hey. my name is michelle. i'm 20 years old living by myself at the second largest university in the us. i'm having some major struggles with being almost one month post op and supposed to be living it up in college. it's supposed to be the best years of my life, yet i feel so trapped. with football season going on, even more so. i was hoping this site could lead me to some amazing people who can help me with this new life change because most of my friends have kind of deserted me or don't really know what i'm going through.

i'm not really sure how this site works yet, but my email is mblate@aol.com

hope to hear from some great people soon!

It's been almost 20 years since I was an undergrad co-ed, but I guess I'm not understanding where you're having a problem. We went to class during the day, and hit the campus gym a few evenings a week, so there shouldn't be a problem there. We drank (ok, I see your point) and partied on the weekends. With the exception of drinking, why do you feel that you're not getting the support you need?

Wow - what a hard transition that must be! The first month or two are especially challenging as you adjust your habits to such a great extent. Also, I found that in the beginning I lacked energy - although by 6 weeks or so that really changed.

And friends... If they were used to a different you, someone who they could socialize by eating with, and maybe even had some specific notion of who you were based on your weight (speaking from experience!) it can be quite a change.

I am well past college at 36, but also attended a very large school. It can be easy to get lost in the crowd. I hope that as some time passes from your surgery, and your habits change, you may find some like-minded people. I know that four months ago I couldn't have imagined friendships based on hiking together, but here I am.

I just wanted to offer some supportive words. While I don't know exactly what you are going through I do know that this is a hard transition for many of us. Hang in there!!

Well I am in college however I am also a working adult, and I comutte to school. First the first 2-3 months are pretty rough overall. If your finding that your friends may be bailing out it could be because food was a common demonenator (sp?). I wouldn't stress it pretty soo. You will be able to eat like a naturally skinny person. I would say take this time to make new friends join some new clubs do they have fitness clubs? Maybe you will feel up to joining one soon.

I'm not 20, and not a full time student at a large university, but I am 32, wife mother to a 14 and 12 yo, work 40+ hours a week, and about to start taking a college class again all day on Saturdays. So I do have a busy schedule. I'm 7 weeks post-op and just now started to get energy back. If you have come this far you are a strong person. You can do this! You might need some new people to hang out with. I know I was very much a social eater, so I have to do other activities, if I did hang out with friends and we went to bars/redtaurants might want to suggest other activities. Don't get didcouraged....you are stong! You have come this far....the rest ( I'm assuming) is downhill!

Do a search on here for 'college' and 20's. There is an entire forum divided up by ages. Maybe you can find people who are going thru the same thing.

Also, don't dismiss the fact that our bodies & hormones are changing and its easy to get into a depression. If you can't get out of your slump, please go see a counselor. If you don't want to use the college counselors, maybe your insurance will pay for a WLS counselor.

Is this your first year? Transitioning into college is hard, and you've got a double whammy! Just rememeber that you will be feeling better. Take care of yourself. And rememeber that one really good friend is more important that a gaggle of aquaintances.

the issue is my social life has gone down the drain. i had complications from my surgery too when i got back up here and started classes. i had pancreatitis and was admitted in the hospital for 3 days and people didn't seem to care or reach out. i couldn't even find a ride home from the hospital!!!

not to mention my parents live in south florida and the rest of my family is in central and north florida so it's even harder having my family so far away. a lot of them don't even know i went through with this surgery because most of them would not support it.

anyways i haven't been invited out by my friends in so long. drinking is so big here, and it's like no one wants to include me if i can't down 3 cocktails in under 30 minutes. i also don't think my guy friends invite me to their frat parties because i'm still large. basically they are waiting for me to get skinny before they show people they are friends with me. men suck. i am not one to have many girl friends either. it's my 3rd year here. i have had numerous struggles, but this has been one of the worst. i miss feeling included and loved. it's hard because drinking , partying, and eating are basically what college is and my body can't keep up with it. i'm also just really depressed and tired a lot. i'm having some chemical imbalances. i'm not one to just be depressed or antisocial. i'm such a good friend to so many people, and i feel abandoned now that i need someone.