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Felix1967's Blog
 

Surgiversary - 1 month

Well, today marks one month since my gastric sleeve surgery. I'm down 30.5 pounds since my surgery and 55 overall. I can honestly say that my recovery, my adjustment to this new lifestyle - the entire process - has been an amazing journey so far. My Thanksgiving was marked with thanks for the love of my family, my friends and all of the medical professionals who helped my navigate the process to that OR table on October 29. I'm thankful for getting my life back too - what a true blessing...
Felix1967

Felix1967

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

Booze problems

Nope, not an alcoholic hehe. I just have some alcohol problems as in choosing what to drink.   Before the lap band I mainly drank beer when out partying with friends. Now that's off the table I actually don't really miss beer since I never drink except when I'm going out to a club or loosen up with friends. That happens maybe 2-4 times a year so it's not something I'm crying over.   Last night there was Christmas party at work and I wanted to dance and have fun. There were 3 kind of alcohol free of charge and it was beer, white wine and red wine. I chose white wine. I had a few glasses.. ok maybe a lot LOL but omg I woke up wanting to throw up! I have had a lot more to drink than last night so this very unusual.   I did NOT want to throw up with the band, no way. So I do think that White Wine is off the table as well when I want to loosen up a bit. I think red wine will be the same. So that only leaves the hard stuff, like clear liquids. Rum or Vodka. Some would say Gin but my taste buds don't agree with that haha.   I am also seriously thinking about never drinking alcohol again. It's not an important part of my life and well I should learn to party with out alcohol. Through many of my diets through the years, alcohol has been forbidden and it was no problem. Ok I didn't take on the dance floor but I can learn.   This blog sounds like I'm obsessed with this. I'm really not. I'm writing this down so that I will remember when it comes to my next party in March. I will come back to this blog and be like .. ahhhh yes exactly, do not drink white wine.   OH and for the very first time I received a lot of compliments on my weight! People said they really noticed that I lost a lot of weight yay so happy.
lapband78

lapband78

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Feeling Alone...

I was debating on posting this but finally decided that I would because I'm sure someone out there is or has gone through this and might be able to give me some advice. Support my family supports me through anything and everything even with the decision to get this surgery they have encouraged me to continue to eat healthy and loose weight so that I can be approved for this surgery. Even through having this ankle surgery and being stuck in bed my mom has made me protein shakes and gotten me all healthy stuff instead of the easy junk food snacks. This means a lot because my mom has her own health issues and is fighting stage four breast cancer and she is tired and sick a lot so it means a lot that she is taking the extra time to prepare the healthy stuff for me to eat. Now that is all positive but there is also a huge negative side. My fiancé does not encourage me at all, he is extremely overweight and I have begged him to go through this with me so we can be healthy and his response constantly is " I will eat whatever I want I like junk food so that's what I'm going to eat." and then when I say well you could die early and I don't want that I need you here, he replies with this " I'll die whenever I at least I got to eat what I wanted." He hates the idea that I am getting this surgery and I get absolutely no support from him and he is the person I need it from the most. This is extremely hard and I don't want it to end our relationship but I can't constantly be brought down. He constantly brings me junk food and tempts me to eat it and when we are out he is always going through drive throughs and it is very hard to have self control when he is eating what I really want right in front of me. If anyone else has gone through this please leave me some advice in the comments, I am really struggling right now. I love him but I also want to be healthy and feel good about myself! PLEASE HELP!   PS: the picture included in todays post is a mickey wreath I made since I am stuck in bed! (my family is completely obsessed with Disney!)
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

2
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Salt and Pepper Shaker

So we are on day 3 after my ankle surgery and i am not a very happy camper,in a lot of pain and extremely tired. The only plus side is when I get things i ordered in the mail. Today i received these lovely antique christmas salt and pepper shakers to add to my collection. Since I am not feeling the greatest i am not making this post long just sharing what i got in the mail today. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow so I can make a full blog post!
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

