So I have had a rough month. My weight has flucuated between 325 and 330..Never below 325 and never above 330...The last month my boyfriend and I have had some major issues and my emotions have been all over the place..well a year ago I would have just ate those feelings away...and I have found myself doing that. Eating a piece or two of candy or cake when I didnt want it and sure didnt need it. My well Ex boyfriend and I broke up on Saturday..and its reasoning was the connection just wasnt there anymore...3 years and no connection..hmm..I think he got used to me being over 400 lbs and was comfortable that i wasnt going anywhere because I thought no one else would wnt me...I felt disgusting, but he made me feel beautiful so I stayed..3 years..To say my heart is broken is an understatement..I loved that jerk with every ounce of my being..and when I lose some weight and get healthy for myself and start dressing cuter because the clothes are smaller and I can find cute stuff..he doesnt like it. I told him I wasnt doing it for him I was doing it for ME and I guess he didnt like that. I am 11 months and 3 days post op..My 1 year bandiversary is on Valentines day..which I obviously will spend alone this year. I need to find a way to redirect my emotions away from the candy isle...I did better Monday and Tuesday I worked my ass off at the gym so maybe thats what I need to do. I knew this was going to be an emotional journey...my body changing and not recognizing the person in the mirror...but I didnt realize I would lose him in the process..I still think I made a good decision by having the surgery because my health is getting better..I just need some motiviation because right now..I have none.

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time right now. I can't offer anything but support, virtual though it may be. Just know that somewhere out there is someone who is thinking of you and wishing you well.

I am very sorry to hear of your emotional roller coaster. You trust someone with your heart and then find their motivation in the relationship is less than what you imagined. Never doubt that you made the right decision to get healthy even if it meant losing him. Perhaps, as you heal, you will realize that losing him will make you even healthier in mind. Cutting lots of dead weight all at once. Make the decision to get back on track, but give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship.

I'm old school on breakups,,,,,, probably bc I'm old. If it were me, I'd work my butt off in that gym EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'd work my band like a Rock Star.... REVENGE, in the form of "See what you missed out on" would be my mantra. Breakups are a Bummer (you know I want to say B----), I've been there for two daughters through theirs and I went through one or two of my own. Like Gloria Gaynor sings, "I WILL SURVIVE." and so will YOU. Best of Luck!

no it doesnt

i am dealing with in law issues

major work changes/adjustments

my son in england for 4 years and for some reason

the house hold bills continue to show up every month..WTF is that about?

so yep, i was the first to grab coors light or junk food or the nearest drive thru for that instant food gasm......NOW, i just vent it out and not do what i use to do ......as what i use do does not do me nor anyone else any good....

do i want to pig out.......you know it......

but i dig down deep and put my shoulders back and face it head on

keep the wind at your front and the hell at your back GF...

Edited January 17, 201412 yr by ☠carolinagirl☠

food gasm...yep, perfect term carolina girl..perfect.

I'm sorry to hear about the turmoil going on for you. Stress and emotions can take a toll on our health as well. The best advice I have for you is to love yourself.

Sure this Valentines day is coming and while you may not have a significant "other" this holiday, you have you! A healthier if not happier you! So embrace yourself, and plan to be your own Valentine this year my friend!

Get out there and rock your band, take it out dancing, to the movies or even for a walk around the block. You deserve some extra TLC.

Connections with friends, family and loved ones waxes and wanes, and some people are more comfortable having someone who is dependent on them. The reasons you state for your breakup say more about the other person then they do about you. So let him come to grips with his issues while you keep loving and taking care of yourself!

If you can see things from another perspective, the emotions may be a little less and workable for you. Then you can pass up that cake and candy and go for a nice Protein bar or shake instead!

{{{hugs}}}

You are doing so well, Candace -- we sure do learn a lot about ourselves in this process of choosing ourselves and our health first. Not every one is going to be on board with that. Misery loves company and misery is not for you. Not any more. Good luck with everything, including Valentine's Day. You are not really alone, you are on a path of healing and you will be surprised where you are a month, a season and a year from now. Best wishes!

