Hubby Doesnt Like Me Now

[Kelsnikol 63]

babes...........I am a plus sized beautiful queen and my hubby was Mr. Bahamas. When we first got together there were a lot of questions about how this beautiful man liked or wanted to marry me!! and now i have had my surgery and he is worried shitless.....all his insecurities are showing but all I say is "now you get to see what i went through"....I have always realized my worth and now he appreciates me more

Same here! Mr. quarterback blah blah! I would always hear the why her behind my back. My weight has nothing to do with my heart! My husband was a little insecure about me wanting to have this done, but I reassured him that he is the man who loved me when i've been big this whole time..why would I settle for someone who didnt want me when I was big just when I could possibly be skinny. Your husband should love you no matter what, and it's him who is afraid he is going to lose me. But I reassure him that he is not. I couldn't imagine him not being supportive and saying things like that to me, I hope you get the help you need!

[hollyr 49]

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I appreciate all the comments (good and bad).

We have been in counseling both together and me solo. I think it is helping. The comments he had said previously has stopped and I think he is starting to accept and enjoy the new me now. He is also joining me at the gym at night ( I go twice a day during the week). And he is getting over his own insecurities.

He never wanted me to have this surgery. One reason was because he was afraid something would happen to me. If you have seen my other posts you know that the worst did happen and I nearly died from this. Literally. I believe he was angry at me in a way just as he was my doctors because none of this started off positive. I am 8 mths post op and still have significant issues. But again we are talking about it and communicating more than we ever did.

Thanks again to all who have replied both publicly and privately.

Holly

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

Glad u came nd updated ur situation for those who was concerned about u. It's good to know that you both are making positive changes but most importantly Im glad that you are making the changes within yourself so that you will know your self worth! Just like this weight loss surgery, life is a journey as well as your marriage is a journey. soif you are willing to make a positive change in yourself but loving urself first and then if he is willing to make a positive change in himself then all anyone can do is wish you both the best! keep us informed, esp if u need us, congrats on your weight loss nd you get better soon. take care. Dee Dee

[mariamitani 405]

Communication is the number one relationship killer, Im glad your doing well together.

[dma2013 99]

Wow, regardless of your "unique" relationship you should feel loved and respected and clearly you do not and that is not okay. It does not sound like a healthy marriage, I hope you get the help guidance you need.

[penman53 493]

Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time.

Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts.

Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me.

I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed

Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money.

Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now.

If it is any consolation, I think you're super hot

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[devichan 79]

Holly,

I'm so glad you updated.

I've been debating posting this, but I'm in a polyamorous relationship and I have been since 1993. It sounds like you two are finally getting to the Successful Poly Mantra: Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you need someone to talk to about multipartner issues who has been there and made it work, please feel free to PM me. If you think that was a side effect of other issues and you're fundamentally monogamous, you can still PM me and I'll listen.

I wish you the best and healthiest outcome for everyone concerned!!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I appreciate all the comments (good and bad).

We have been in counseling both together and me solo. I think it is helping. The comments he had said previously has stopped and I think he is starting to accept and enjoy the new me now. He is also joining me at the gym at night ( I go twice a day during the week). And he is getting over his own insecurities.

He never wanted me to have this surgery. One reason was because he was afraid something would happen to me. If you have seen my other posts you know that the worst did happen and I nearly died from this. Literally. I believe he was angry at me in a way just as he was my doctors because none of this started off positive. I am 8 mths post op and still have significant issues. But again we are talking about it and communicating more than we ever did.

Thanks again to all who have replied both publicly and privately.

Holly

Sent from my iPhone using VST

I'm happy to here u guys are moving forward one day at a time .. Hope for the best for the both if you .. Congrats to getting your husband back one day at a time

[nsweety123 19]

Don't worry one man's junk (pardon the word)is another mans treasure hang in there if your realtionship is that unique i am sure once you find someone attractive to you he will have a problem.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Don't worry one man's junk (pardon the word)is another mans treasure hang in there if your realtionship is that unique i am sure once you find someone attractive to you he will have a problem.

Did u here there working it out .. You ain't saying thing she hasn't heard .. Oh I don't think u read the whole thread lol

[nsweety123 19]

Wow never said i didn't read the whole tread because i did and my answer still stands sorry but it is what it is. Keep working on the relationship I envy you for being open and honest with us and glad you can hear good or bad. You look great.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

That's sounds more like it .,

[OKSleever 144]

Holly' date='

I'm so glad you updated.

I've been debating posting this, but I'm in a polyamorous relationship and I have been since 1993. It sounds like you two are finally getting to the Successful Poly Mantra: Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you need someone to talk to about multipartner issues who has been there and made it work, please feel free to PM me. If you think that was a side effect of other issues and you're fundamentally monogamous, you can still PM me and I'll listen.

I wish you the best and healthiest outcome for everyone concerned!![/quote']

Thank you for posting. While I agree that the OP's relationship doesn't sound like a healthy example of poly, it was pretty disheartening to read all the comments about how if he really loved her, he would never want to look at another woman again. I love my husband. Doesn't mean I will never look at another person in a sexual way!

[Damaris67 76]

EVERYTHING LAURA- VEN said!

[bruised but not broken 12]

As Doctor Phil would say "How's this working for you? Kick that boy's a$$ to the curb" 'Nuff said.

Thats what im talking bout,,,,,,,Tell him." dont let the door hit ya. where the good lord split ya!!!!"