First exercise

It's been 6 months since I got banded. To be honest, I haven't felt like exercising at all!! I mean I have been taking walks, parking my car far away from the entrance but no real exercise.   I had anxiety about it. I mean moving that heavy body, gosh so difficult. But last week I felt how easier is it now. Just walking up a small hill and feel the difference from last time I walked up the hill. It gave me confidence and I decided that the first change I got, I was going to do something about it.   So me, that LOVES to sleep and would sleep for as long as possible, woke up at 6 am (way to early for me) and went to the local swimming pool. I stopped going there a year ago since my weight was dragging me down (hah!). My swimsuit didn't fit and I just didn't feel comfortable.But now I bought a year membership and I'm going to use that for sure.   So here in Iceland we have to take a shower before going into the pool. For the first time I felt proud of my scars, because they are a reminder. But nope, empty showers. I mean who wakes up that early!! seriously! haha. Ok ok I heard Americans do that a lot so ok you must think I'm nuts LOL. So nobody to show my scars too haha   But ok my swimsuit! It's this slim-up swimsuit (LOL) and a year ago it did not fit me! It almost looked like a Playboy swimsuit, it was showing that much of my body haha. But this time omg it covered all the desired areas!!! I was so extremely happy. I've actually never fit into that swimsuit that well before, not even when I bought it. What a great energy kick that was.   I decided to take it slow and swam 400 meters (438 yards?) since it was the first time I exercised in a long time. But it felt good. Can't wait to get into the pool again   I know on this site there are a lot of stories about some amazing successes that people have made. Lost a lot more than I have and have achieved enormous success. Of course I'd like to be there, I mean who wouldn't??   But over the years doing all the dieting, trying to make life style changes and always failing, I have discovered that you have to do things your own way. You have to do it in the speed that you know you can do it in. If I try to overdo stuff, I do fail, that's just how I am. So taking babysteps works for me. I know I will not fail if I do it in babysteps.   But I do read other success stories, the inspire me and I love how we are different and how we go through this journey differently. As long as I am happy, as long as my doctor is happy then I'm doing things right for me.   But 40 pounds gone Swimsuit fits me better than ever before All my clothes are getting bigger Need a new wardrobe Feeling more confident   That in itself is a victory. Not the biggest victory, but still a victory. I've got 2 major milestones left. 1 when I will not be eligible for a gastric bypass here in Iceland and 2,2 pounds until I have officially never lost as much weight. I decided to set myself small milestones to celebrate and no I won't award myself with food !!!   After those milestones, the next one is in 10 kg /22 pounds that I want to loose before April. That's when I'm going to travel to America and buy new clothes   Love those new milestones
lapband78

lapband78

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Ankle Surgery

Unfortunately today I had to get my second ankle surgery of the year, the first surgery I had back in January for my ankle it fixed my original problem but started a new one. The new problem was that there was a build up of cartilage in between my ankle joint and there was also a pinched nerve, So today in surgery they did an arthroscopy and cleaned out all the cartilage and cut the pinched nerve which means I will not have feeling on the one side of my ankle but the pain will not be there so I am not complaining!! I had surgery at about 7:30 this morning and got home around 11 so my pain was very high but I think I am slowly getting it under control it's just really hard to get comfy in bed since I cant lay my ankle certain ways! On a positive note this surgery will not affect the date of my weight loss surgery since there is enough time between them to heal from this one and get the anesthia out of my system. Also for the next two weeks I will have to give myself shots in the stomach to reduce my risk for blood clots since I have had a history of getting them. anyone who has had these shots before know how bad they burn so I am really not looking forward to it these next two weeks!! Then as soon as get off them I'll have to do them again for the weight loss surgery! Hopefully I won't have to do them as long for that surgery! Well today's entry photo is a lovely picture of my orange wrapped leg! Also here is what I ate and am going to eat today since I am doing this entry super early!   Breakfast: nothing since I couldn't eat before surgery Lunch: - Bagel - Cream cheese Snack: - Pretzels - String cheese Dinner: - Spaghetti - Turkey meatballs
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Date Night

So I got home late last night and forgot to post on here! Yesterday was date night for me and my fiancé we went all over Reading, some places I have never even been to. Unfortunately I ate good all day yesterday until we went out for dinner at my fiancés favorite childhood pizza place! I was bad and had chicken wings AND taco pizza put it was so so so good and it was the only time all week that I ate a bad meal! After we were done eating we went to the Berkshire mall and of course I had to go to the pet store and hold all the adorable puppies!! After we were done at the mall we went up to the Pagoda (which is in reading pa and overlooks the whole city of Reading) it is so beautiful but it was so cold out. In todays entry I'll include pictures of everything I did and ate haha! Finally this is what I ate yesterday!     Breakfast: - Protein Drink (rockin refuel) Lunch: -Jimmy Dean Delight bagel with sausage and egg Snack: - Starbucks Coffee (decafe) Dinner: - Buffalo Wings - Taco Pizza
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

