I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I only told people (close friends) who I knew wouldn't judge me. A lot more care about me than I originally thought, and since they've seen me take on other recent calculated risks to improve my life and be happy....they get it...and are happy for me. No one else needs to know. People at work make comments about how much I have lost weight and I say, "thank you" or "It's a life long journey and I'm not giving up! I hate working out but I'm gonna keep going with that too."

Hi @VooLivre2017

I totally understand where you are coming from! That's my reasoning too! So many judgmental people and I don't want to hurt from their comments and I don't want to have to explain myself to everyone. This is HARD. Hardest thing I've been through in my 43 years and I don't want anyone telling me I took the easy way out....but I will say the support I have received from those that know has been wonderful. This is such a personal decision- different for everyone. ❤️

I would like to thank everybody who has commented. The only support I need is my beautiful wife. She has been through everything with me. In October of 2015, I suffered sudden cardiac arrest at work and was clinically dead for over 5 minutes. I am truly blessed to be here talking to you all right now. I spent almost 30 days in ICU and my wife never left my side. Because my of my medical history, I chose weight loss surgery because I had been obese for over half my life and had failed many times dieting and exercise. I chose to keep surgery a secret with the support of my wife. I'm glad I found this site. I will be looking forward to following you all I wish nothing but the best for you all in your journey for a healthier thinner lifestyle.

I have told my husband, 2 close friends, pastor and an acquaintance who reminded why it's important to keep it too yourself. The first words out of her mouth were "when did this happen ? The next words were shocking"you know it's not permanent". I stumbled over my words while trying to think how surgery could not be permanent. She went on to explain how there was a woman attending her gym who was exercising to get rid of some weight she had gained after having had WLS. I picked my lip up off the floor and gave her an ear full . "Surgery is not a solve all and anyone who thinks that it is-is mistaken. You still have to do the work and for me surgery was a tool to get me to my goal". She didn't say another word. I can't be sure others haven't told anyone else. I had surgery 2-6-17 and at this stage I have too much to deal with than being open to comment that involves pride and ignorance. So not saying anything else at this time.

I have told my kids, mother, sister, hra and two co-workers. That was all that I felt necessary to tell that way of it gets out a work I know who to get. Also, I don't want to jinx it that why I told a little bit of people.

I agree revesefoward. Some people say things like " I know someone that got real sick from that surgery or It only lasts for a short time then you gain it all back". Also, My BMI is 35.6 but I have four health issues that go along with being obese. My sister-in-laws are saying that I'm not fat enough to have the surgery. According to the guild lines I DO qualify. I'm not going to tell too many people. I've already learned my lesson.

Yes @reverseforward and @Smores !!! Exactly why I didn't tell anyone! Quite honestly I don't know HOW anyone gains the weight back - I am almost 6 weeks out and can barely look or eat food still without feeling nauseous. On the flip side because its been 6 weeks of hell, I wish I had told someone that could have talked me out of it because I am so miserable from the nausea I would take back the 40 I lost plus 40 more. But I do get what you're saying. People try and help, but I don't think they always have the best intentions.......................

I kept it a secret from most people. I told a few close friends and regret telling some of them because they think i took the easy way out. Or they think they can just drink a protein shake for breakfast and lose tons of weight, and it doesn't work like that.

I just prefer to keep people out of my weight loss business. It's easier.

Yes [mention=317156]reverseforward[/mention] and [mention=314561]Smores[/mention] !!! Exactly why I didn't tell anyone! Quite honestly I don't know HOW anyone gains the weight back - I am almost 6 weeks out and can barely look or eat food still without feeling nauseous. On the flip side because its been 6 weeks of hell, I wish I had told someone that could have talked me out of it because I am so miserable from the nausea I would take back the 40 I lost plus 40 more. But I do get what you're saying. People try and help, but I don't think they always have the best intentions.......................

I think lots of people gain the weight back because they never really fixed their issues with food. They lose weight and think they can eat whatever they want or eat the way their thin friends do. But really you can't. In order to maintain you almost to be healthy and active forever. Plus i think it happens over time so they don't realize that they're off track and slipping into old habits.

I started with a personal trainer last week and against my better judgment I told her what I was doing (RNY in May). First she blurted out, "some of my friends' moms have gotten that done!" and then made some reference to having heard "horror stories." Ultimately she got on board with my plan but her first reaction strengthened my resolve not to go around telling people willy nilly.

Besides her I have told my kids, their dad, and my best friend. That's it. I'm not in the habit of discussing my weight with my coworkers or my larger circle of acquaintances anyway.

@xoxococojay - I have read the trolls going on about how easy this is. You have absolutely no idea how angry that makes me to read that. This has been the literal worst 6 weeks of my entire life. I understand how people can get back to their old ways, but physically right now I can't so it even something I can think about and after what I've been through, I would never..................

@violetisle - I totally understand. Are you sure you want to do this? I am not being judgmental, its just been a rough 6 weeks and I have hated every minute. I think though I am in the minority with stomach adjustments! I am here if you want to talk!

Thanks @NancyNYC my mind is pretty made up that WLS is my path right now. I'm sorry things are going so rough for you! Hopefully things will start evening out for you soon. Sending you good thoughts.

I have kept the surgery a secret from my father and that side of my family. The reason is, when I went to talk to him about it, he flipped out and was very rude. I just decided to keep him out of the loop. My Granny (his mom) knows. She is my biggest supporter.

Only 2 people know I'm just over 90 days out, everyone just thinks I've been eating better and making better choices

HW 493lbs 3/2/16

SW 416lbs 1/10/17

CW 352lbs

12 years later and only my immediate family and physicians know.

When I first began losing I stated it was a bad gallbladder they finally removed so I could begin to drop all the weight.

I applaud people who choose to tell. I just knew it wasn't right for me.