My 15 year old is suffering from obesity and I think she is angry that I am loosing and shes not. In fact she may gaining faster than i am loosing. Im wearing clothes she has grown out of. I dont know what to do to help her. I am so upset because I know exactly how she feels. What do i do? I make extra healthy meals and have zero junk food in house.

Exercise together, make meals together and set mini goals. My husband has lost weight while helping me with this.

Does she know that you had surgery? I have not had surgery yet (oct 18) I have a 13 year old who is weight conscience. I don't know what to say to my daughter. I'm not sure if I am goin to tell her about my surgery.

Do you excersize with her? Maybe make it a mom/daughter thing to get healthy. HMMMMM i don't know but am very curious to her some advise.

Good Luck,

I think you guys need to talk honestly about her negative feelings. Remember, not everyone will be happy with your wt. loss including some in your family. It may be that your wt. loss is triggering something in her. Good luck to you.

Try biking or playing tennis or softball or kickball, that way it's less like "exercise" and more like fun

That has got to be terrible. I am actually crying thinking about it. I know it is possible to lose weight on your own...I did it once. But it is so freakin hard! I suggest you send her on an outward bound course over the summer. You really have to help her out because she is probably in a lot of pain.

She is an overweight girl in America. Her life sucks and she is being teased and ridiculed. You may not even know she is, but she is. I would really have her go see a therapist. You see my problem is that you are supposed to sacrifice for your children and she probably feels more abandoned then jealous.

Would you ever let her get sleeved?

I was jealous when my mom was banded about 4 years ago. Now that I am doing better than her....in her eyes.....she wishes she would have done sleeve. Sadly, it's a tough world we live in. Talk with her and incorporate her in your new lifestyle. If surgery is an option for her meet with a doctor and discuss. It is possible to lose weight without surgery, but as we all know, it's tougher for a lot of us.

My soon-to-be 18 year old daughter is also obese. She dances 5 days a week, taking tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical & 2 hip hop classes, as well as a competitive dance team. We've gone to keeping all junk food out of the house, have almost no carbs but bread for sandwiches, but still manages to find stuff to eat that she shouldn't. She tells me that I'm leaving her behind and that I'm a cheater for going the surgery route. She'd love to have the surgery but not enough to go talk to her PCP about it (we have the same insurance coverage but different Drs). If she were to ever get the courage up to make the first steps, I'd help her fight tooth and nail for it, but she's not there yet.

My 15 year old is suffering from obesity and I think she is angry that I am loosing and shes not. In fact she may gaining faster than i am loosing. Im wearing clothes she has grown out of. I dont know what to do to help her. I am so upset because I know exactly how she feels. What do i do? I make extra healthy meals and have zero junk food in house.

I know how she feels. I wasn't a teenager but my whole family has always been overweight. Even with a bmi close to 40 I was always the smallest. 6 years ago my mom had bypass and lost 150 lbs. she would make comments the closer she hot to my weight that hurt my feelings. Looking back u know they were just goals she was achieving but her goals were my failures. My advice is to never compare yourself to her. Or say things like "I do it like this ". I always thought my mom could do it because she gad surgery and I didn't. Is it possible your daughter could also have the surgery?

My 6 year old daughter has told me more than once to keep my big clothes so that she can wear them when she grows up. I've told her that she will never fit into my old clothes and they will be very unfashionable by the time she is my age. I never want her to think my morbid obesity was normal or acceptable, but I don't want to obsess about the importance of getting or staying skinny. Daughters are so impressionable and it's hard to know the right thinks to say. Good luck with your daughter.

That must be tough for both of you. I dont have any children but I know what it feels like to be obese at that age. It's terrible, and I'm sure she feels like having you there to understand her struggle was a comfort but now she is going to lose that. It's tough, I didn't have any obese family members growing up so I really feel no one was there to understand my struggle. I actually began looking into WLS when I was that age. I think it's important to just be there for her, talk to her about her feelings. Explain to her your decisions. Its going to take her a while, afterall teenagers are tough even with out this added issue. Explain to her that even though you had this done you still have to commit to a healthy lifestyle and maybe you can work on that together. I agree- try to exercise together and getting in the habit of doing healthy things together. Good luck and I wish you and her both lots of success!

I know there is a cost implication but don't wear the clothes she has outgrown, seeing you in them could be causing her a lot of pain.

Thank you all for your compassion. At 15 she is not ready for surgery and the struggles mentally that go with it. I do think healthy things together are good and it will give us good quality time together. So difficult and heartbreaking. I can't imagine how she must resent me right now. I feel I have failed her.

This was my first thought. If I were back at her age and I saw my mom wearing clothes that I wish I could fit back into it would kill me inside. I remember groing up my little sister would ask to wear some of my clothes because sometimes she "just liked to wear baggy clothes and mine were just the right size". It was nfuriating and only made me turn on myself inside for being so fat my sister could use mine for "baggy" clothes. Someday, post-sleeve, I'm making it a point to get into her closet and find SOMETHING I can wear....just for my own little bit of satisfaction. Maybe some "couples" therapy where you can both work on the situation. Having a safe place where she won't be judged for what she's feeling and can vent her feelings/frustrations might help her from internalizing, and stress eating. (not sure if that's an issue with her, but I know I could put on a good show handling it in front of people, but self-punishing/ soothing myself later with something sweet and sinful.)

I know there is a cost implication but don't wear the clothes she has outgrown, seeing you in them could be causing her a lot of pain.