A hot topic for debate is to tell about our WLS or not to tell. In my opinion, the only "right" answer to this question is to do what is best for YOU. The choices you make about your body are deeply personal and you don't owe ANYONE an explanation or frankly, any answers at all about your weight loss. That said, the nosy nellies (and well meaning, but slightly clueless folk) are often relentless in their questioning.

I will not lie and I will do everything in my power to be polite (for a little while anyways) but firm. It's really not hard. I am just over 18 months out and I've not told ANYONE that I didn't want to about my surgery. Perhaps because I am not a pushover and when I speak, I leave little room for further discussion, but I have only had two people even hint around about surgery, and no one has had the balls to ask out right.

So my answers to the questions I've been asked or I've read that others have been asked (some copied from my reply on another thread):

How are you losing weight? "I'm working with my doctor, eating smaller, healthier portions and exercising."

Are you on a special diet? "I am working with my doctor to eat smaller, healthier portions."

What are you eating? "Well, my doctor and nutritionist have come up with a plan that works specifically for me."

Are you allowed to eat...? "Just like you, I can eat whatever I want, I simply choose not to."

How much have you lost? "A lot."

Well, how much? "A lot."

So how many pounds? "A lot."

What size do you wear now? "That's a weird question."

How much do you weigh? :blank stare: "Why in the world would you ask that?" or "I'm sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did."

Did you have surgery? "Why in the world would you ask such a personal question?" or "I didn't realize you were interested in WLS. I suggest you contact a doctor." or "That's a weird question."

How much more do you want to lose? "I'll know when I get there."

Are you still trying to lose weight? "I am working on being the healthiest I can be."

So HOW MUCH have you lost? "A LOT."

Wow! You've lost a TON of weight. "Thank you."

WOW! You are shrinking to nothing. "Thank you."

WOW! You've lost a whole person. "Thank you."

You are going to blow away soon. "Thank you."

Wow. You can't lose much more, can you? "Thank you."

You are really getting too thin. "Thank you."

You eat like a bird. "You eat like a horse." No, not really. HA! "Thank you."


What other questions have you been asked or are you worried about people asking you? Give me something hard!

I'mm pretty much like @Lipsticklady. I don't share anything I don't want to and I don't I owe people answers to questions I don't care to discuss. I don't think No is a bad word, neither to I think directly saying, "I don't discuss my weight" is being rude. It's being honest. That said, even before I considered WLS and I started changing my eating habits and working out, I always told people I wasn't in a diet. I don't believe in diets so I told them then and I tell them now, I am making adjustments in my eating habits in order to be healthier.

OK

Edited December 8, 201411 yr by Puppypaws57

but I don't think people are F*&)ing idiots either and I'm sure you don't either. :-)

Not sure what you mean by this.

I went back to work on Thursday. Someone asked me if I had liposuction. I was like if I did I need to sue the doctor because there is still a ton of fat here. This person and I are not close and it totally caught me off guard. Most people didn't say anything just they were happy that I was back. So I guess the rumor mill is going to be that I had a hysterectomy and lipo. A couple of people asked if they took everything or partial (referring to a hysterectomy) - well I never said I had a hysterectomy do my answer was they didn't take everything (I still have some of my stomach).

If I'm ever ready to share this information it is going to be a mess.

I will just smile sweetly and say "I am bored talking about my body, let's talk about yours now!" I figure that will stop things pretty fast. :-)

@@ready2B wins for best answer EVER on another thread. This will be my new go to answer. For real, yo!

I thought of this thread today at church a lady a well, meaning lady asked me how much more I had to lose, I told her, and then she said well, when you get there I want to give you some money to buy new clothes, very generous but I felt so awkward, I don't know if I know this lady well enough to take money from her, and not only that I have 116 lbs to lose I'm sure I might need clothes between now and then and am I just supposed to go up to her when I reach 125 and say hey where's my money ? LOL don't get me wrong I do believe she meant well I just didn't know how to react, I said thank you that would be nice but I"m not holding my breathe.

^^^^

Some people are idiots.

@@amponder - This may be my one soft spot, but I give the old folks a break. I would have just smiled and said, "That's really sweet of you. thanks!" We both know it ain't really gonna happen and some old folks have truly loss their filter.

Here is a question that I got from a friend.....

Did you know that if you have WLS you will die 7 to 10 yrs sooner? Why would you take the easy way out and die years earlier than you're suppose to? Why don't you just do it the hard way like the rest of us?

First I laughed....

7 to 10 yrs.....really? Did you talk to professionals...doctors...nutritionists....surgeons? Or did you just make that number up yourself?

The easy way....really? Surgery is never easy...its a huge decision that I researched for well over a year before even mentioning it to my doctor. This is the most difficult thing I have ever done and I will live with it for the rest of my life....a life that will be LONGER because I am taking the weight off of my body in a healthy way.

Do it the hard way like the rest of you?.....like when you only eat 1 meal a day and drink 6 cans of diet coke a day to keep your calories down? Or when you exercise excessively to "sweat off" that one meal you ate that day? Or like when you make yourself vomit when you binge eat because you have been starving yourself everyday for weeks and you feel guilty for eating. That "hard way"?

Then I got mad because she is a friend and she said it so rudely and mean.....and then I got rude and mean back.

So I apologized and asked her not to talk with me about it if it makes her uncomfortable because the surgery was my decision ....a decision just for me.....me and me only. I need support and acceptance not negativity.

She didn't apologize but she has never brought it up to me again.

So I apologized and asked her not to talk with me about it if it makes her uncomfortable because the surgery was my decision ....a decision just for me.....me and me only. I need support and acceptance not negativity.

She didn't apologize but she has never brought it up to me again.

Good for you! I doubt I would have apologized but you gotta shut that stuff down. If the only thing you can do is ask them not to talk to you about it, then so be it.

WLS patients die 7-10 years earlier?

There must be WLS threads on online conspiracy forums where trolls just make this sh*t up.

Good grief.

Edited December 8, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

@@BLERDgirl She really isn't that old she is around my Mother's age, what she is though is very well off.

Oh I had one of those. My mother's friend wanted to call me because she bypass surgery years ago. I simply said "No thanks". She looked a little surprised, but I just ignored it and changed the subject to something more neutral.

OK Lipstick Lady... here's one.. I did not tell my husband's family. They live 1000 miles away. However my husband told his mother. Now this lady has never had a weight problem in her life.. she is simply too self disciplined and full of nervous engergy to become over weight, and I am sure, thinks anyone else should be able to control their own weight also. She is also very OPINIONATED and has on more that one occasion told me what she thinks... Once told me I was an alcoholic.( I am not). I wont see her until next Summer, a full YEAR after my surgery. And I avoid talking to her on the phone. However my husband calls her a couple times a month and I know they talk about me. He will even holler at me " HEY, how much have you lost?" to tell her. And Yes I have told him not to discuss me with her.

I am a pretty private person, and I don't discuss my health with my mother in law. But it will come up when we go there. She won't leave it alone, I know her. She LIVES to Gossip about people. What can I say to this 80 year old woman? I can't be rude, but I do not want to be the topic of conversation while we are there. HELP!

Line in the sand. "I don't care to have this discussion." Make it your mantra. Don't argue, don't fight, just simply say that every time she ask until she wears herself out or gives up in frustration. That's where I'm at with my mother. I just tell her, "I'm not talking about my weight with you."