I'm not sure when making the personal decision to not tell the world all of your personal business became a "half truth" or "lie by omission" but if that's the case, I have a few scenerios/questions for those of you who think that way.

By that logic:

If someone asks me how me and husband are the day after a huge fight (or a night of great sex), is it my duty to tell them all the details or is my standard answer of "Great!" or "Fine!" now a lie?

If someone asks me why I look tired, do I have to tell them that my husband snored and farted all night/was extremely frisky/kept getting up to pee and woke me up a gazillion times or am I lying?

I am just getting over a horrible tummy bug. When people ask me if I'm feeling better, should I go ahead and tell them that I am terribly afraid that I am going to poop in my pants at any minute because my stomach still feels off? If I don't, I am TOTALLY lying by omission.

Well meaning friends often ask how my kids are doing in school. Should I tell them that my oldest is in the top ten in her class, got into a top rated university, has received an a$$ load of scholarships but that her ex-boyfriend is being a real bast@rd and making her personal life a little miserable? I mean, that's the truth.

People often ask me my ethnicity because I am olive complected in the bible belt. I tell them Mexican and Italian, but I leave out the drop of German and Acatec Indian. Pin a big red L on my chest!

Must I tell people that I am on the rag/pissed at my kids/need a glass of wine/really have no desire to talk to them/in a hurry when they ask me how I am doing? Manners be damned! I don't want to be a liar.


Do I love your skirt? Why yes, I do! But now I have to tell you that it's beautiful but looks like **** on you because I don't want to omit any info.

Why am I smiling? I just crop dusted some nasty faced woman an aisle over. TRUTH!!


I could go on forever ...

Keeping my personal business PERSONAL doesn't make ME a liar just because you choose to share YOUR personal business.

I chose to keep my surgery private. I did have a friend, who is preparing for WLS, ask me outright if I lost my weight through surgery. I lied and said I hadn't. I felt terrible as I know I may have caused her doubt in herself regarding if she could lose her weight without surgery. I feel really bad about it, but I know she is a bit gossipy, so if I had told her I know she would have told others.

I gave her heaps of encouragement about her surgery and told her if I were to regain all of my weight I would have surgery too.

But I feel like an a*****e. I don't know if I made the right decision not telling her. It definitely was not in her best interest and very selfish.

I am all about privacy and keeping your information confidential if that's what you choose to do. That said, as I was reading your post, I was a bit irritated at you for telling her you didn't have surgery when asked out right. (Clearly I am just as bitchy in person as I am on these boards because NO ONE has ever asked me. HA!)

BUT!!! The second you stated your concerns about her inability to keep your information to herself, you totally won me back over. You DO NOT have to tell ANYONE ANYTHING personal if it is going to make you uncomfortable. You owe her nothing.

Don't feel guilty and don't beat yourself up. Your reason for not telling her is 100% reasonable and warranted. Let go of that guilt. It only creates cravings for chocolate.

To quote a country western song "my give a damn is busted"

Honestly makes this all so much simpler.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I chose to keep my surgery private. I did have a friend, who is preparing for WLS, ask me outright if I lost my weight through surgery. I lied and said I hadn't. I felt terrible as I know I may have caused her doubt in herself regarding if she could lose her weight without surgery. I feel really bad about it, but I know she is a bit gossipy, so if I had told her I know she would have told others.

I gave her heaps of encouragement about her surgery and told her if I were to regain all of my weight I would have surgery too.

But I feel like an a*****e. I don't know if I made the right decision not telling her. It definitely was not in her best interest and very selfish.

When I was first going through pre-op testing I told one of my closest friends I was planning to have surgery and told her not to tell anyone. Then not even a week later she told me she told 2 people "that I didn't think counted". It really hurt my feelings and basically changed our friendship forever. As a single person I know you can't trust married people to keep their mouths shut, but I thought she and I were better friends than that. I have kept plenty of her secrets. In that moment I realized that if I wanted to keep any control over who knew about my surgery, I had to keep it to myself.

It sucks because my friend could really benefit from surgery, but she isn't mentally ready for the changes, so there is no point in trying to have the conversation with her.

The fact she blabbed my business like it was her story to tell, removed all guilt for me, and I learned my lesson.

Don't feel bad.

I'm hoping this doesn't come up for me but if someone asks directly I plan on saying either "That's a pretty personal question!" or "I don't like to talk about personal questions like that" or maybe "Why do you ask?"

I do have one sister whom I don't wish to tell cuz I think she will tell others and am not sure what to tell her. We are close enough to ask personal questions and I wouldn't want to imply a method of weight loss works when it didn't work for me (for me, diet and exercise did not work). Maybe I will just say. "I'm eating a whole lot less food!" For now, I just hope I get my surgery and lose the weight

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Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Why? She's not.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Why? She's not.

Cause it feels good knowing I'm better than her? hahaha That and my reputation is worth protecting.