Ppl on these sites will try to make you feel guilty, some will even act like bullies, and have holier than thou attitudes when you say you've kept it secret.I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family. It was the right decision for me, I am not ashamed, i do not feel guilty for not helping out others on their journey etc etc etc. I made the decision to have surgery for me, not to jump on a soapbox! Is that selfish? Perhaps, but worrying about everyone else other than me was what got me fat in the first place! Do what is right for you!!

How do you like them apples? Lol

Totally agree!! I did the same thing and have ha no problems or issues. It was a personal decision and it's a personal journey for me only! Good luck!

me too. haven't told anyone. it's really no one's business.

Worrying about everyone made you fat? I thought it was eating. My nutritionist is a lying b***h.

Exactly 2 people outside this forum know. That's all that need to know. It's my body, my business. :ph34r:

Worrying about everyone made you fat? I thought it was eating. My nutritionist is a lying b***h.

That was the best thing I have heard all day! After a rough week I really needed the laugh!

My parents don't even know. When people ask me how I'm losing it, I just tell them that I'm working with a nutritionist and she has me on a tailored diet that stays under 1500 calories a day that is high protein, low fat, low carb, and a lot of walking. All of this is true, and since I'm not saying I'm on some crazy 'diet', if they try to do what I say I'm doing, the worst that happens is that they go to a NUT and learn some healthy eating habits

I've been very private about my surgery but my darn husband decides he needs to share it with everyone at his work. It's not so such much that he has told them more than he has taken that control of who knows away from me. He has told atleast 4 people at work, now they will likely tell their partners and then 4 more people will know. Who knows who they may tell. I was really hoping to keep this nice and quiet with just my family and a couple of my good friends who have also struggled with weight and/or have had WLS.

I just wish he didn't feel the need to share why he is out of the office. But at this point it is what it is!!!

You are absolutely correct. You dont "have" to tell anybody. But when you drop 100+lbs, don't or a minute think the people around you haven't figured it out. You are not keeping any secret.

In reality most people around that have daily interactions with you will wonder why you don't trust them enough to be open with them. While others will consider you disingenuous

I see a lot of postings on the tel, don't tell topic. I really don't care what you choose, but don't for 1minute think that you are fooling anybody.

You are absolutely correct. You dont "have" to tell anybody. But when you drop 100+lbs, don't or a minute think the people around you haven't figured it out. You are not keeping any secret.

In reality most people around that have daily interactions with you will wonder why you don't trust them enough to be open with them. While others will consider you disingenuous

I see a lot of postings on the tel, don't tell topic. I really don't care what you choose, but don't for 1minute think that you are fooling anybody.

Again, someone who is making presumptions about MY LIFE. Why would anyone think anything was different this time I lost 50 lbs, I've done it 5 or 6 times before. The only difference is this time it's staying off.

Again' date=' someone who is making presumptions about MY LIFE. Why would anyone think anything was different this time I lost 50 lbs, I've done it 5 or 6 times before. The only difference is this time it's staying off.[/quote']

Are you finished losing? When you lost before was it this fast? Why do you presume that I was referring to you in particular(I wasn't)? The "you" I was referring to in my post was the collective "you" meaning whoever was reading the post.

Why do you presume that your friends/family/coworkers will just believe that you magically acquired all this willpower? You say you lost 50lbs several times before, but then failed long term. So now you you expect then to assume that you are now able to lose much more & keep it off without help of some sort? Either they are very naive, or you underestimate their inelegance. I'm betting it's the later.

Next time you assume someone is talking specifically about you I'd suggest you look for something that indicates this, like maybe your post being quoted or your name in their post.

(I would also like to add IMO there is huge difference between not telling people & intentionally misleading someone-- this part is another general statement)

I have a different take on this since having surgery last week. I wasn't going to tell anyone but my immediate family but in the end I did tell my closest friends and now will tell everyone as I basically have no choice. I felt I couldn't lie to my friends and now that I an basically bed ridden for six weeks due to complications, I'd rather just tell the truth.

I'm sorry but I respectfully disagree with you. I haven't lost my weight exceptionally fast and I've been on a diet work out program for about 8 mo now and I'm 3 mo out of my surgery so no one has even suspected or questioned me about it.

My question is, if you don't want, need, or have to tell anyone, then why did you join the forum? The post seemed almost bitter and resentful that you are a member here. It's great that you are doing what's best for you, but bashing members solicited advise and opinions is really not what the majority is here for. This is a forum for support. That's why we are here. It's a hard journey and some don't have support in their personal life so they turn to their on line family for the milestones NSV and questions, concerns, or advice.

I haven't seen anyone bully people on here about tell or not to tell, so this topic kinda surprises me. I have seen a number of opinions and advice, but on top of not seeing a lot of unsupportive comments on those threads, I also don't see how anyone would be bullied into telling the people they know irl.... This is a forum, I ask for advice, but if I don't like the answers/comments I get, I tend to ignore it.

I chose to tell people and I'm happy with my decision. I know there are a lot of people who have taken the other route and are happy. I felt like people would notice, and that if I told people around me it would be easier to have a support group of my friends/family. Plus, maybe with some people they wouldn't notice, but I think over time that people would figure it out with me, I've never been any good at dieting =p

Why so serious? I am a totally open book...both on this site and in my life. I used to worry about who knew about my surgery, but I realized it was because i felt self conscious about it. Now, i don't care who knows, who judges, or who questions my decision because i am happier and healthier than I've been in my life. What people think about you isn't your problem so why worry about it? You have more important things to worry about like those damn fluids and Vitamins.

I am happy to be someone who people in the first stages of their journey can look to for inspiration. I had people i looked to as a guide or a blueprint, so why not? *shrugs*