40 Pounds

I met my doctor on Wednesday and I've lost 18kg/40 pounds!! I was so happy. And he was very happy with me. He didn't want to give me a fill since I'm doing really well. He also said I'm putting too much pressure on myself. That he was happy and I should be as well. I should read too much about how much other people are loosing because our bodies do not work the same.   But I'm incredibly happy. Also this is kind of a milestone. This is the second time I've lost 40 pounds in one run .... and well then I gained weight again. But this time, I'm going to get further, I'm going to loose more so ever pound after this will be a new milestone yay.   This Friday I was sooooo hungry at lunch that I was dreaming of all kinds of food I was gonna eat that day. I had an omelette at work. I ate a bit too much. I ate until I was full and I never do that. But hunger does that to you.   I was full all day! I couldn't imagine eating dinner even. I did but just a little. Before the lap band, if I got full, I could begin to eat again in 2 hours but not now. And guess what, I love it. This rarely happens that I eat so much. maybe happened 3-4 times in 6 months. I told my doctor that I was still learning and he understood that. I will do mistakes and learn from them. Ok 3-4 times eating to much haha, ok I might be a slow learner hehe   But I'm so happy now. I tried on a dress I wore last Christmas and it's too big now And my panties. Seriously, I need to renew them! They are a size too big.   My bra is still the same size ugh! hate that. But I was telling a coworker how much I'd lost and she told me that she noticed my hips ass getting smaller and yay again! soooo happy! I've always hated my hips and ass. I would do the Kardashians proud. They were even large when I was in a normal weight.   But so far so good! loving my new life
lapband78

lapband78

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Stocking Up :)

Started my day off with waking up early and have a yummy protein shake (Rockin Refuel) I love love love them they are the best and cheapest single protein shakes I've been able to find! They are available at Giant and are really delicious! I will include a picture of them in todays entry! I also had another successful day of eating healthy and not drinking any sugary drinks! I don't have much to include in todays entry so I wont blabber on anymore! Here is what I ate today!   Breakfast: - Rockin Refuel protein drink Snack: - pretzels(28) - laughing cow cheese (garlic and herb) Lunch: - chicken burrito skillet Snack: - Yoplait yogurt (mixed berry) Dinner: - buffalo chicken salad
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Mexican Food For Dinner!

Today was a pretty good day other than it being super rainy out! I feel really good I have been able to stick to my dietitians goals she has set for me which is home cooked dinners at least 5 days a week and then cutting out the sugary drinks! So far this week it has been a success I have not had any sugary drinks I have been replacing them with water, protein drinks, or crystal light water flavoring! And as far as dinner goes I have cooked every night this week! Tonight's dinner was chicken burrito skillet which was a combination of brown rice, chicken, tomato's, peppers, beans, and onions! I'll include a picture of the dinner with todays entry! It was so good and everyone loved it! I also found a lot of other dinner ideas for this week on Pinterest! I was also think about including what I what everyday with my post, since I have to record my food everyday anyway!   Todays Food:   Breakfast: - Protein Shake Lunch: -Scrambled eggs with cheese Snack: Rockin Refuel (protein shake) Dinner: Chicken Skillet Burrito Snack: GNC ice cream protein bar
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Craft Show

Today I went to a really fun craft show at my church, it was so nice and was like twice the size as last year. There was lots of different things there like crocheted things, things made from alpaca, thirty one items, and so much more! After the craft fair me and my mom went to Chick fil a which is a favorite fast food place of ours, but I was actually really proud of myself I got grilled chicken nuggets, a small fry, and even brought my own drink in. This was a big step for me as it took a lot of self control to not get junk and fried stuff! Today was a very gloomy day it rained all day and it was dark really dark out. The rest of the day I did very good with eating well I had a protein shake for breakfast then chick fil a for lunch and finished off with tilapia and rosemary potatoes for dinner! I also did really good with snacks I only ate my premade snacks I had made for the week and was satisfied with just that I didn't crave anything else after I ate the snacks. Other than all the fun stuff I did today I have had a lot on my mind, mostly thinking about what is going to happen if my insurance doesn't cover the surgery? I am going to be so devastated I really don't know what I will do I am trying not to think about it it's just really hard! Anyway todays picture is a sheep made of alpaca my mom got at the craft show today!   Love:Jess
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
The journey finally begins
 