I am very sad about you and your relationship with you ex-boyfriend. But - I am so proud of you! You have come a really long way! I am an emotional eater too - so I get that!

Sometimes people cannot handle the weight loss of another person. I don't understand why people just can't be happy for one another, but that always isn't the case. And - sometimes - you have to cut people out of your life that is not good for you. I've had to do that in my life before and although it is painful at the time, it was always the best thing for me to do.

Because you mentioned that you are an emotional eater, it is good for you to substitute that (like exercise). Exercise also helps with anxiety, which is the main part of being an emotional eater. I think that you are doing the right thing by exercising when you are stressed or feel anxious. That doesn't mean that you have to kill yourself at the gym - go take a walk just enjoy the surroundings or go with a friend (anything to keep your mind off things for a little while). In time, it will get easier.

It is going to take time to get over your relationship and it hurts! Just be good to yourself - you deserve it. You made a change to improve your life and you have made strides to achieve that. Stay strong - if you need to vent or need to talk - just let me know (be glad to help). Just stay on here - stay on this forum, these people here will give you some emotional support through your journey that you need! I sure need it! Take Care & keep us updated on you

As you stated you are doing this for you and not for anyone else , even though you loved him , life will go on you have lost lbs and look at it this way what ever he weighed you lost that amount also lol so keep on your track and let him go to his own lane as there will be someone else trying to merge into yours so keep on your journey , it is a a winding road into a straight path to being healthy.

Hugs to you girlfriend. Remember this journey is all about you. Relationships with both males and females will come and go. Stay true to yourself and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Congratulations on what you have lost in weight so far. Continued success.

no it doesnt i am dealing with in law issues major work changes/adjustments my son in england for 4 years and for some reason the house hold bills continue to show up every month..WTF is that about? so yep, i was the first to grab coors light or junk food or the nearest drive thru for that instant food gasm......NOW, i just vent it out and not do what i use to do ......as what i use do does not do me nor anyone else any good.... do i want to pig out.......you know it...... but i dig down deep and put my shoulders back and face it head on keep the wind at your front and the hell at your back GF...

"Blush". She said gasm.

I am 11 months and 3 days post op..My 1 year bandiversary is on Valentines day....I just need some motiviation because right now..I have none.

Need motivation????

Maybe take a look at your ticker......it says you've lost 103 lbs in less than a year.....

Best wishes on your continued success

Thank you everyone! The support on this forum is simply amazing!! I feel much better this week and putting all my emotions into my gym work outs is going great..I feel so much more better about where I am with my band...Major things happening in life makes you want to rethink everything that has happened upto that point.. I am better off without someone who thinks that 417 lbs is good enough and where I need to be..My health was in bad shape as was my self confidence..my health is better now even though I still have a ways to go, Keeping my head up and my eyes on the prize!

Thanks again!

Candace,

You are amazing! You're putting yourself first (finally). I know it hurts after being with the same person for a number of years. Remember, your prize is a healthier you! Keep up the good work!

Hi Candace- here's the truism to life- there will ALWAYS be SOMETHING. Always. Relationships, money, family, illness, death, stress, etc. And for so long we turned to food for comfort and - love- and it worked for the moment, but it doesn't last so you need that next food fix and then, of course, you need bigger and bigger clothes. And you get unhealthy and unhappy.

So YAY FOR YOU for doing something about it! Now, you need to make a list of what you can do besides eat. AND you need to remember you're not perfect and you can start over. I had a major backslide for ~almost~ a year due to diving back into my biggest trigger food (like Voldemort, it is a name I dare not speak, LOL). BUT, I pulled my head out of my a$$ and got back in the saddle, lost the re-gain and am back down the scale. SO, you can make this work, think of alternatives to eating, brush your teeth, chew gum, make a deal with yourself that if you don't pig out then you can get a manicure, etc.

And if you're not logging your food, may I suggest doing so? It's so very helpful.

You are doing GREAT, don't let someone who obviously doesn't love you for you, no matter the size, stop you from being the happiest and healthiest you can be!!!

And that's my $.02.

Nicki