I'm not sure when making the personal decision to not tell the world all of your personal business became a "half truth" or "lie by omission" but if that's the case, I have a few scenerios/questions for those of you who think that way.

By that logic:

If someone asks me how me and husband are the day after a huge fight (or a night of great sex), is it my duty to tell them all the details or is my standard answer of "Great!" or "Fine!" now a lie?

If someone asks me why I look tired, do I have to tell them that my husband snored and farted all night/was extremely frisky/kept getting up to pee and woke me up a gazillion times or am I lying?

I am just getting over a horrible tummy bug. When people ask me if I'm feeling better, should I go ahead and tell them that I am terribly afraid that I am going to poop in my pants at any minute because my stomach still feels off? If I don't, I am TOTALLY lying by omission.

Well meaning friends often ask how my kids are doing in school. Should I tell them that my oldest is in the top ten in her class, got into a top rated university, has received an a$$ load of scholarships but that her ex-boyfriend is being a real bast@rd and making her personal life a little miserable? I mean, that's the truth.

People often ask me my ethnicity because I am olive complected in the bible belt. I tell them Mexican and Italian, but I leave out the drop of German and Acatec Indian. Pin a big red L on my chest!

Must I tell people that I am on the rag/pissed at my kids/need a glass of wine/really have no desire to talk to them/in a hurry when they ask me how I am doing? Manners be damned! I don't want to be a liar.


Do I love your skirt? Why yes, I do! But now I have to tell you that it's beautiful but looks like **** on you because I don't want to omit any info.

Why am I smiling? I just crop dusted some nasty faced woman an aisle over. TRUTH!!


I could go on forever ...

Keeping my personal business PERSONAL doesn't make ME a liar just because you choose to share YOUR personal business.

I agree with OP 100%!!!!!! I am tired of people judging people who choose not to tell, inferring we are ashamed, or implying we are dishonest. I have only chosen to tell a few select people that I consider my support system. My husband and my 3 closest girlfriends. My nearest relative is 8 hours away, I work virtually so I didn't have to deal with co-workers. Honestly they have no idea I was obese to begin with. My boss is very professional and never asked what surgery was for. HR approved the leave.... That all she needed to know. Everyone else is just acquaintances..... I don't think they need to know. I also haven't told my "acquaintances" about other numerous surgeries, or that I odds with my father in law, how much money I make, when argue with my husband, or my kids are getting on my nerves or many other private things. Guess what .....they don't want me to waste their time with that crap. If I was ashamed I wouldn't have told my BFFs.... They are the only people in the world whose opinions matter to me!! As for helping other obese... If you are obese and a good friend and ask I would tell them the surgery details.

I think many of us agree with LipstickLady, that we prefer to keep some aspects of our lives private. As far as any obligation to inform other obese people about WLS, isn't that up to them to do their own research? No one told me about WLS. In this age of information at your fingertips if they are interested they can find out for themselves. No guilt here regarding not sharing. I didn't even tell my grown children who are living abroad.

Is an omission of details the same as a lie?????

""It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." Bill Clinton

I also heard from the pulpit once that you don't have to lie......you just don't have to tell everything you know.

Lol love it!

Really, the only people who *need* to know about your surgery are your doctors so they can provide whatever treatment you need while taking your new stomach/band/sleeve into consideration.

I've been open about it with close friends and family because I didn't want to have to deal with their "How did you lose all that weight?!" questions. I've been quiet about it with friends and family I'm not as close to because I don't want to deal with nosy questions like "Are you sure you should be eating that?" or "Why haven't you lost more weight?" There are the well-meaning people in my life and the nosy/intrusive turds who are better kept in the dark.

""It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." Bill Clinton

I guess someone could use Billy's excuse of "I did not have sex with that woman" and rephrase it as:

"I did not have (insert the name of the WLS you did not have) surgery with that doctor".

Pondering this a bit more and I guess if someone asks how you lost the weight and you answered "None of your dammed business!", that would be the whole truth, no lie, no omission.

Pondering this a bit more and I guess if someone asks how you lost the weight and you answered "None of your dammed business!", that would be the whole truth, no lie, no omission.

This by far my favorite answer to the question!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I couldn't agree more! My life is no one's business unless I choose to make it theirs. But hey, again, I have no problem telling people to bud the **** out of my life either.

From the opposing opinion:

:crickets:

SNORT!

If someone remarks "How did you get so thin?" I tell them I had weight loss surgery, I have had mostly positive feedback, once in awhile a so called "weight loss expert" (who usually isn't very thin) remarks about how I took the easy way out. I just say well if you haven't done it you don't know. I am not ashamed to tell people about my surgery. I also don't try to talk anyone into doing the same. Advice is given if asked for. I have never been the kind of person who cares what people think really, so it's easy for me to blow off the negative nellies. I try to be myself no matter what. I know why I did what I did and how I accomplished my goal and how much it improved my health and yes my looks.

I tell everyone, everything. My kids are always stunned when I manage to keep any secret. Between the weight loss and the hair loss, people would wonder if I was undergoing chemo treatments. I am content with my decision to tell all. The only time I have second guessed it was during a stall when it seemed everyone was asking for an updated weight loss total... and it hadn't changed in a couple of weeks.

That being said... If you don't want to tell, don't tell. It's your body, your life, your business.

did you have to do this again?

sigh.

If someone remarks "How did you get so thin?" I tell them I had weight loss surgery, I have had mostly positive feedback, once in awhile a so called "weight loss expert" (who usually isn't very thin) remarks about how I took the easy way out. I just say well if you haven't done it you don't know. I am not ashamed to tell people about my surgery. I also don't try to talk anyone into doing the same. Advice is given if asked for. I have never been the kind of person who cares what people think really, so it's easy for me to blow off the negative nellies. I try to be myself no matter what. I know why I did what I did and how I accomplished my goal and how much it improved my health and yes my looks.

Good on you! I love that you choose to share your story. I choose not to and like you, that's just being myself.

did you have to do this again?

sigh.

Huh?

As I've stated in other threads, I told everyone before my op...

I'm talking EVERYONE!!!

Not because it was the 'right' thing to do...

But because it was what I chose to do...

As it happens, I now tell FAR fewer people...

Of course, people ask how I'm losing my weight...

I tell them how I'm doing it...

Strict portion control, paying attention to what I eat and twice daily (mostly) exercise...

That's the truth...

Sure, I had surgery...

But the reality is, I can still put weight on despite the sleeve...

So it's the attention to diet/exercise that is allowing me to lose weight...

Of course, if someone asks if I've had surgery, I reply with a resounding "Oh dear God yes!! It's the best thing I've ever done!!!"

So as far as in concerned, say whatever the f*ck you want...

Lie...

Don't lie...

Tell half truths....

Who cares?

We owe nothing to anyone except ourselves and our loved ones...

If we can live with how we tell our stories then the rest of the world can kiss our collective arses..

From the opposing opinion:

:crickets:

SNORT!

Huh?