Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time.

Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts.

Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me.

I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed

Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money.

Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now.

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You deserve better. Counseling is a good idea, but if he doesn't improve and treat you with respect, you have many options now. Don't settle for less than great.

So sorry -- you deserve better. Hopefully over time you will have the strength to see it and be able to move on.

I wish you the best and hope that your future partner is a true partner in every sense of the word.

When we got together I told him the staring at hotties had to stop. I took it bc I was fat. After time I gave up and thought whatever.. So us doing stuff together was the only way I "knew" what/who he was doing. In my mind it was better than cheating.

I did the surgery for me 90%. But the rest was in hopes I could stop the wandering if I became hot. I have gone through so much and he was at the hospital w me every day 2.5 mths. I thought we had gotten closer but now I am wondering.

Thanks to everyone for their replies. I appreciate it and will figure out what to do. I don't want to be unhappy any more.

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Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too.

This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him.

Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that....

How much are you worth?

Oh Hell no! I would never put up with my husband saying or even thinking that way with me. I tell him he better never disrespect me by looking or anything of that nature if Im in his presence. You do not have to put up with that no matter what you weigh. Kick his ASS to the curb there is a gentleman out there for you somewhere.

Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too.

This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him.

Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that....

How much are you worth?

You're right, fat as well as thin people get cheated on.....it has nothing to do with what size we are, it has to do with their character. If Sandra Bullock can be cheated on, nobody is immune!

It seems to me that your relationship and the boundaries set for it have always been more about him than about what works for you as a couple. This man has serious issues and in my opinion character flaws. Like someone said earlier, I don't want to sound mean or to hurt you but please consider his possible motives for entering into a relationship with you in the first place. Perhaps it was because he saw no threat and felt (apparently rightfully so) that he could get away with anything. I don't think it's admirable that he came to the hospital every day while you were inpatient. That's what spouses or partners do, no brownie points earned for that. He strikes me as incredibly self absorbed and although he might love you as much as he can, he cannot love you very much. You deserve so much more than this. Please see that and accept nothing less. Our time on this earth is short. When your time is coming to an end will you be content in the knowledge that you shared your life with someone that loved you and was devoted to you or will you wish you had just one more day to feel the pain that he inflicts on you?

Why do you accept this kind of behavior?

He sounds utterly disgusting to me.

YOU deserve MUCH Better than this bum can ever give you! He has surely showed you he is not interested in you. Only giving you misery~! DUMP HIM! BEFORE he does you! He obviously loves to hurt you mentally! we are here to support YOU!

Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too.

This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him.

Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that....

How much are you worth?

Well said! I totally agree!

Sheena

I watch a lot of ID discovery and this is always how this stuff starts then you all sleep with a person who becomes to get closer to the other partner and some one gets killed! Run!!!

Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time.

Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts.

Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me.

I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed

Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money.

Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

Holly, sweetheart, listen to me. I was in a relationship for 12 years. 12 LOOOONG years. Some of them good and others very bad. Basically I learned he cheated, I would get pissed, kick him to the curb and then take his sorry as$ back because I thought no one else would want me looking the way that I do(this happened several times). I already felt worthless. I didn't value myself as an individual. Sure, I'm a freaking phenomenal person, but from the outside, nobody really knows that. He was all i knew for a LOOOONG time and after every time that he cheated (I consider cheating sleeping with another person, kissing, being intimate, and taking a girls phone number since you met her at a bar and she seemed like a cool chick). I AM A COOL FUKCING CHICK! RIGHT HERE! YOU *******! Anyway, one day, we were in the pool and the topic of marriage came up. He said, and I quote: "I could never marry you looking like this. Our wedding pictures would look horrible." That stuck with me, for a long long time. Till this day actually. I broke things off a few months ago and although there are still some lines of communication open (I'm the type of person who doesn't want to fight. I have no need for enemies) I'm much happier than I was before. Now, he sees me losing weight and all I think about is (insert Borat voice) "you will never get this! You will never get this!"

I hope you get to that place soon. The place when the past doesn't matter and all you're looking forward to is the future. Good luck!

Holly' date=' sweetheart, listen to me. I was in a relationship for 12 years. 12 LOOOONG years. Some of them good and others very bad. Basically I learned he cheated, I would get pissed, kick him to the curb and then take his sorry as back because I thought no one else would want me looking the way that I do(this happened several times). I already felt worthless. I didn't value myself as an individual. Sure, I'm a freaking phenomenal person, but from the outside, nobody really knows that. He was all i knew for a LOOOONG time and after every time that he cheated (I consider cheating sleeping with another person, kissing, being intimate, and taking a girls phone number since you met her at a bar and she seemed like a cool chick). I AM A COOL FUKCING CHICK! RIGHT HERE! YOU *******! Anyway, one day, we were in the pool and the topic of marriage came up. He said, and I quote: "I could never marry you looking like this. Our wedding pictures would look horrible." That stuck with me, for a long long time. Till this day actually. I broke things off a few months ago and although there are still some lines of communication open (I'm the type of person who doesn't want to fight. I have no need for enemies) I'm much happier than I was before. Now, he sees me losing weight and all I think about is (insert Borat voice) "you will never get this! You will never get this!"

I hope you get to that place soon. The place when the past doesn't matter and all you're looking forward to is the future. Good luck![/quote']

Aries, you're awesome. I'm happy that you're happy now. I hate seeing people in relationships with jerks. I'm glad you broke it off with him! What a tool!

Aries' date=' you're awesome. I'm happy that you're happy now. I hate seeing people in relationships with jerks. I'm glad you broke it off with him! What a tool![/quote']

Thanks Gemini what a relief to no longer be in a toxic relationship. Hope you're doing well!!

Let's see.....the forum says "Gastric sleeve success stories" She has alot of success with her sleeve and is losing weight quickly. Great. topic covered. She also has said she is going to a shrink. No one here actually knows her or her husband or an actual "whole" story...... So, contrary to the many somewhat prejudiced responses........... Holly, you and your husband and maybe the shrink or a counselor are the ones that should be working on your issues, not random bitter advice from anyone on this or other forums. Good luck.

Hollyr,

Your subject was "Hubby Doesn't Like Me Now". Well the truth is, and please forgive the harshness of what I must say, he didn't like you before either. He couldn't have liked you, or loved you, because he wouldn't do things to hurt you if he did.

This is abuse...verbal and emotional abuse...and he is an abuser. He has abused your heart and your mind. If you had esteem issues he has only added to them. You don't deserve to be mistreated regardless of what you look like or what weight you are.

When God created each one of us he created something beautiful. Find the beautiful within yourself. Learn to see yourself the way God sees you. Learn to love yourself the way God loves you. You have great value and a wonderful testimony. You were spared death because you still have a purpose. Don't allow him or anyone else to keep you from your purpose and from being the best you that you can be. Just say WOW! Meaning, (w)ith (o)r (w)ithout him you can and will achieve your life's purpose.