Christmas is over, it's January, a whole new year. New beginnings.
So in my last blog I did talk about calories and there being a lot of them during Christmas.
I did not step on the scale until this morning. I was dreading it!! Seriously.
But I am my worst enemy. We are we so mean to our own mind, why do we think such bad thought about what we do? I was sure I'd gained at least 5 pounds!
BUT!! I had lost weight!! yesssss so happy. Not much but hey! from thinking I'd gained 5 pounds to loosing a few grams hah! I'm happy with that
After getting the lap band I've really missed carbonated drinks. Like carbonated water (no added flavors or sugar) and maybe a beer when out with friends. But I haven't had a single drop of beer or carbonated water since May last year. I did try a carbonated Christmas drink that we have in Iceland and it gave me nausea. But I wasn't giving up. And I won! I can drink carbonated drinks. I just have to be very careful!!.
I don't drink diet or sugar drinks (pepsi, coke, mountain dew..) stopped that 4 years ago. But carbonated water mmm love it. Like the fizz.
So what I have to do it to pour it in a glass. No drinking from a bottle. Let the fizz set so the drink looks "calm" (wait a minute or two) and then drink it. And then be careful, be extra careful to burp!! yes burp, that's the magic.
But burping means I can't drink it anywhere. Not at work, restaurants or any public places. I know my manners haha. I can only drink it at home where I can give it a big loud burp. Because if you hold the burp, the nausea comes.
I think I've developed a six pack under all that fat from all the stomach exercise on burping and well when I have Productive burping or food stuck. I never new I could manage stuff inside like that.
I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday. I'm going to ask for a fill because I kinda feel hungry about 3-4 hours after lunch. And I mean hungry, like I want to eat anything I see. Maybe that's Christmas aftermath. Maybe I'm thinking more about food now, something I didn't do so much after Christmas? Not sure. The brain is a tricky thing. I have now a 6.2 or 6.3 cc in my band and I think it's ok to put more in it. My doctor is careful with fillings and only wants to fill it with 0.1cc at a time (at least with me)
Oh and this weekend is so difficult. I'm having the cravings, candy cravings. Like Chocolate! I have not and will not cave in. I'm thinking about how happy I was this morning when I stepped on the scale. So I will not have a single bite. But ugh hate days like these!
ok so 2016 is starting very well and my goal is to loose about 20 pounds before April (omg!). I will succeed!
Christmas! My favorite time of the year where I can eat as much as I want of great food and lots and lots of candy. Everything is allowed!
Hmmm no anymore! This is my first Christmas after the lapband and it's been different than the Christmases of the past.
Here in Iceland, Christmas is a 13 day celebration. You can just imagine all the food involved in that celebration!!
Main Christmas meal with my family was Beef Wellington. OMG it was so good but I ate so little and the slices were so thick that I had to throw half of it in the trash. I felt so bad throwing such a good food out. We had so much left over that I didn't even feel right keeping it for later eating.
Also we are big on smoked meat. We have both smoked lamb and then smoked ham (ham for new years) and I just had a little amount. I can tell you that I have NOT failed my band. I am so happy yay
This is the first Christmas in probably my entire adult life that I haven't felt sick because I ate too much. I was being so careful. But we do have appetizers and deserts ugh those are my worst enemies! I decided to enjoy Christmas and have a little of everything and I do mean little. Trust me I've been very careful of not over eating. I never felt this "ohh I'm full" feeling this Christmas.
But eating little doesn't mean the calorie intake hasn't risen. But we have to live, we have to enjoy.
And let's talk about that a little.
I asked if I could eat some pop corn at a movie trip. I got the response that it's high in carbs and we should not do recreational eating.
Ok ok, I totally get that. But I go to the movies literally once a year! I don't enjoy going to the movies so on special occasions I do go if someone asks me. And yes that's once a year.
A small bag of popcorn (not American size), and I mean a small size, this one time will not do any harm, seriously. What it can do though is that you could begin to crave it and eat it more regularly at home, now that's bad. But a small bag, not even a 0.5l Coke bottle fits in it, will not do harm.
I had some and well IF and I say IF I have some again, it will be as a meal because that little bag made me full. And also some of it got stuck and I didn't feel that at all until I drank water. So I don't know even if I want it again.