14 weeks and holding steady

I'm 3.5 months out from surgery and my weight loss progresses although it is slowing down. I am down 82 lbs from my high weight and 66 since surgery. I am feeling great and I have dropped from a 50 to a 42 waist and from XXXL to L in shirts. I am really happy with my results so far!   My eating has been a problem. however. I have discovered some really good items in the store here that I am eating an awful lot of - the soups and protein cereals. I am having a hard time digesting cooked meats, and once a week on average the meal comes back up. The protein cereal in particular goes down real smooth and feels wonderful in my gut. I have slowed down my eating and taken ever smaller bites but it hasn't helped. I know its not that I ate too much or too fast as the problem usually occurs about 1 hour after eating when I just can't seem to digest something. I get hiccups, then I start salivating so much that I can't talk because my mouth fills up. After about 30-45 minutes of this, the food usually comes up. I've told my doc and nutritionist and they say that this can happen and all I can do is power past it and note what causes the problem. They suggested searching for alternatives, hence my new found love of protein based cereals!   It's strange, I seem to be more fixated on food than ever, but not on quantity. My worry is whether or not something new will stay down. I seem to do much better with raw foods (sashimi, carpaccio, kibben nayeh) but I am started to get tired of raw stuff. I also have such a small capacity in my stomach (maybe 3 oz) that I fill up with my protein and barely get to the veggies.   HOWEVER. IT IS WORTH IT!!!! I haven't felt this good in years and I am off all my meds and my CPAP! The only thing I take is omeprazol and my vitamins! I really enjoy being able to get up and move around without pain. It's wonderful to walk up a flight of stairs and not feel like my heart will beat so hard it will pop out of my chest. Getting the surgery was definitely the best thing I did for myself in quite some time!
fernandfj

fernandfj

0
My Weight Loss Journal
 

Doctors Appointment #3

Today I woke up bright and early for my 8am doctors appointment at BMI of Lancaster! First I met with my dietitian and we went over my recent food log from the past month. She pointed out that I started out really well and was getting my protein in and not skipping any meals and then she looked at the last 2 weeks and they were horrible you could tell that I fell back into my old ways. Thanks to her she gave me the shove I needed to get back on track and to stop being lazy and do my meal prep which really works for me. Instead of grabbing a bag of chips I can grab one of the pre made snacks I set out for myself! I also saw my fitness trainer today unfortunately we were not able to work on anything due to my upcoming surgery on my ankle, I cant wait until I am recovered from that so I can start working out and be more prepared for surgery, Also I spoke to the insurance coordinator and she told me all the things I have to have ready prior to surgery so I scheduled my appointment f psych evaluation and the surgery clearance from my family doctor I was even lucky and got them both scheduled on the same day! Other than my doctors appointment I went shopping for some healthy foods and came home and did a whole weeks worth of meal prep! (which I have been slacking on) Another thing I did today was go to an antique store, which if you read the about me section on my profile I love collecting antiques! Anyway I found and amazing planter girl which I will include a picture of with this post! I also made an amazing dinner! I made tilapia and rosemary potatoes everyone loved it so that's always a plus I even have some leftover for my dinner tomorrow! Well I am going to head off to bed I have to wake up tomorrow to go to a huge craft-show with my mom!   Love: Jess
jessicalee196

jessicalee196

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

So happy!

Yeah I'm so happy.   Ok the back story:   2 years ago, I was exercising a lot and was heavier than I'm today. I went to a trip and did a lot of walking and it was difficult.   Today: not exercising almost at all (I know I know) but not as heavy and today I went on the same trip and it was easier to do the exact same walk!!   OMG so happy and I have to tell you that it has given me a confidence boost! For the first time, I feel like I can go out there and exercise and win a marathon! no ok not a marathon! Ever haha.   I've been afraid to go out there, to exercise because it's been difficult. All the heavy breathing, red face like I'm about to explode. But gosh today! A new life! I could actually do the walk (up a hill) without being out of breath like 2 years ago. All because of less weight on my body!   This is so motivating and I just had to write this down so that I would remember and that I can always go back to this memory if I'm feeling down.     Oh and I can't eat rice!!! so no sushi for me but hey! I can walk up a hill without loosing my breath! so worth it
lapband78

lapband78

0
Kelly's Musings
 

Small Victory

Something great happened to me the other day at a theme park. Something that most "normal" people never even consider when they are out for the day enjoying the rides and fun. But it happened to me..... NOTHING! Yes!! Hooray!! NOTHING happened when I rode the rides!   What? Some may wonder. But they've never faced the embarrassment of not fitting on an amusement park ride and having to pretend you're getting off because you're just afraid to ride the roller coaster. They've never known the shame of having the ride staff try with all their might to close the bar over their big stomach and fail. They've never been squeezed into a ride so tight that they ended up with bruises on their sides. They've never had to worry the whole time they were in line if one of these awful situations awaited them at the front, or try to choose carefully the rides they were most likely to fit into.   Having faced all of that in the past, I am so happy to say that it didn't even cross my mind at the theme park this Sunday!! I easily got onto and fit every ride! Even rides that in the past were tight or painful, didn't even feel snug. What a joy! Small victory indeed! Just not having to wonder or worry or think about it was a wonderful thing. I felt so normal. And my heart went out to the others I saw who were bigger, and who I know from experience were having to deal with this humiliation and fear instead of having fun with their friends and families.   There are a lot of little things the "normal" sized folks never have to think about or even consider, and I'm glad for them. And now I don't ever have to think about this one again either. :D :D
okelly44

