HealthyNewMe

OMG..... I forgot all about how, in my twenties, I would buy my stockpile of junk food on Friday afternoons (including the big ole bucket of chicken) and not resurface to the world until Monday mornings.... I just broke down and had a good cry..... ...... ...... ......

This will be my second Thanksgiving living as a BANDED person. My plan is to let the band do its work.....In other words, I will NOT be able to gorge, overeat, or stuff myself, so I will eat a small amount of what I want to eat......turkey, oyster dressing, green Beans, and a baked sweet potato. I'm cooking for 25 people, so some things never change!!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my BARIATRICPAL friends.

This will be my second Thanksgiving living as a BANDED person. My plan is to let the band do its work.....In other words, I will NOT be able to gorge, overeat, or stuff myself, so I will eat a small amount of what I want to eat......turkey, oyster dressing, green Beans, and a baked sweet potato. I'm cooking for 25 people, so some things never change!!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my BARIATRICPAL friends.

This will be my second Thanksgiving living as a BANDED person. My plan is to let the band do its work.....In other words, I will NOT be able to gorge, overeat, or stuff myself, so I will eat a small amount of what I want to eat......turkey, oyster dressing, green Beans, and a baked sweet potato. I'm cooking for 25 people, so some things never change!!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my BARIATRICPAL friends.

This will be my second Thanksgiving living as a BANDED person. My plan is to let the band do its work.....In other words, I will NOT be able to gorge, overeat, or stuff myself, so I will eat a small amount of what I want to eat......turkey, oyster dressing, green Beans, and a baked sweet potato. I'm cooking for 25 people, so some things never change!!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my BARIATRICPAL friends.

I love the imagery of this photo. It's so important to just keep chipping away, take our time, and be methodical yet gentle with ourselves as we transform.

I love it that she's not in a hurry and she isn't frantic. She actually looks relaxed and content, like she knows she's transforming, knows she is beautiful and is content and comfortable within the process of change. She isn't desperate and she isn't racing to be different. She isn't busting off huge chunks of rock which could actually damage the final product of her labor of love.....her labor of self-love.

And while she is relaxed and chipping away do you notice that she is half-way done? With no struggle, no war against herself? She is half way there and the bits of rock all around her on the ground are a testament to her gentle, persistent drive toward transformation.

I think all of us who sometimes struggle to change faster choose ways that aren't always gentle or kind to speed things up. We can forget, me included, at times that the transformation is in the daily process of chipping, rather than a destination we arrive at when a certain number is achieved. This is an image worth studying periodically on our WLS journey. Are we as comfortable in the present moment of our journey as she is?

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

I was on the boards for over a year pre-op, and inhaled all kinds of stories. I was (I believe) adequately prepared for how the VSG would be a tool, would offer a brief time (1 year) to build new skills, deal with surprising upsets about not being able to soothe myself with food. I also realized I needed to be in therapy, during my journey -- I call it my Year of Losing Weight, my Year of Maintaining my Weight, and Boring Real Life. That's my therapy commitment -- three years.
I'm old enough to know that life isn't an endless honeymoon. Boredom, habits and real life end all honeymoons. And then the marriage begins.
So I was well prepared.
I do see those who are starstruck and want to wake up 365 days later and find themselves Cinderella at the Ball being chased around the floor by The Prince. I see some who are, frankly, not smart enough to appreciate what they're doing to themselves and what it will mean. I seem some who thought they were ready, but find it so much harder to adapt than they'd dreamed. Some of those adapt. Some of them don't. I see some who can't be compliant because they're too food-addicted or simply unable to follow directions or those who can't let anyone be the boss of them or those who think they're too special to do it the boring way everyone else does.
I see the perfection puppies, the alcoholics, the ones whose lives are a train wreck with no space in it for self-protection, the wounded adult children, the smart ones who can fix everything but their weight. I see those with bad surgeons and inattentive care. I see those with no support at home or outright antagonism and hate disguised as nagging. People who are desperate enough to have weight loss surgery are not all in mental spaces or physical spaces that are safe enough for them to undergo WLS and its aftermath.
Of course, I see people who do well. A lot of them are older. They know it won't be perfect, but they're patient. They have seen tough times, and they aren't shocked by some tough things about WLS. They're a bit long-suffering and don't bitch about every new food that doesn't thrill their palate. They can tolerate temporary discomfort to get to the easier times two months out. In a word, they're just compliant -- or as compliant as they can be. They don't beat themselves up when they're not perfect and they are resilient enough to get back on the path without being a drama llama about it.
They don't start threads with titles like: "Oy vey ist mir!" or "Will I ever be happy again?" or "Please tell me this won't last forever." They already know they'll be happy again, that this won't last forever, and that ein bischen vey doesn't require a clickbait thread title.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

Great post! ( Here are my responses. Banded June 2013- 111lbs lost)
What were you told prior to surgery about life after surgery that was not entirely true or was not the entire story? The band does not stop head hunger or make you magically stop craving food. The first 90days are tough in maintaining enough Protein and Fluid. Now it is second nature but those first few months are very challenging. I thought I would be stuffed after eating 2-3 baby bites of everything

