Who To Tell And Not Tell....

[kmoore 97]

That is how I convinced my husband, bogeydog. I clued him into the fact that I am on 5 different medications for 3 co-morbidities, 3 of which have lowered libido as a side effect, which is sometimes an issue ever since I started taking them 5 years ago. And that although my "numbers" are controlled with the Rx's I take, I am at a MUCH higher risk of complications because of the co-morbidities. I told him that the risk of me dying young without having the surgery is higher than the risk of the surgery itself...which is the only thing he is really concerned with. He supports the procedure, but is concerned about me having any surgery because of anesthesia risks and so forth. He will remain concerned about that, but is supportive of the decision I am making.

I am waiting until insurance approval before telling anyone else (besides my co-workers who already know).

[mrsjones075 40]

I'm in the very early stages of the process. I have decided to only tell my husband. I have lost & gained weight so many times over the years that I'm now embarrassed that I have to take such drastic measures. The way I see it, it's nobody's business but mine. I'm finally something for ME.

[Shoe_Vixen 23]

I thought the same thing, I was only going to tell a few people about my choice bc I didn't want to hear a bunch of unwanted feedback. I wasnt even planning on telling my parents & I'm in my 30s!

The more I thought about it I realized I could use this entire ordeal to help someone else. So I broke down and told my friends and family and have been charting the entire process on my blog. I was surprised by the amount of support I received and am glad to be able to share & help other people who are considering the same path. Plus for me, being open keeps me accountable!

Good luck to you in whatever you decide!!

[CaliKat 153]

Thought i would chime in with my two cents here......

I had not planned on telling ANYONE- EVER that I had this surgery.... Just my BF who I live with. I ended up telling my sister-in-law who is a surgeon just because I wanted an outside opinion from a medical perspective. I made her promise not to tell my brother- and she promised me and never said another word.

A few weeks after the surgery, my sis-in-law and I went out to dinner and I told her that I dont plan on telling anyone-ever- about the surgery. She said she understood that I had my reasons for not telling my family- but from a surgical or medical perspective- I should reconsider.

Her reasoning was that if you come into an ER unconcious- and there is no one there to tell the docs what surgeries youve had, what meds you are on, etc.... Than they may do a medical procedure that can harm you. And since family makes the life-or-death call.... They should know. She also told me that there are many Dr's out there who are unfimiliar with the VSG procedure- so having somone that can explain can be benificial.

So..... I plan on telling a few choice family members about the surgery when I see them next- and they see some of the fabulous results!

Hope that helps somone.

[kmoore 97]

Definitely good points there, Calikat. I do plan to tell those that would need to know for emergencies for me. Plus, I have an app on my phone that EMS can access that will give all info for me, surgury, meds, insurance info, ER contacts, etc. These I.C.E. apps are great, and most EMS services are well aware to check phones for these now days

[robin33 71]

Kmoore. What is the name of the app?

[DisneyJuju 4]

Ldallas you have nothing to be embarrass about. We can't help what genes we are given when we are born or what life throws our way. I know I am a stress eater and my mom was a big woman so I get it from her. Really it is nobody's business anyways. You be you. We are behind you.

My mom age 56 dead grandma 5 days after 79 bday dead and great grandma age 51 dead were all big ladies and younger sister is big too I am like them but I am taking my life back for me and I want to be/old old lady

I am not telling anyone just my hubby and one daughter as I think my 13 year old son is too young o understand

[Kat1 24]

Hi Disney juj

I hear ya. I want my life back too. My mom was a big woman too and so was mr grandma. They are both gone now. My two brothers take after my dad's side -thin-

[kmoore 97]

Kmoore. What is the name of the app?

It is "smart-ICE". I have the paid version...there is a "lite" version also. I think I paid $4.99 for the app a couple of years ago.

[Sleeve-A-Licious 21]

I have not told anyone in my family...I feel horrible!!! The only person that knows about my surgery is my husband, my mother in law, and 2 other friends who are also getting the procedure done...I previously had mention having the lap band with my family members and the feed back I got was what I expected and I quote " WHY!!!...THATS TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT....WHY NOT JUST EXCERSICE AND EAT HEALTHY"

Ultimately I figure it's my health and IM THE ONE THAT HAS TO DEAL WITH ALL MY MEDICAL ISSUES...although it would be GREAT to have family support the negativity is what is keeping me distant...So I totally understand what you are going through..people will talk either way good or bad..there will always have someone talking about you....I will have my galbladder remove as well and thats all anyone knows..I feel that sometimes people think they have the right to intrude in your personal buisness and feel offended if they find out later..too bad you could say I didnt feel comfortable telling you about my medical condition...this is something I will have to learn to say too...I wish you the best of Luck...My sleeve is May 22nd!!! So excited, nervous, anxious, SCARED!!! I love this community its' whats giving me the friends and support I need!!!