okelly44

1
Jean A Enger's Blog
 

Just a bad feeling . Even though everyone says it will get better .

I feel like i am sick all the time . I guess I am not getting enough protein and some of the other vitamins. I feel weak and unsteady . Can't seem to get anything done . There is no get up and go . It done left for good . So tired . Sorry peeps sometimes I think this was a bad idea to have this surgery . Don't want to poo poo on anyone's parade but this has been one thing after another . So far things haven't gotten better and I feel lousy . I know all the chores I should be doing but can't seem to get them done just tired , depressed and unsure of what I should do next . This is an aweful feeling I have . Don't seem to sleep good either . The pit of my stomach feels like a garbage can . UGH !
Jean A Enger

Jean A Enger

2
nickelbv's Blog
 

It's up to me

Since being banded I have changed my lifestyle a lot. I don't eat as much, eat 2 meals a day and 1 smaller meal, so kind of 2 and half meal a day. I only eat stuff I like and some food I don't even like anymore because after I had to chew and chew and chew, the taste just is that good anymore haha.   But to tell you the truth, I could cheat once in a while and have something not that healthy and still loose weight. But now after almost 6 months, it's ALL up to me!! If I cheat, I don't loose weight or at least not as much.   I'm learning and I think I'll keep on learning (hopefully hah!). For example, I need to drink more water than I used to. I try to drink 1 liter before lunch.   I do believe that if you think that the band is going to do the job for you, then you are going to fail, you are not going to meet your weight goal.   We all have to remember that. Touch you scar and think about what you have gone through and what a powerful tool you have in there.   I have my ups and down, I loose much weight one week and hardly anything the next week. It's a battle that I will win, it will take time but I will!
lapband78

lapband78

0
Welcome to my journey toward being able to walk again!
 

Supervised Diet 4th & 5th months

Hi Everyone reading this blog. It has been 2 months since I last wrote. Not really sure why that is. Maybe because as one of my colleagues said to me yesterday "your a private person." She is 1 of 2 people at work I told about my upcoming WLS. Others at work believe I am having gallbladder surgery only. Anyhow in our discussion yesterday, I mentioned the Dr expected me to lose about 95 pounds the first 6 months. She brought up the fact that other colleagues will notice the change and ask what is wrong with me. So I guess at that time is when I will say "I told the Dr to take part of my tummy while he was in there for my gallbladder. She also asked if my insurance will pay for the skin removal. Nope! She stated she would help with fundraisers like you care and other online sites. I gave her my other blog as I don't think she can access this one unless she joins. It will be so nice of her if she follows through. I have put a lot of hard work in getting down from 497 to where I am today 320. Even more hard work is ahead of me and it will be nice to know that maybe when the time comes I do not have to worry about the money to pay for the surgery. Being on disability and only able to work 2 days a week not much money comes to me. I try to sell my 3-dimensional bead work but no one seems interested in purchasing anything now-a-days. Was at a craft show this past Saturday and sold $26.00 worth. $20.00 was for the space so a profit of $6.00 isn't much. I am seriously thinking of selling the beading supplies.   Anyhow onto the title of this blog. Last Month Sept I weighed in 7 pounds down and saw the surgeon again. He asked if I had any questions. I have discussed with him and researched a lot so I really didn't have any questions except when the surgery might be. He stated in Jan. I had a rash going under my muffin top so I had him look at it. He gave me some kind of powder and did document it. He said maybe if we document enough of these rashes, insurance will pay for part of the skin removal.   This month I just saw the Dr on Monday Oct 26th. I was disappointed as I only lost 2 pounds this month. So my usual routine of slowing down has occurred. The Dr wasn't mad as he said this is one of the reasons for the surgery. We talked about a goal weight and expected weight loss. He stated I should weigh around 150 to 155. I had set my goal for 155 so we were in agreement with that goal. He expects me to lose about 95 pounds in 6 months. The rest within the next year. 95 in 6 months seemed kind of high for me but I will shoot for it. It would be so nice to see the scale go down a significant amount each month, month after month. He also said when I get down to about 200 I should start looking for the plastic surgeon as I will have a lot of skin to be removed. He was saying somewhere around 35 to 40 pounds in various places. My biggest concern about skin is my arms and my breasts. They are hanging so badly now from the 179 pounds I have lost, I can't even imagine what they will look like when I lose the additional 170 after surgery. I would love to wear sleeveless shirts and a normal size pretty lace bra but skin surgery will need to be done before I can even think about those things. My tummy I can hide as I do not wear those kinds of shirts or bathing suits.   I am hoping and praying despite the 2 herniated & 1 bulging disc and half of the right hip bone that I will be able to walk again. I am so tired of being on this electric mobility device and just existing and not really enjoying life. I want to be able to do the activities I use to do like bowling, swimming, dancing, miniature golf. I want to laugh, live and love again. Oh to be in love again with someone and have them love me. I forgot what love feels like.   I see the surgeon again on Nov 21st. I am hoping that the Psych and Pulmonary Doctors have their evaluations in by then. They should have turned them in this month but on Monday I was told the surgeon still didn't have them. The surgeon's staff got on the line to the Doctors and also sent letters saying how important it is to get those evals in. My insurance is extremely slow in getting approvals and I want a surgery date before the Dr leaves the country in Dec for his Holiday vacation. I know it will not be until Jan that I have the surgery but to have the date would help me to mentally prepare myself. A week before the surgery on a Tuesday I will have a 4 hour workshop with his staff about the 24 hour pre-op diet, the things that need to be done before the surgery and after. This workshop is on the day I work, so I will have to take that day off of work. My boss is real good about things like this and knows it needs to be done. Since I only work 2 days per week I never take any time off. She understands the situation and that I need this and the recovery time off so I can be physically better and thus do a better job.   Well not much else is new. I will do another posting after the 6th visit to the surgeon in Nov. Hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to the Thanksgiving Holiday. Enjoy the Turkey!! Stay Happy and Healthy
ssflbelle

