I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I know--I did my research. And let's not even talk about how unhealthy it is for me to carry all this weight, have diabetes, etc. I didn't even have a moment's doubt based on what she said--I just realized then why some people don't want to tell others. And I'm completely sure she didn't mean to be negative--it was just her honest reaction. One perspective, though, is that she's in her 70s and it was unclear how long ago the one incident she mentioned had happened., or which procedure it was. I'd bet money, if I had any, that it wasn't this one (gastric sleeve) and it wasn't this century, for that matter!

For the most part, I'm keeping it secret. Only telling people who need to know. I started setting up my excuse for being out for my surgery.

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I went the total opposite and just about everyone I know has been informed of my surgery, especially in case of an emergency and I am with them when they have to call for assistance. I also wear a medical alert bracelet that clearly states that I have had the sleeve surgery. For the most part people have been kind about my situation. Behind closed doors, who knows? But, I'm not going to get all bent out of shape about it. Even my favorite waitress at the local diner we frequent knows about my surgery and knows exactly what I order (one egg scrambled, an order of turkey bacon, and a fruit bowl, which is shared with my husband).

It is such a personal decision and you will do what is right for you. As far as the questions about your weight loss all need to tell them that you are doing it under the watchful eye of your doctor and that you are losing weight to be healthy. They don't need to know how you are doing it, just that you are and if they can't be happy for you than phooey on them!

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I agree, its a very personal choice who you tell and who you dont. I just know that the ppl i work with know I cant stay on a diet and will be suspicious lol

I'm pre-op and other than the strategic few I have told already (husband, parents, a couple of close friends), I will probably keep mum for now. I want to limit the advice and opinions I receive to only those from people I personally choose to have in my pre-op squad. But, after surgery I will be willing to tell people because I think there is no way to get rid of the stigma without talking about it. Only when people can see up close the amount of work and sweat that goes into the WLS lifestyle will they start to lose the "you took the easy way out" mindset.

Now, I don't think every single WLS patient needs to be that ambassador. But I personally see myself taking on that role because I'm really good at educating people through communication & conversation - people are used to me being on my soapbox

I know I'm my little corner of the world just about everyone I meet knows my story. And, they know I work out like a fiend three times a week in the gym plus other things the days I'm not in the gym. I think one can say I'm telling it on the mountain! LOL

I do not plan on telling ANY one but close family.

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I told my dad and his GF because her daughter had the gastric sleeve so I just wanted advice from them. I told a few of my friends and my mom is still in the dark about it. She wouldn't agree on it since it was something that my friend and I just done on a spare of the moment kinda of thing. I don't know if I really want to tell her or not. She has a hard time understanding the things I do and freaks out about most of them or just dint agree and always tries to make me do things the way she would like. Maybe I'll tell her one of there days but right now is not the time.

This is an interesting topic. I said to my wife that I was happy if she told anyone, and that for a couple of her friends I would be glad if she did as it would smooth out some awkwardness.

Clearly the choice is highly personal and what's right for you is right.

That said for me it's sad that having been obese we can potentially exchange one stigma for another. I don't want to live my life being ashamed or embarrassed, and those things only come from me. I've spent too long with the emotional weight of weight that now I'm determined to throw that off, and for me that means being open and not giving and 'eff' what anyone else thinks about my choices. From a bigger picture point of view this surgery appears to be so life changing that people need to know about it and feel it's a normal choice. I think that if I'm being open and it makes someone else feel that way then I'll have a added a little to my karma!

It is your choice and your body, you do not need to explain anything to anyone. But! Just always say on facebook "hitting the gym," or pictures of healthy food. Sign up for a 10k or sprint triathlon (even if you do not end up doing it) just tell people "Ya I am training for this sporting event and the weight is just falling off!" Just say I am on the KETO diet and only drink green tea. I told my co-workers which is true, that I am having surgery to fix my debilitating acid reflux that was causing my esophagus to develop pre-cancerous cells, and fix a hernia, so I just say everything without saying "gastric bypass," and I just mention that they are taking part of my stomach to help with the reflux.

Hi Everyone. I had my bypass on 6/26/17 and I only told maybe 5 people. I got such negative looks or remarks from people when I mentioned I was considering it so I decided it wasn't a need to talk about it. I did have a hiatal hernia so when people ask I am gonna say I had the hernia removed and now I can't eat alot of stuff that I could initially.

Hello! If privacy matters that much then I respect your position because people can be negative but I'm different, I told my closest male friend first then my special co-workers but I'm very vocal about it because I have so many people in my circle and extended that need to know that this is a healthy positive event choice.

I feel I have inspired someone by telling which can bring much needed support..THIS IS NOT EASY!

Best wishes to you and your success! !!

Val Rennee

I do not plan on telling ANY one but close family.

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I hear you. I am not telling anybody except my husband. Some of my coworkers are very judgmental in a vicious way.

Yes, I have only told 5 people. So funny one of the people went on fb,talking about please pray for my friend. She is in the hospital having weight loss surgery. I was like ??? oh my God the whole world is going to knw. I was angry told her to take it down. Thank God she didn't tag me in it.

On 4/16/2017 at 1:26 PM, Dtrain84 said:

I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I have only told a very few, very close people. I don't feel if it is anyone's business. I told people I had to get a procedure on my stomach that I had been putting off. I was working hard to lose before deciding on surgery and my husband recently lost 110lbs, walking. I said this to say, I don't think I will get too many questions about the weight loss.