I've had family and friends tell me it's great I have looked into this for 2 years and am willing to put the work into this band surgery - but then I get the ridiculous questions of why I can't just drop the 200lbs all by myself, or if I am doing it to leave my fiance afterwards once I gain confidence back, or have I heard about all these family friends who totally went against their post-op instructions and either had the sleeve rupture, gained more weight (she is a drinker), or the one who just threw up all the time and had it removed. I am losing confidence in my support system, but all the research and reading and information I keep finding is pushing me in the direction of a healthy lifestyle for myself and for my little girl. She deserves my time, energy and a long life with me. It's just so FRUSTRATING!! Other people's inability to follow direction is not going to be my issue. But I do want to know that I'm not going to be looked down on for "taking the easy way out" or because it seems like I just want to make myself good enough to skip out on my life.

Congratulations on choosing yourself and your healthy future -- self-transformation is a very personal and powerful process. I only told a handful of people about my surgery and I have a few cheerleaders in that realm, positive spouse, etc., but the main support system I have is right here. I started reading posts in June of 2013 and was banded that November, ten months ago. I've learned so much from the people here. Compassion for one's self, patience, humor -- as well as those early days of research and trying to understand as much as possible how it would all work. When there were negative posts I just skipped over them and I guess that's what I'd do in the outside world, too -- maybe just say "blah blah blah" and walk away if you are not feeling supported by the people around you. Getting weight loss surgery gave me a tremendous amount of confidence. People who overlooked me, interrupted me (I am soft-spoken) and gave unsolicited advice don't do that anymore. I feel more in charge of my life, more alive. Happier! If there's any one in my life who isn't delighted by that then they don't belong in my life.

Thanks guys!!! I truly appreciate the words of advice and encouragement.

Do what is BEST for YOU!!!!

YOU are the most IMPORTANT person in the world.

If you take care of yourself, then everything else will fall into place.

Sometimes taking care of yourself means not listening to those who are closes to us,

Even if they "mean well"

For those of us that has had the weight loss surgery, is it easy? NO

It does not matter how a person chooses to lose weight, it is never easy.

Stay focused and stay positive and stay here on this forum.

Sending positive vibes and energy your way.

Edited October 1, 201411 yr by Sweet Pee

You are wonderful! Thanks for the positivity and words of encouragement!

There are always horror stories, some of them true, some less so. You are smart to realize the people you thought would be your support system are not supportive - or at least they aren't for the moment. That might change as you go through this and they see how well it works. They probably just don't really know what it is, and how it works, and that you are dedicated enough to take full advantage of it. Give them a little time. My family was supportive, but suspect, mostly because of worrying. After a while they began to see first hand what was possible, and they changed their minds.

One thing for sure - it's not easy, and it requires 100% commitment from us in order to succeed. There is nothing magic about it, but I still feel it's nothing short of miraculous! For the first time in my life, as long as I do what I am supposed to, I get the desired result. Never had that before with weight loss/maintenance. It made the impossible finally possible.

Shell88, Hello and I would like to tell you I too have lost some of my support and I am due to have surgery at the very end of this year, and I am so confused right now as to what I am going to do, but I will say this and For people to say Weight Loss surgery is THE EASY WAY OUT, that to me just shows their stupidity. This surgery is going to be one of the hardest things we will ever do in our lives, , I tell people all the time from the day we have this surgery till we die we will have to be aware of every thing we put in our mouth, we know if a pound comes back on someone is going to say but once we decide to do it , we have to know the only person we need answers to is OURSELF so stay strong and do what you believe in your heart is right for you. GOOD LUCK

Thank you @@hopeful one

Pre surgery isn't even a piece of cake! With all we need to do beforehand - it's become almost a second job (I'm in a doctor's office or hospital for tests at least 2 or 3 times a week on top of my full time job lol!). I know it's definitely worth it for us.... Just a lot more work than a gym membership!

Last New Year's resolution was to become selfish. I don't have a selfish bone in my body. If I don't take care of me, who will?

Diet and exercise...hmmm let's see...medical research gives that a success rate of less than 3%. And how is it that otherwise intelligent people, up to and including physicians, still suggest it boggles the mind. I wonder if they would recommend you take a medicine or have a surgery if it only came with a 3% chance of long-term success?

I know plenty of people who do weight watchers, Jenny Craig, medifast, zone, atkins, south beah and whatever new diet that pops up...I used to be one of them...now that I have my sleeve, I don't have to worry about food. I'm never really hungry, I don't have cravings, and I hope one day to reach my goal weight.

I could lose 10-15 pounds on a diet, sabotage myself and then gain back double. My family has a long history of obesity on both sides. It is something I inherited, that and my love of food.

I watched my mom eat her way to 350 pounds during her abusive relationship with my dad. Although, growing up with such large family members, I never knew it was "bad." We always had to clean our plates, we were encouraged to eat seconds, and sometimes even thirds. Portions were always large, and even now I still cook for at least 6 people, even when it is only my hubby and I.

I am 3 weeks post op as of yesterday, and for once I feel like food no longer controls me. I don't wake up jonesing for food, like some crave cigarettes.

I do hope that the nausea I experience will pass soon, and that one day I will be able to eat a little bit more than I can now. As of now, I eat such small portions, it's no wonder I am still exhausted. My sister who is about 125 pounds can out eat me now LOL, and she eats such small portions already.

I went for the endoscopy today.... boy was that NOT fun. My throat hurts, stomach is cramping.... and my fiance dropped me off and left - so when they went to find him 15 minutes after first going in - he was gone! And of course not back in time when the test was over and they were ready to discharge me.... love the support there

Hang in there Shell88. You sound like a strong woman. Your story is encouraging and inspiring countless of other people to be brave and strong. Thinking back, I did not have any support either, but reading about others who went at this alone helped me to push forward and never look back.

Thank you so much @@Sweet Pee - however I find you to be inspiring to me! 140+ lbs is an amazing concept to me, and I think it's fantastic you pushed and got that far on your own... congrats, I'll see you on the other side! :-)

Don't listen to anyone. This is your decision. My children were against my Lap band surgery. I was at the point that I could barely walk. I had lost and gained weight all my life. It took me 2 years to finally make this decision. Best decision ever. No regrets. I lost my weight and it changed my whole outlook on eating properly.