ssflbelle

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

First party after banding

It's almost been 6 months since I had the lap band surgery. Still the best thing I've done for my body! I admit that I'd like to have lost more weight specially when I read about how much other people have lost. But I'm at 15 kg or 33 pounds. I had 1 month set back because of sickness and travel, I have to remember that. I also have to remember that this is not a competition, that I'm doing this for myself and nobody else. Also that I'm only 3 kg or 6.6 pounds away from a personal milestone. Can't wait.   I also have to remember that for the first time in 20 years, I'm living a normal life. I chose to live normal and not diet. I eat like other people do. Ok I eat a LOT less than what other people do but I now can enjoy food like other people do. I allow myself to have a cake if there is a cake at the office, or ice cream if there is some at the office. Just a small amount for the taste and no seconds! Before the lap band, I NEVER had any sweets and it was mentally destroying me that I never allowed myself to do anything and still gain weight. Yes I did and by over eating normal food. But because I allow myself to have a cake, ice cream, candy.. (no not too often!! seriously) then I loose weight slower than I could.   But I also always check if the cake (omg love cakes) are worth it, worth the calories. For example 2 days ago at work there was a store bought chocolate cake. I like home made more, so I decided it was not worth it. I mean it would have tasted ok but not worth it since it wasn't a fantastic cake! Also there was ice cream for desert at work and mmmmm I wanted some really badly. But nope, I decided not to have some since I was going out in the weekend and there is a birthday party I'm going to as well. So I do have self control   I went partying yesterday for the first time. I was a bit nervous so I decided not to go to a club. Just stay at the party at a friends place. I had white wine. There was beer but nope no carbonated drinks. I had read that some people don't need a lot of drinks to get a little tipsy so I was kinda expecting that. But nope, it was the same as before the lap band. I had to drink the same amount to feel a little tipsy. I didn't want to get drunk and loose control and throw up. My doctor and reading about the lap band have all warned about that. But I never get that drunk anyway so I wasn't that worried. I always just get a little tipsy and happy   But I don't like alcohol that much so I was hoping I only needed 2 or 3 glass of white wine. Maybe when I loose more weight, I will need less. Oh gosh this is such a luxurious problem haha.   So this is the day after, slight hung over as in head ache and no binge eating or wanting really greasy unhealthy food so yay I've been a good girl.   That's it for now
lapband78

lapband78

0
W Scot H's Blog
 

9 days to go...

