I ran into someone that I haven't seen in over a year. And she was like girl I didn't even recognize you not being fat! I was like really? All I can do to not be ugly. Yes I was fat, yes I've lost 115 lbs. get over it! Lol.

"Oh, you have a neck now!" UGH

I would take it as a compliment the way it was meant. With such a dramatic weight loss, it was an honest comment.

Aren't you worried about sagging skin? Duh yes people just have to state the obvious.

Calling someone fat in pre or in past tense form is plain rude! I wouldn't take that as a compliment I would take that as ignorance! So apparently that's just how said person saw you. What an ass! But yay for your awesome accomplishment! I'm sure you look stunning!

.

Edited December 31, 201411 yr by Stevehud

I don't understand, if you were fat you didn't hide it, so how is it rude to say hey you were fat now your not. how wonderful. That's not rude its being honest, blunt perhaps, but honest. Would you rather people just not acknowledge the difference at all? Heres a hint if you had this surgery , you were fat! then you busted your butt to become, not fat. That's an amazing thing and for me, inspirational. Why try to hide who you were.

You're right, you don't understand. I don't have any friends who would want/would like to be called fat in past or present tense nor do I.

Was I fat? Yup. Am I fat now? Nope. Are you an ass to tell me the obvious about my former fat status ? Absolutely.

It's not about being honest or dishonest, it's about being kind and considerate to others.

Edit to add: I am NOT calling anyone HERE an ass, not even the person I quoted. My point was that it's highly likely that I *would* call someone an ass if they dared point out that I was fat but I'm not now. No sh!t, Sherlock. Back handed compliments are worse than flat out insults, IMO, because they are so passive aggressive.

Edited December 29, 201411 yr by LipstickLady

@@LipstickLady You are my hero

.

Edited December 31, 201411 yr by Stevehud

wow

Calling someone brunette is not comparable to calling someone fat. Just because someone is/was fat doesn't mean they need to hear it out loud. I think I speak for many people on the forum when I say that I didn't need someone to tell me I was fat to know it was true. The only thing I would conclude from someone saying that I am/was fat is that they are an insensitive POS and don't have any place in my life. There is a difference between being honest and being malicious.

Edit to add: it's pretty mind blowing to me how some grown adults (this is not directed at anyone in particular) feel the need to say every little thing that pops into their head. Just because you think something doesn't mean you need to grace everyone else with your opinion ie " you used to be so fat I can't even recognize you"

Edited December 29, 201411 yr by sunflowerchild

It's probably not the worst comment I've received, but it was a little offensive: "Are you sick? You're melting away, you need to eat." As they push trays of fatty, fried foods in my face. Uh, no thanks. That's how I ended up 265 pounds. One person told me my head looked big. WOW! It doesn't matter if your fat or skinny. People can be just plain rude.

kind and considerate like calling me an ass? You troll the boards looking for ways to attack me lipsticklady. Instead of taking apology after apology for doing nothing wrong by the way, you still will do anything to attack me. SO I will have to keep all my posts to the mens section where you aren't allowed. Thank you for forcing me off the forums.

That being said. Calling someone fat in the past tense is not some kind of malicious attack, especially if they were fat. If someone was a blond and became a brunette would it be rude to say hey I like the brunette better than the blond? no its not , its a physical thing. If you don't like being fat you change it, and you did. which as I said is wonderful. and inspirational, not that you give a crap coming from an ass, some people want people to acknowledge they are thin now, but forget that they were ever fat.

Ill take being an ass if being an ass means I live in reality.

In the words of a great SNL skit, Buh Bye.

You need to reread my post. I never called YOU an ass. Please, show me where in the world I have EVER done any name calling on this forum.

I "troll the boards" looking for ways to attack you? That's hysterical. I don't know you nor do I give a rat's patoot about you. I certainly don't have the time or inclination to LOOK for you.

I am "forcing you" off the forums? Somehow I doubt that, but if you make the choice to post elsewhere, that's on YOU, it's certainly not on me.

And if your reality is the above, along with having lack of tact and respect for someone else's feelings, more power to you. I would NEVER tell someone I like their new hair/body/clothes better than their old. That's an ugly sort of backhanded compliment -- not one most people would enjoy.

Edited December 29, 201411 yr by LipstickLady

Calling someone brunette is not comparable to calling someone fat. Just because someone is/was fat doesn't mean they need to hear it out loud. I think I speak for many people on the forum when I say that I didn't need someone to tell me I was fat to know it was true. The only thing I would conclude from someone saying that I am/was fat is that they are an insensitive POS and don't have any place in my life. There is a difference between being honest and being malicious.

Edit to add: it's pretty mind blowing to me how some grown adults (this is not directed at anyone in particular) feel the need to say every little thing that pops into their head. Just because you think something doesn't mean you need to grace everyone else with your opinion ie " you used to be so fat I can't even recognize you"

Abolutely! What kind of jerk are you going to prove yourself to be (and to be very clear--I am NOT calling anyone a jerk, it's a general/plural comment <eye roll>) if or when they go back to their past hair color or gain a few pounds back? Why in the world would you taint a sincere compliment with an unfeeling dig on what used to be?

Seriously, what good can come from insulting how someone USED to be as opposed to simply focusing on what they are now?

I don't understand, if you were fat you didn't hide it, so how is it rude to say hey you were fat now your not. how wonderful. That's not rude its being honest, blunt perhaps, but honest. Would you rather people just not acknowledge the difference at all? Heres a hint if you had this surgery , you were fat! then you busted your butt to become, not fat. That's an amazing thing and for me, inspirational. Why try to hide who you were.

It's not the word fat, it's the way it's being used. The context being "you used to be unattractive/ugly, etc..." To use slang that is what's called "shade".

As for me I keep getting the "aren't you glad to be off all those medications?" comment. Especially when I go for f/u labs. Why is it rude? Because despite my high BMI, I had NO co-morbities.No diabetes, no hypertension or high blood pressure, even my arthritic knee which was a result of a skiing accident no longer bothered me because I had been taking Water aerobics for the past 3 years.

@@Stevehud Its rude and classless to refer to someone as "fat"! There are much better way to comment/congratulate someone on losing weight without using that word! Would it be ok to tell someone who had plastic surgery "oh wow I almost didn't recognize you now that your not ugly!"? The word fat is a derogatory term for most people (especially women). Maybe I just have a little more class than that along with giving a hoot about people's feelings. I know I don't want to be called fat now and I sure as hell won't take it as a compliment later I don't care If it is "true" I'm not "hiding" anything I'm living my life and I refuse to be acknowledge by a size! Oh and Ps: dying your hair is a chemical change not a physical change, so as not to be confused with weight loss!

Edited December 29, 201411 yr by Elode