A message about hurt feelings on another thread reminded me of one of those moments when a zinger hits you without warning. I thought that probably everyone has had one of those moments and venting it here may help remove some of the punch. After all, it's not the sort of stuff you can vent in normal conversation.

One of my moments happened when we were on a four hour hike through the mammoth cave in kentucky. At mid point through the cave the guide is supposed to tell interesting stories and facts about the cave. He asked if anyone had any questions, so since we were two hours hike in both directions from the exit, I asked what they would do if someone had a heart attack there in the cave. WELL, He said, "they would die. AND ma'm I don't want to hurt your feelings but obesity is the main cause for that." :embarassed: The group was about 120 people, all of whom became quiet and wanted to see what obese person had asked that question. I was mortified. I hadn't been feeling all that "fat" that day (you all know that "fat" is a feeling like sadness), and as I always notice whether or not I am the largest person in the room (that day I wasn't), I suddenly became so huge that any interest in the rest of the tour was impossible.

If you are ever in mammoth caves, avoid the skinny old man tour guide who brags about his 28 inch waist. He is a jerk.

Personally, I'd tell him to buggar off.

A body going through weight loss doesn't get better quickly. Fat is replaced with sag and wrinkles. What will he say then?

Going, i thought of you again today.

Rent a movie called "singles". has nothing to do with wieght. has to do with relationships and it might be reassuring that EVEN THIN PEOPLE HAVE MESSED UP RELATIONSHIPS!!! my favorite part though is when bridget fonda has the realization that her boyfriend is a self aborbed doof, and she says, "i can just break up with him" and she does, and shes happy. Ooh go watch it, right now right this minute.

now.

right this second.

go get it.

its called "singles".

go now.

report back.

Although I've been lucky enough to not have people be as disgustingly rude as some of the people in all of your pasts, I can totally relate to each and every one of you. In reading all of this, what I still can't figure out is why does it take all of us an online forum for us to confide in one another and look for emotional support? I am just as guilty of it. I have been around other fat people before and talking about food and stuff, and I can rarely remember any one of them telling me about how sad or unhappy they were in their current situation in life. They never said, someone was really cruel to me today and it really hurt. It's like we beat up ourselves so much for being fat that we can't even confide in other fat friends and show each other love because we hide our feelings instead like we don't deserve the comfort it would bring to confess them. What I am getting at, is that I am glad I found a place to come each day and read about others just like me that feel like they deserve happiness for themselves and for others like themselves. When I read these posts, I don't see people who hate themselves, or lazy people, or people with no self-control (despite how the media portrays us). I see people who have been cursed with a horrible disease called obesity and who are taking control of their lives and sharing their lives with people who need support and love. It's nice to talk to fat people that finally feel like they are worth it and so am I to share their stories and help each other cope with all we have been through. :clap2:

I hated when I "was fat" and people would talk about how pretty my eyes were. I have lost about 120 pounds in the last year and a half. I ran into a girl that had been in birthing classes with me about three years earlier. She ran up to me telling me how "cool" it was that we were both having babies again at the same time. The one that really ticks me off is guys that flirt with me now that did not even know I existed before. I just walk away from them and do not even give them the satisfaction of the flirt.

The one that really ticks me off is guys that flirt with me now that did not even know I existed before. I just walk away from them and do not even give them the satisfaction of the flirt.

I know it's frustrating, because it makes them look really shallow, but you might also realize that weight aside, you may not be the same person you were totally.

I know for me, I have more confidence. I look people in the eye more and smile more. I think that sometimes is as appealing to other people as body size.

Hi evryone, thanks for your feedback. My bf felt really bad saying what he said, i was so cut cause it was the first time he ever said anything like that and we have been 2gether 10months. he later realised what he said and apologised. he is suppotive of me thruout my op. made he made a promise that he will never make a remark like that again and i accepted. thanks again everyone for your feedback! Just a reminder , you are all doing great and i commend you all...xxoo

going down,

I think that your bf should be forgiven. Sometimes, even if someone knows it is going to hurt, they still don't realize how much it really hurts and how long the hurt lasts. Even if he thinks that about you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or love you. It doesn't have anything to do with your worth to him. Let it be his moment of being an ass and let it go. Good luck you guys!

I have a hobbie of being a stand up comedian, I travel sometimes do some shows work the clubs, and my whole act is based off being fat, I am worried I will miss myself but I really dont care about it, I mean I am adding years to my life here, I feel like once i do this the fat me will die and a me i have never seen will be born, i kinda like that idea. And as far as the hurtful stuff, since i do a lot of fat jokes (all about myself) people love to chime in about my fatness as well, I does bother me very much, I can not wait till the fat jokes end ,from me and everyone else, the day I don't call myself fat will be my best day.

Biggie - you can still do diet jokes... you will just have to tell them that you lost x number of pounds...

Good Luck working up your new routine!... The things you DON'T miss about being fat...

:]

Hi, I just had surgery 1 month ago so no one really can see much of a difference yet, I wear a stupid black smock at my retail job but my pants have become very baggy. Anyhow, yesterday a customer said to me boy I sure hope that surgery will work for you after youv'e spent all that money! I know it's my fault for telling people but I can't beleive that they think I am going to look like a whole new person in 1 month!!!! I really don't think this person was trying to be a bitch, I think it is just her lack of info on lapband surgery. I'm happy with my results so far and that is what counts.I love my band. Sunnysea

Many years ago I caught myself thinking how pretty someone was or what pretty hair,skin or eyes someone had. It hit me that I should let the person know I thought they were pretty or I liked their hairstyle - why keep positive thoughts like that to myself?

I never dreamed I might hurt someone's feelings if I commented that they had beautiful skin or a lovely smile. I love compliments and assumed other people liked them too - especially when they are sincere. Please don't assume that anyone complimenting you automatically finishes their compliment thinking, "for a fat person" or anything of the kind. You just might have the prettiest eyes or smile that person has seen in a while!

A lot of times it is our own insecurities that add the, "for a fat person" after a compliment. I know that I am definitely my own worst enemy and NO ONE has ever said anything meaner to me than I have thought to myself about myself.

Good point Moody.

Hey Stacy G I'm going to place a Mary Kay order in a couple of days. Do you or your family members need anything. Anyone else reading this can also place an order on my website if you'd like. I don't want anyone to feel left out:) www.marykay.com/mlowrey Creditcard accepted..

When I was younger my grandmother would measure her waist, then measure mine. So, when my waist got bigger than hers, she bragged that she was smaller. She also told me things like "no man would ever marry a fat woman" and "you can't be a good wife if you are fat". And the worse one....."REDUCE!!!!!" :angry

Hey Stacy G I'm going to place a Mary Kay order in a couple of days. Do you or your family members need anything. Anyone else reading this can also place an order on my website if you'd like. I don't want anyone to feel left out:) www.marykay.com/mlowrey Creditcard accepted..

Does MK still have the same fingernail stuff line? It was five layers of stuff to make your nails really hard. It works too. Bottom coat, brown stuff, polish, brown stuff, top coat, something like that. It's been years since I used it.