I was getting nervous yesterday about the lack of contact from my surgeons office, so I gave a call to the Insurance coordinator there and she said things were going fine. I should have my approval any day now. I trust her assessment because she does this for her job. It makes me a bit less apprehensive about the timing. I now have appointments at the hospital and with the surgeon for pre op stuff first thing next week. Surgery is still planned for the 29th. I spent a lot of the rest of the day thinking about how vulnerable I am to addictions. My wife has been at her wits end with me and I really don't blame her. I have been difficult. I called the psychologist that did my bariatric evaluation. It was really strange when I talked to her in my evaluation. I have talked with so many different "shrinks" at the Veterans Administration that could not believe that I was not a smoking alcoholic. Many times they kept trying to get me to admit I drank or smoked so they could get an "easy fix" for a veteran.   When I sat down with the new, non VA person, it felt like a watershed moment for me. I was able to actually discuss myself rather than what I considered a confrontation with all the VA whacks. I will still have to see the VA but I called the new person back and scheduled another session.   I am really introverted today, so perhaps that is why I am having such a struggle writing today. I think I will close for now. Thanks for reading, I will be back.
W Scot Hayworth

W Scot Hayworth

0
nickelbv's Blog
 

Change of attitude?

Ok so my edema has been bothering me.   To explain, I gained 2kg or 4.4 pounds over night this morning! And no I did not eat that much. This just happens *sigh*   But ok now it's evening and I've lost most of it again. But I can hardly eat for breakfast and lunch.   So what to do?   I've decided to approach things differently. I don't eat breakfast and I have no problem with that. For lunch I've decided to go back to basic. Mashed food and liquid. I had a mashed banana (I like that), small protein drink and a small smoothie.   Now I'll see how long I manage that. I was a bit hungry at 4 pm when I came back home but I was careful not to overeat.   So now I'm going to stop complaining and adjust. I've seen that other people also have problems with AM eating so I'm there as well.   But every time I have to pull up my pants or even panties (haha), makes me very happy and gosh never turning back!
lapband78

lapband78

0
W Scot H's Blog
 

So it starts

Hello, I am Scot,   I am about 10 days from my surgery and wanted to start this log of my journey. I have undergone a psychological review, Dietary consult and had my initial Surgeons Meeting and consultation. I am now waiting for my Surgeon to schedule my Pre Op surgery appointment and have my Pre Op appointment with the hospital. This blog will be my way of talking about the crazy thoughts going through my head as I travel this...   So this is real... I am really going to do this! (as long as my insurance don't get all stupid.)   I have been overweight since I left the Military 18 years ago. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, and high Cholesterol. I have had Sleep Apnea most of my life (even when I was not overweight) but it has been exacerbated by my weight. My wife is scared to death that I am going to die soon. I guess what made me seek this out is that I am not ready to die. My family has a history of being a bit chunky but not to the same level as me. I teeter from 300 to 320 depending on my constant battle with weight gain. I attribute my weight gain from my experiences in the service. I don't blame the military, I did this to myself but, my military service did not help. Let me explain without going into too much detail.   In Boot Camp, while the meals were somewhat balanced, they encouraged you to eat at breakneck speed. I learned how to scarf food at record pace. This habit is perpetuated all throughout my career because of commitments we have to our command, to the schedule work needing to be done, to emergent situations. Many times I would go to the galley and mess-decks to eat quickly and get back to work on something. always dreading the phone on the deck from ringing and being for me. If it was, it meant I cut my mealtime short.   Exercise on a deployed ship is haphazard at best. PT in the service back then was not very directed or mandatory for a deploying unit. Physical readiness tests were held every year and it gradually got worse for me because I Think I was too dependent on directed exercise instead of self directed fitness. I became a workaholic and some things in your life suffer when you become so fixated at one facet of your life.   I had a few incidents in the service that left me with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. While it was easy to identify the depression and get that treated by the VA, it would be nearly 14 years later that I was diagnosed with the PTSD and Anxiety to receive the help I needed. I have been working with Psychologists and Psychiatrists on the PTSD and Anxiety issues and I have gotten them (somewhat) to a dull roar in my head. One of the factors of my weight gain has been identified as my use of food to dull and cover up the anxiety and stress I have on a daily basis. Once this dawned on me, I realized that this was a huge contributing factor of my Obesity.   My wife has watched me grow since 2000 from the slightly pudgy man I was, to this gigantic bellied man that waddles when he walks. I know I have been discounted at work for my appearance, although I have proved my value time and time again. I need this to stop.   It took nearly a year of my wife coaxing me to investigate the process and we finally have the means to cover the costs. I am 110% onboard with this process. I used to be a confident, charismatic, and healthy young man. I want to regain that confidence and health back so that I can begin to enjoy my life instead of constantly fighting my weight all the time.   Is this surgery going to fix me?? Not likely on its own, I have no illusions that this surgery is going to be the magic process in which I regain my health. This surgery is a tool for me to use to win the fight against my obesity. the surgery will cause irrevocable changes to the way I live. I have been spending the last month and a half working on breaking habits and removing some of the most difficult issues from my diet. in 10 days, this will change drastically insomuch that the current things I am doing will need to be stopped and I will need to start taking care of me, feed myself correctly, listen to my body on such a different emotional level than I have ever needed to.   This SCARES the hell out of me. If this process doesn't scare someone, then they need to sit down, read about the changes, and realize this is such a drastic change in their life. This isn't about going to get a tummy tuck or liposuction, This is a complete reworking of your digestive system. don't drink before or after meals. Eat SLOWLY. No Sugar. These actions are what I do all the time, and I have to stop. This is going to require drastic measures. I believe I am ready.   Step one is making the Decision. I went to a seminar put on by my surgeons practice, and it was very informative. there was a full room of people. The one thing I noticed in the crowd that I felt like I was different than these people. I listened to the seminar and watched people around me. I felt like I was in a room full of people that felt it would be completely different than what the speaker was saying. I heard lots of scoffing from people that are in a worse position than I am. I know this isn't for everyone. But the sheer lack of consideration from some of these people. I had done about a week of research and I read a lot of stories, both good and bad. I think most people do read as much as they can about the procedures. Many of the people in the room seemed to have their opinions formed prior to the seminar. Many of them had false information that was corrected by the speaker (She was a saint dealing with a couple people there)   I worry about one thing... delaying the surgery because of insurance. Insurance is the evil right now. I fear that is what is holding up my next appointments. We shall see over the next few days what happens.   thanks for reading. I will be back.
W Scot Hayworth