[kcage 33]

I have only told a couple of people as we were talking about different measures to lose weight and she and I have the same insurance so I figured why not let her know it is covered! Someone provided me with this info so I felt it wasn't right not to share. Now as far as anyone else it is strictly a need to know bases. My mother-in-law was the one who came to my house to help my husband with the kids while I was in the hospital and she still didn't know, about four days post op when she was dropping my son off at home she asked so what did you have to have done my response to everyone that asks about surgery who I don't want to tell I had WLS.....I just tell them I had been having stomach and digestive issues and so I had the procedure done that they do when you have really bad ulcers. Look she is a registered nurse and was like oh ok so you had ulcers and I politely said no and now I never will. All the information is true, I have just decided that since I don't want anyone's opinion I won't give them the opportunity to give it. I give them enough info to where they leave me alone about it. My mom is in Afghanistan so I understand not wanting your mom to worry. I didn't tell my mom until a week post op as we talk regularly and she was a little worried after we didn't talk for a week. Just proceed with caution most won't understand and telling ppl you have drastically cut back on what you eat is truthful and since we have to exercise once you incorporate that you are doing what every other gym head is doing and what we should have been doing for years. Good luck and you know you have hundreds of ppl in your corner our own little supportive family!

[Tibbie 55]

I've only told my husband, best friend, my Co-VP and owner of our business (they both happen to be two very close friends as well). Other than that - everyone thinks I'm having my gallbladder out - even though I had it taken out 7 years ago! LOL None of the people working for us now know that! LOL Love that everyone is using the "gallbladder" excuse.

As for after - I will deal with that when I am comfortable and ready. Until then - I like keeping it to myself!

[Calicolea 38]

I love this community its' whats giving me the friends and support I need!!!

HEAR HEAR !!!!!! Nodding my head in agreement

[Sleeve-A-Licious 21]

I have only told a couple of people as we were talking about different measures to lose weight and she and I have the same insurance so I figured why not let her know it is covered! Someone provided me with this info so I felt it wasn't right not to share. Now as far as anyone else it is strictly a need to know bases. My mother-in-law was the one who came to my house to help my husband with the kids while I was in the hospital and she still didn't know, about four days post op when she was dropping my son off at home she asked so what did you have to have done my response to everyone that asks about surgery who I don't want to tell I had WLS.....I just tell them I had been having stomach and digestive issues and so I had the procedure done that they do when you have really bad ulcers. Look she is a registered nurse and was like oh ok so you had ulcers and I politely said no and now I never will. All the information is true, I have just decided that since I don't want anyone's opinion I won't give them the opportunity to give it. I give them enough info to where they leave me alone about it. My mom is in Afghanistan so I understand not wanting your mom to worry. I didn't tell my mom until a week post op as we talk regularly and she was a little worried after we didn't talk for a week. Just proceed with caution most won't understand and telling ppl you have drastically cut back on what you eat is truthful and since we have to exercise once you incorporate that you are doing what every other gym head is doing and what we should have been doing for years. Good luck and you know you have hundreds of ppl in your corner our own little supportive family!

Thanks so much for posting this...I am feeling the same way...I havent told my mom and I am dying inside to tell her..she'll worry sooo much and I just dont want her to..my sleeve is in 4 days!! and Im also getting the galbladder removed..what shall I do??? I dont want to lie to her, but I dont want her to worry..I havent told my sibiling...I feel like a fat liar...I have mixed feeling..what do you think..your advise was awesome but I think I need more...Please help!

[DesertRat 32]

Thanks so much for posting this...I am feeling the same way...I havent told my mom and I am dying inside to tell her..she'll worry sooo much and I just dont want her to..my sleeve is in 4 days!! and Im also getting the galbladder removed..what shall I do??? I dont want to lie to her, but I dont want her to worry..I havent told my sibiling...I feel like a fat liar...I have mixed feeling..what do you think..your advise was awesome but I think I need more...Please help!

JMO. People are going to find out and, these days, anyone that loses a lot of weight will probably be subjected to rumors of WLS no matter what. I just decided to tell most people and let them deal with it.