I'm 20 days post-op and I've explained as much as I could to my friends and family what this surgery is all about. But no matter how much I explain it to these people, they keep asking me the "When can you have ____?" questions. You know, "When can you have ice cream again?" "When can you have hamburgers again?" "When can you drink alcohol again?" It seems all they're interested in is when I can start eating/drinking certain foods again.

They just don't get it. I've tried to be patient and explain to them that it's not just a surgery, it's also a lifestyle change. But they seem to fixate on the whole "timeline" aspect of it. And they never stop to consider that the last thing I want to do is think about all the foods I can't have yet (or can't have anymore). And god forbid I tell them something like, "I can't have soda anymore," they respond with that wide-eyed "No!! Oh wowwww!!!" in a tone that clearly indicates galactic doom. It's just not what I need right now and I've had to brusquely tell them to stop talking to me about it. I feel bad, but I can't take it anymore.

Has anyone else encountered this phenomenon?

This sentence made me burst out laughing =) Thank you!

I have not encountered this phenomenon yet, but I am only a few days post-op still. I think my response to those questions will probably be something along the lines of "I can eat those again when I want to gain the weight back" or something similar.

This is going to be my canned response. So poetic and poignant.

I get tired of people on here asking that!

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Omg - me too - and bragging because they could tolerate a half of a McDonalds cheeseburger- or a kids corn dog sat well- or was able to keep down a diet coke with no issues-

WHY have your gut cut out if that's your goal in life- to eat crap forever?!?!

How about this question... "Are you going to turn into a B!@#% now that you're losing all this weight?" I simply tell them not to confuse confidence with being a B!@#%. I will definitely be more confident in my new body but don't ever mistaken that for anything else. Confidence is a good thing and just because I'm nice and am the way I am now doesn't mean I was like this only because I was overweight.

^ This!!! Except it's not confidence, it is bit*hyness. I'm having this killer mood swings.

I just want to say, reading this thread makes me very happy, both in the fact that I'm taking steps to improve my life, and the idea that this site associates me with people such as yourselves that have made a commitment to a healthier lifestyle. I say thank you to all of those here that are living for themselves, and in the same being a good example fathers too.

I'm 2 days post op and I can't imagine ever eating anything again....

I'm 2 days post op and I can't imagine ever eating anything again....

Trust me, you will.

I'm 2 days post op and I can't imagine ever eating anything again....

(((HUG))) Sounds like it's goin pretty rough for ya =\ Your stomach will heal in time and you'll be able to progress. I know right now I'm not feeling much desire to eat either. Hang in there!

I really like the "when I want to get fat again" response. I think that about covers it!

Love this thread! Also reinforces my decision to keep quiet about my surgery except to family and closest friends( and not all of those) It is nobodys f*^%#g business!!!!!

I always felt self conscious when I was at my highest weight eating in front of ANYBODY! I felt judged even if someone wasnt commenting. I judged myself too.

Now I will eat what I must to live and thrive and to hell with anyone else and whatever inane comments they want to make!

As far as the comments about appearance, I just say thanks and change the subject. I did not do this solely for my appearance. I was staring into the abyss, the only future I could invision was more disease,suffering and death. I had an epiphany on Dec.3 and decided to grab hold of the life preserver and never let go. If I die now, it will not be at my own hand(literally, hand to mouth) So the people who have this surgery still crave crap they need to see their therapist, go to every support group available to them and join every wls forum there is. I will never kick someone when they are down, I have been there. I will answer questions on these forums as honestly as I can. But the real decison these people make in regards to food and drink choices are theirs and theirs alone and they will either suffer or learn from those choices.

All the best to my fellow sojourners!

"you're too skinny"

"you're too skinny...." Does not compute. Is that english? I don't understand those words put together!! HAHAHA

I thought no one could be too skinny or too rich LMAO

No disrespect to anorexics.... that is a disease as bad or worse than obesity.

What amazes me about peoples responses on this and what you cant eat or when, is the fact of how different they would look at it or treat it if you couldn't eat things because of a gallbladder removed, or an ulcer, or diabetes, but because its weight loss its a whole different attitude.

Our society has become about food, for entertainments, rewards, pleasure. Its not there simply for nourishment. We have in our society lost the emphasis on exercise and eating right, then when we take steps to control it or use something as a tool, its like we are ridiculed for it.

In a restaurant when your heavy people watch what your eating when your overweight, the same as at the grocery store whats in your cart, Society, We/I judge to much on perception and the cover or outside.

If people know we had the surgery they will still watch what we eat, or put in our cart. I believe there will always be the judgement, what we can do and control is not judge ourselves on so many things, and look out how we perceive and feel about ourselves and let that be what matters the most.

If we can get past the questions and past the stares we can look at things in a different lite. We are human and those things will matter and bother us. Many people act the way they do our of fear, and fear is brought on usually by not having knowledge. We need to help educate, love ourselves, and not let others thoughts be our self image of ourselves.

I love it when waiter looks at you sadly when you ask for a box after taking about 5 good bites.

I have gone completely health conscious and I tell people that fast food and things like regular ice cream do not taste good to me anymore. I make most of my food myself because salts, sugars and unhealthy fats in things makes them unpalatable.

I use olive oil and coconut oil and butter. I'm here to tell you that the so called government scientists and their insistance on cereals and grains for the largest portion of your diet are dead wrong. Eating good fats encourages weight loss and is good for you. I do not eat highly processed foods. I do not eat fast food. Sliced almonds in fruit Greek yogurt tastes exquisite unlike the full sugar and fat ice cream my daughter let me taste the other day.

When you change your lifestyle you get to experience fresh, natural food. Guess what? It's tastes better! I think our need to throw sugar into everything is killing us. Mix sugar with simple white flour and you have a recipe for death.

I hate to seem dramatic, but am I ever learning things. Tell them you can't stand the taste of junk food any longer.

I love it when waiter looks at you sadly when you ask for a box after taking about 5 good bites.

I have gone completely health conscious and I tell people that fast food and things like regular ice cream do not taste good to me anymore. I make most of my food myself because salts, sugars and unhealthy fats in things makes them unpalatable.

I use olive oil and coconut oil and butter. I'm here to tell you that the so called government scientists and their insistance on cereals and grains for the largest portion of your diet are dead wrong. Eating good fats encourages weight loss and is good for you. I do not eat highly processed foods. I do not eat fast food. Sliced almonds in fruit Greek yogurt tastes exquisite unlike the full sugar and fat ice cream my daughter let me taste the other day.

When you change your lifestyle you get to experience fresh, natural food. Guess what? It's tastes better! I think our need to throw sugar into everything is killing us. Mix sugar with simple white flour and you have a recipe for death.

I hate to seem dramatic, but am I ever learning things. Tell them you can't stand the taste of junk food any longer.

It's funny...I'm only 3 weeks out and I had a small spoonful of what I thought was just cottage cheese, but it turned out to have small chuncks of pineapple in it. The super-sweet taste of the pineapple was almost too much for my mouth. It tasted really cloying and made my face scrunch up. I never thought I'd react negatively to a sweet taste, but there you have it...

WHY have your gut cut out if that's your goal in life- to eat crap forever?!?!

Unfortunately some people still associate eating those foods with a "normal" life. And they so associate being disciplined and avoiding junk food altogether with being "on a diet". I think these are food issues that need to be worked on, but not everyone thinks that way. To me feeling "normal" would mean tucking in my shirt and not seeing any rolls of fat, or being able to finish a 10K run... not eating pizza and twinkies everyday "in moderation".