W Scot Hayworth

1
nickelbv's Blog
 

Overcoming Traditions

In Iceland we are big on traditions, at least my family. Ok probably all countries have their traditions. On Christmas, we always have this special drink, it's Orange Soda (kinda like Fanta) mixed with a Malt drink (non alcoholic) Both are carbonated. I love this drink. I could drink liters of it every day for Christmas, and well yes Easter as well. But lap band doesn't allow carbonated drinks. I tried one glass of it last weekend and I didn't feel that good. I had nausea that didn't go away until I let out a huge burp 3-4 hours later! How am I going to survive without that drink??? But I will I know I will. I will just find something really good instead. I tried a hot apple cider the other day that I made myself. It was seriously good but full of calories. I'm going to make that drink for Christmas as a special occasion.   Then we LOVE our smoked meat. I love it as well. My fave meat actually. Nope, can't eat it. Had it last weekend as well (dads bday) and I had problems with lunch all week. I could get some down and wasn't hungry but I had Productive Burping every day and I had to deliver some in the toilet. And I was at work! OMG but I eat by my desk so that I can eat at my own speed and not worry about other people.   I think this week has mentally been the most difficult since I went off liquid diet at the beginning. The smoked meat gave be lots of edema and I can't follow food tradition anymore.   But I saw the weight go down anyway! 0.4 pounds or 200 grams. Not a lot but with edema, it is something. It made me happy, yes that tiny weight loss did everything for me. I'm always learning, maybe a slow learner and I do the same mistake twice or ok three times haha, but I have to avoid smoked food and salt. If I do have those things, I have to suck it up and well feel bad for a week.   Is it worth it? nope not worth it. I even thought while this was going on, if I regretted the lap band, but nope, still love it. I can survive the productive burping, the slime and the fluid. I already feel overall better in my body. My underwear is even too big now! gosh haha, what a lovely feeling. Ok very bad for my bank account but it feels so good that my panties are about to slide down by itself if you get what I mean   And today I saw that I have a follower on my blog a woman who had the surgery at the same time I did and my blog is helping her. I saw her comment 1 month late. But wow that made me happy. I always thought I was just blogging for myself. Talking about my failures and how my mind works through all this. I'm glad someone like my blog   For those who don't know what edema is, it is excessive fluid in our body. Your face is like a balloon when you wake up and your fingers are like sausages. When you touch your skin, it doesn't feel like your own body, feels like jelly in there. Then the longer you are awake, then the fluid goes from your upper body and to your feet. But that doesn't bother me as much as when it's in my face, fingers and around the band.
lapband78

lapband78

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