What do you wish you had fully understood prior to surgery that you did not and what do you believe would have put you in the best possible position to succeed after surgery?
I wish I knew why I was fat in the first place. Understanding the emotional issues might make it easier for some to remain on the right track. I also had lists of suggested foods but would have liked a maybe some menu examples from my surgical team to make it a little easier at first. Dealing with the social aspect of eating was hard on me
What information, if any, was missing in the lead-up to your surgery that gave you unreasonable expectations or that led to disappointment in the months or years since surgery? I was given detailed medical information but would have loved to hear about others challenges in the event I was at a plateau or feeling down. All the focus is on the procedure and not how you will feel as the lbs come off.
Overall
I wish I was better prepared for all of the nosy people who either told me I was taking the easy way out that I should lose weight the "right ' way OR tell me I am not eating enough and am getting malnourished. When you lose weight you see that all of your friends are not always supportive and in fact they may be jealous. That still hurts

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

I'll be subscribing to this thread. Thank you for bringing this up. I am pre surgery but I have an interesting prospective. I have been feeling a bit like an imposter my entire process for getting qualified for surgery. This, WLS, is supposed to be the like the last house on the block. We were supposed to have tried and failed miserably at the weight loss thing and never had any long term success at losing weight, but this has not been my exact story.
In 2005, I lost 140# without surgery. I discovered that I have a sensitivity to gluten and sugar and I stopped eating junk food. I didn't exercise but the weight literally fell off my body. I was lighter than I had been my entire adult life. I went from 320# to180# in about 8 months probably averaging about the same clip as a bypass patient I'm imagining. I had some feelings of euphoria, but mostly I felt like a live electrical wire. My comfy fat, my safe place to hide from the world was suddenly gone and I felt as if I was practically electrocuted if I would even brush by furniture too hard. I had trouble sleeping with the new sensations of my knees, ankles and toes rubbing together aching for their familiar cushion and I felt horribly uncomfortable if anything including clothes touched my newly discovered clavicles. I cried at random and inconvenient intervals. I stayed at this low weight for a VERY short time and hovered comfortably at 200 for many many years.
I was never prepared for and have never heard ppl taking about how to just be and reside in a body, newly formed and considerably smaller. How do we really listen and hear and feel in a body with new sensations and dimensions? How do we become like the normies I call them, those people who never ever gain weight while we constantly were ballooning up and dieting down the scale?
What were/are we to do with our one life outside of food? I know I have the tendency to want the newer, sexier, more interesting route to any destination, like success with even WLS can't just be about plain old (following the prescribed) diet and exercise, can it? I'm still wondering if the surgery is just the newest thing for me. I switched my surgical consideration from sleeve to bypass for this very reason. Because if I'm going to do it, I need to go old school. With me it had to be vegan, raw, paleo and Crossfit. Zero to sixty. Never just walking, always training for the half.
What happens when the proverbial dust settles and it's not about the food anymore and the weight is lost? When the life I thought weight loss or this surgery would fix is still going forward unchanged? Sitting in this empty space with myself without support and resources or a clue is what made maintenance so elusive and probably so for most people who've lost massive amounts of weight with or without surgery and gained it back. Will having had a glimpse of being thin for a while make me a better bariatric patient, more compliant? Perhaps, or maybe not but at this stage in the game I can't take anything for granted but these are the questions that are clearer in hindsight and that I need to formulate a plan for now on this side of surgery.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

What I wish I would have known prior to surgery, but did not believe was......that I would have such body dismorphic images as I lost the weight. I did not realize how hard it would be to see myself as a normal weight being. By not being prepared for that, it makes it hard for me to SEE the progress I am truly making. I do get a glimpse into reality about my body when comparing PICTURES, but still struggle seeing it in the mirror. I think I also had unreasonable expectations about what is considered "good/healthy" weight loss on a monthly basis. I thought the weight would drop off more quickly, and that one to two pounds a week (four to eight pounds a month) seemed way too slow....... It really wasn't until after I had the surgery, when going to monthly doctor's appoinments that I came to lower my PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS and find a more REALISTIC EXPECTATION.

I am a lap-band patient and was diabetic at the time of my surgery. I've lost 135 lbs. I was taking metformin at the time of my surgery to control my blood glucose levels. I was weaned off the medication several months ago and my latest A1C level was 4.9. Random blood sugar checks over the last month have been anywhere between 70-90 so I would expect that A1c number to be even better at the next check. So it seems that my diabetes has resolved

Thank you for your very kind and thoughtful comment, but I am hardly as wise or accomplished as Mandela or Twain, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Your tip for writing letters is a great idea!

Mark Twain, Nelson Mandela, and Dr. Duc Vuong are all very insightful people. How often I have carried resentment around with me......like a weighted chain. It was definitely MY BURDEN and no one else's. I often release resentment by writing a letter to the one I have had negative feelings for. Never mailed, but released from my mind. Thanks for your ABC's of Weight Loss Surgury Success.