, this is working! The only complaint I have had is extreme nausea.......................... its been a rough 6 weeks. But YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE. Discussing my weight has always embarrassed me, so that's another reason I haven't told too many people. Only you know what you are comfortable sharing with the world. Best of luck to you! This forum is amazing! Glad you found us!

XOXOX

Nancy