Ppl on these sites will try to make you feel guilty, some will even act like bullies, and have holier than thou attitudes when you say you've kept it secret.I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family. It was the right decision for me, I am not ashamed, i do not feel guilty for not helping out others on their journey etc etc etc. I made the decision to have surgery for me, not to jump on a soapbox! Is that selfish? Perhaps, but worrying about everyone else other than me was what got me fat in the first place! Do what is right for you!!

How do you like them apples? Lol

I haven't seen anyone bully people on here about tell or not to tell' date=' so this topic kinda surprises me. [/quote']

It's just a ploy. I hate actual bullying, and I know it comes in many forms. But it's also become the new "cry wolf". People can't debate or defend their position so they just make bullying accusations in the hopes it will shut the other side down. It's also a manipulation tactic to garner sympathy...in this case....not in all cases.

I've yet to see any actual bullying on this forum, just lots of people debating different sides of different topics....and several accusations of bullying by people who can't stand for someone to disagree with them.

Edit: I do recall one bullying situation but no accusations of bullying were even made on the forum. Just wanted to put that out there so people wouldn't think I had my blinders on.

Tell or don't tell it's really just up to you. I have told just about anyone. I am not ashamed or embarrassed nor do I care much about what ppl think of my looks. Nor do I think that ppl that don't tell are ashamed or embarrassed it is all in what you are comfortable with.