Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time.

Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts.

Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me.

I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed

Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money.

Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now.

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I am so sad that you had to hear that from your husband. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. Hang in there. As long as you like you, that is all that matters. *hugs*

You can handle him looking at "hot chicks"

But do you like it? I mean you have a unique relationship... But is that something that is acceptable? Listening to who he wants outside of the marriage?

I am sorry you are experiencing this in your relationship. I am glad you are seeking professional help. Hang in there! Best Wishes Tina

That's one very shallow man you have there.

Can you say a***ole!!!! You may have been over weight, but he is just STUPID to say something like that to you after all your hard work and what you have been through.....you are losing the weight,,,,,but he can't fix being STUPID!!!! Girl don't take that crap....from the one person who is supposed to support you. You need to surround your self with your real supporters and ditch dead weight.....pun intended.

Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time.

Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts.

Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me.

I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed

Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money.

Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

So sorry to hear of the way your husband is acting toward you. Good luck and I'm sure the shrink your seeing will help you get through this and so will we : ) keeping being you :HUGS:

He sure sounds like my first husband. Is his name Gene, too? He convinced me to have a "unique" relationship, too. You need to drag his butt into counseling with you! He's a narcissistic ass who isn't honoring his marriage vows to love you through thick AND thin. I doubt he's going to change. I suggest you lose another 180-200 lbs by shedding that burden. I would never recommend divorce before, but, oh, my gosh, he sounds like my ex and ending that relationship was the healthiest thing I ever did!

Whatever you make peace with, start being a little more self-centered. You deserve it and it will throw Mr Have-My-Cake-And-Eat-It-Too off balance.

Divorce.

Don't waste your time. Life is too short to miss out on true happiness. Yes divorce is a scary, harsh word but you do not sound happy and in love with this man. Who could blame you?

He sure sounds like my first husband. Is his name Gene' date=' too? He convinced me to have a "unique" relationship, too. You need to drag his butt into counseling with you! He's a narcissistic ass who isn't honoring his marriage vows to love you through thick AND thin. I doubt he's going to change. I suggest you lose another 180-200 lbs by shedding that burden. I would never recommend divorce before, but, oh, my gosh, he sounds like my ex and ending that relationship was the healthiest thing I ever did!

Whatever you make peace with, start being a little more self-centered. You deserve it and it will throw Mr Have-My-Cake-And-Eat-It-Too off balance.[/quote']

Narcissistic will never change! Truly difficult to deal with. I'd never invite that into my life, I deal with a few (via blood) and if they weren't family.... Sigh...

I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend- they exist ladies (and gentlemen), don't settle.

Never settle.

Sounds like y'all had relationship problems before the surgery so naturally those won't go away. I wonder If you were ever 'okay' with this 'unique' relationship or if you did how a lot of women do and put up with it or convince yourself you're happy bc you don't think you deserve more.

If he does not feel attracted to you now that you are losing weight an probably feeling more attractive, maybe he is threatened by your newfound confidence and swagger.

I hate to say this and maybe this is just my warped opinion, but I think women can fall into a controlling relationship when they are overweight and certain men can use those 'fat insecurities' we have to get what they want (ie a 'unique' relationship).

Just my two cents and it may be I think this way bc I had a controlling boyfriend as well who I now realize loved me as far as he could throw me... And I was over two hundred pounds so not very far!

Good luck to you. I say do you and nurture your own happiness outside of the relationship. You change and he will be forced to.

I tend to agree with the theory that he is threatened by your new body and frame of mind. I understand the unique relationship thing and I think that with the freedom he enjoys the very least he can do is be supportive and encouraging towards you.

So with those thoughts in mind, I would say what an idiot you have on your hands, Good luck to him in finding a woman he does "like" that will allow him the same freedoms he has now.

I'm am so sorry you are having to deal with this BS. If it were me I would do this:

Tell him he just had his last chance at making you feel bad and the next tine the moron opens his stupid-a$$ mouth he can go find himself a "hot chick" to live with. And in the meantime I would really hope that the hot chicks can fulfill any needs he may have because I sure wouldn't be doing it. There;s plenty of hot guys around too. Perhaps one of them would like the opportunity to make you feel a little better:)

I have some friends who are married and poly. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have a healthy relationship with your spouse. Counseling is a great idea, and he does seem like a jerk.

That's his hang up and insecurities. Not yours. Don't let yourself be manipulated into assuming responsibilities for his issues.

As Doctor Phil would say "How's this working for you? Kick that boy's a$$ to the curb" 'Nuff said.

I'm so sorry you are going through this & I agree with what other's have said. I can't imagine going through this without the support of my best friend/husband. If nothing else, I hope you go through counseling for YOU because YOU deserve to be happy and not made to feel any less!!!