I'm 20 days post-op and I've explained as much as I could to my friends and family what this surgery is all about. But no matter how much I explain it to these people, they keep asking me the "When can you have ____?" questions. You know, "When can you have ice cream again?" "When can you have hamburgers again?" "When can you drink alcohol again?" It seems all they're interested in is when I can start eating/drinking certain foods again.

They just don't get it. I've tried to be patient and explain to them that it's not just a surgery, it's also a lifestyle change. But they seem to fixate on the whole "timeline" aspect of it. And they never stop to consider that the last thing I want to do is think about all the foods I can't have yet (or can't have anymore). And god forbid I tell them something like, "I can't have soda anymore," they respond with that wide-eyed "No!! Oh wowwww!!!" in a tone that clearly indicates galactic doom. It's just not what I need right now and I've had to brusquely tell them to stop talking to me about it. I feel bad, but I can't take it anymore.

Has anyone else encountered this phenomenon?

I get sick of an ex that tells me this is the easy way out. I told him its not the easy way. I still have to exercise' date=' and watch what I eat just like a person who hasn't had wls. I told him the difference between me and someone who hasnt had wls is my food is always portion control because of my smaller tummy. He's a real jerk & thats why he is an EX....

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S using VST[/quote']

I was just thinking of my ex too. I spent 5 years trying to get my surgery approved and I remember in fights he'd ridicule my decision for WLS. Never did get it. Once I finally got it I was reluctant to share with people because he might find out. Now I don't know that I care if he finds out. It was never his decision. Always mine.

my response to when someone offers me a soda is... I don't drink soda. Instead of I can't have soda. Just sounds so much better!

I have found that telling people that I can still eat what ever I want just much smaller quantities but that I am choosing to eat healthier seems to go over much better. They seem to accept my choice to eat this way rather than it being a restriction.

I have found that telling people that I can still eat what ever I want just much smaller quantities but that I am choosing to eat healthier seems to go over much better. They seem to accept my choice to eat this way rather than it being a restriction.

hey Cat,,where'd ya get the ice cream?

Made from Eggface's recipe www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com

You can make any Protein shake into ice cream, but you have to know how to make a good shake first. I change the recipe a little.

1 cup milk (you should use anything below 2%

2 scoops vanilla Protein powder (I use SEI)

1 tbs SF lemon pudding

1 tbs SF Torani lemon syrup

1 tbs SF Torani vanilla syrup

Lemon zest

Optional sugar free lemon Cookies (I also had to make them myself because nobody seems to carry SF cookies)

Blend ingredients except for cookies. Chill. Pour into ice cream maker. When ice cream is almost done at soft serve, pour the crush cookies in and turn it on for another minute.

I've also made chocolate Almond Roca and pistachio ice cream. Good stuff! Flavors are only limited by you imagination or lack thereof.

I used this ice cream maker:

http://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Beach-Serve-Cream-Blueberry/dp/B003R4NE5E

Due to the side effect of a medication I began taking for CSF pressure headaches, my tastes in food were already changing before my surgery. For example, carbonated beverages now taste completely gross to me. I can't stand them anymore. It only took a few reminders before people stopped offering them to me. And the one time I FORCED myself to drink a soda (because it was the only caffeine available at the time), everyone laughed at me because I made such a horrible face when drinking it. So, I think my work friends will assume that all of these changes have to do with side effects of that medicine as well.

However, I have decided to only tell my close family and a few really good friends about my WLS. I will not lie to others if they hear it through the "grapevine", and will try my best to answer any questions they may have. But, I'm not going to go out of my way to tell anyone at work. I did this for myself and for my family. I want to be healthier and live longer for my husband and 10 year old son.

I have never been good about taking compliments, so I'm more worried about the effects of people's comments after I lose the weight. If people tell me how pretty or amazing I look, I'm going to think, "What!?! Are you saying I wasn't pretty or amazing before!?! Just because I was overweight?" I guess this comes from having a negative view of myself or something, I don't know.

Made from Eggface's recipe www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com

You can make any Protein shake into ice cream, but you have to know how to make a good shake first. I change the recipe a little.

1 cup milk (you should use anything below 2%

2 scoops vanilla protein powder (I use SEI)

1 tbs SF lemon pudding

1 tbs SF Torani lemon syrup

1 tbs SF Torani vanilla syrup

Lemon zest

Optional sugar free lemon Cookies (I also had to make them myself because nobody seems to carry SF cookies)

Blend ingredients except for cookies. Chill. Pour into ice cream maker. When ice cream is almost done at soft serve, pour the crush cookies in and turn it on for another minute.

I've also made chocolate Almond Roca and pistachio ice cream. Good stuff! Flavors are only limited by you imagination or lack thereof.

I used this ice cream maker:

http://www.amazon.co...y/dp/B003R4NE5E

Well that sounds devine.lol I have to look into this maker and eggface recipes..I saved her page but haven't really tried anything. I keep hearing how great her recipes are! Thanks for all the info!!

To add another...when people see you eating something and they question you about whether you're allowed to have it...when did they become the expert all of a sudden? And I was just told today that if everyone would just follow the diet I'm on right now' date=' everyone could lose weight easily. Who in here would honestly be able to eat 1/4 of a cup of food BEFORE surgery and feel satisfied? ..............Yeah, me neither.[/quote']

Exactly

LOL I've experienced this sort of this...both in my "real world"' date=' and in reading posts on this website! I'm amazed, almost daily, by the posts (here) that read "I'm X number of days post-surgery...when can I have (insert bad food/drink/behavior here) again??"! I rarely respond to those posts...sometimes its just better to keep my mouth shut... LOL As for people in my life, I tend to treat each question (and, Lordy, have there every been questions!!) as an opportunity to educate the other person regarding the realities of this surgery, and life afterwards. Oddly enough, the thing that seems to raise the most eyebrows is when I decline ordering a drink (and by drink I mean a non-alcoholic beverage) with my dinner. That really seems to throw waitresses right off their game! LOL Let people be amazed and bewildered by the lifestyle changes and choices we're making....maybe our example will make a difference in someone else's life one day! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I am 10 months post-op and I'm so tired of having to explain why I don't want a drink with dinner, no, not even a free glass of water! Drives me so crazy that I have been ordering a Water then moving it to my husbands side of table just to avoid the questions.

I was also told that I would mourn the fact that I cannot eat quantities of food and spiral into depression. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm eating better than I ever did as a morbidly obese person. Yesterday I had grilled sirloin and huge scallops -- for lunch :-) For dinner I had roasted chicken, broccoli and lemon meringue Protein ice cream. This weekend I'm going hiking and to the beach.

Yeah, I'm REALLY suffering.

Haha! You poor thing! We're all so deprived! I just told my husband that if someone gets so depressed like that about not eating then there is a deeper issue there.

So glad that I am not the only one getting all these questions aimed at me, especially during my lunch break at work when I'm in the kitchen trying to hurry up and put my lunch together before anyone sees me. I lack in the 'canned response' area and end up explaining myself everytime. It's been a little tiring, but these interactions actually help me stay even more motivated to keep on track. More power to the sleevers!