Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

The "Idiot's" Guide to Easy Answers for the Nosy People in our Lives.



Recommended Posts

A hot topic for debate is to tell about our WLS or not to tell. In my opinion, the only "right" answer to this question is to do what is best for YOU. The choices you make about your body are deeply personal and you don't owe ANYONE an explanation or frankly, any answers at all about your weight loss. That said, the nosy nellies (and well meaning, but slightly clueless folk) are often relentless in their questioning.

I will not lie and I will do everything in my power to be polite (for a little while anyways) but firm. It's really not hard. I am just over 18 months out and I've not told ANYONE that I didn't want to about my surgery. Perhaps because I am not a pushover and when I speak, I leave little room for further discussion, but I have only had two people even hint around about surgery, and no one has had the balls to ask out right.

So my answers to the questions I've been asked or I've read that others have been asked (some copied from my reply on another thread):

How are you losing weight? "I'm working with my doctor, eating smaller, healthier portions and exercising."

Are you on a special diet? "I am working with my doctor to eat smaller, healthier portions."


What are you eating? "Well, my doctor and nutritionist have come up with a plan that works specifically for me."

Are you allowed to eat...? "Just like you, I can eat whatever I want, I simply choose not to."

How much have you lost? "A lot."

Well, how much? "A lot."

So how many pounds? "A lot."

What size do you wear now? "That's a weird question."

How much do you weigh? :blank stare: "Why in the world would you ask that?" or "I'm sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did."

Did you have surgery? "Why in the world would you ask such a personal question?" or "I didn't realize you were interested in WLS. I suggest you contact a doctor." or "That's a weird question."

How much more do you want to lose? "I'll know when I get there."

Are you still trying to lose weight? "I am working on being the healthiest I can be."

So HOW MUCH have you lost? "A LOT."

Wow! You've lost a TON of weight. "Thank you."

WOW! You are shrinking to nothing. "Thank you."

WOW! You've lost a whole person. "Thank you."

You are going to blow away soon. "Thank you."

Wow. You can't lose much more, can you? "Thank you."

You are really getting too thin. "Thank you."

You eat like a bird. "You eat like a horse." No, not really. HA! "Thank you."


What other questions have you been asked or are you worried about people asking you? Give me something hard!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This made my Monday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love it! Too bad I didn't read this prior to all the questions thrown at me last week. Now I can't wait for another person to ask!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always hate the question, "Do you feel better?" It kinda irritates me because it assumes that just because I was fat, that I felt like sh** all the time. I'm a nurse and I worked my ass off then and still do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're wasting away! "Well, that would be a waste!" Catching on.........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about "I think you're losing to much weight."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about when you are stalled for a while and are asked "are you still losing weight?". I don't like saying "No."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does it really matter what we say if we don't want to talk about how much we weigh?

In which case ... any or all of the following answers would suffice:

No.

Yes.

I don't know -- I weigh only once a month (once a year?) on my doctor's scales.

I don't know -- I don't weigh myself anymore. I go by how my clothes are fitting.

I no longer discuss my weight with co-workers / relatives / anyone / idiots / f**king idiots.

Edited by VSGAnn2014

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It does matter because I don't want to be rude. If the people in are lives are asking they are usually fairly close to us. Don't want to damage the relationship, just don't want to answer the questions.

I think we can still be polite about it :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Lipstick Lady. I'm going to print out all your answers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×