I've done LOTs of diets, I've done really well but I have always given up! Why? because the restrictions were always so high. NEVER eat candy, NEVER eat cakes, NEVER eat any sweets, NEVER this and NEVER that.
Sure it works for some people but we all go through our own paths in this fight. Don't judge if someone decides to NEVER have something or if someone allows them selves to have a little on special occasions. What ever works best for us.
Like my doctor says, we are humans, we have to be nice to us once in a while, or else we will not manage. And once in a while does not mean every week, it means like once a month or on special occasions.
So, I might not loose weight this Christmas but I'm totally fine with that. I've accomplished so much this Christmas, I've won many victories (throwing out left overs) and my Christmas is so much better now than before. I love it and I feel good
After Christmas, I'm going to work harder on my goal. I have set a goal for April when I'm going to renew my clothes and I'm going to make it
Yeah I'm disappointed in myself.
I had a doctors appointment today. I didn't gain weight but didn't loose much either or 800 gr / 1,7 pound in 1 freaking month.
But I have nobody to blame other than myself. I'm finding this time of the year extremely difficult. I live in Iceland. Christmas is a huge thing here (no doubt it's like that in other countries that celebrate). The office is full with candy, cookies. I've been able to leave that alone but gosh it's still difficult.
It's the deserts at the canteen that has been difficult. Ice cream, Belgian waffle with ice cream (omg!), chocolate mousse cake! Seriously you are killing a food addict!
Then a Christmas buffet! ugh. I don't think I'm eating much much more than I did before, it's the calorie intake that has increased a lot.
Then I had to help my mom bake cookies for Christmas, and cakes. Seriously it's all over! Calories calories calories. It's driving me insane.
I talked it over with my doctor and he told me that I'm not the only one struggling right now. I just have to keep focus. At least I did not gain weight. And I asked for more fill in the band.
I got 0,1cc in the band and after lunch my stomach got full with air, it just didn't want to go out! didn't feel that well. Might have been stress at well. But hopefully this fill will help a little and make me feel full sooner.
Yeah this was a very bad month, Christmas isn't even here yet But I will get through this. My doctor told me that even though I gain weight after Christmas, it won't be the end of this. I will continue. But he did encourage me to be careful and eat carefully.
I plan to do that and my goal is not to gain weight over Christmas.
Nope, not an alcoholic hehe. I just have some alcohol problems as in choosing what to drink.
Before the lap band I mainly drank beer when out partying with friends. Now that's off the table I actually don't really miss beer since I never drink except when I'm going out to a club or loosen up with friends. That happens maybe 2-4 times a year so it's not something I'm crying over.
Last night there was Christmas party at work and I wanted to dance and have fun. There were 3 kind of alcohol free of charge and it was beer, white wine and red wine. I chose white wine. I had a few glasses.. ok maybe a lot LOL but omg I woke up wanting to throw up! I have had a lot more to drink than last night so this very unusual.
I did NOT want to throw up with the band, no way. So I do think that White Wine is off the table as well when I want to loosen up a bit. I think red wine will be the same.
So that only leaves the hard stuff, like clear liquids. Rum or Vodka. Some would say Gin but my taste buds don't agree with that haha.
I am also seriously thinking about never drinking alcohol again. It's not an important part of my life and well I should learn to party with out alcohol.
Through many of my diets through the years, alcohol has been forbidden and it was no problem. Ok I didn't take on the dance floor but I can learn.
This blog sounds like I'm obsessed with this. I'm really not. I'm writing this down so that I will remember when it comes to my next party in March. I will come back to this blog and be like .. ahhhh yes exactly, do not drink white wine.
OH and for the very first time I received a lot of compliments on my weight! People said they really noticed that I lost a lot of weight yay so happy.
It's been 6 months since I got banded. To be honest, I haven't felt like exercising at all!!
I mean I have been taking walks, parking my car far away from the entrance but no real exercise.
I had anxiety about it. I mean moving that heavy body, gosh so difficult. But last week I felt how easier is it now. Just walking up a small hill and feel the difference from last time I walked up the hill. It gave me confidence and I decided that the first change I got, I was going to do something about it.
So me, that LOVES to sleep and would sleep for as long as possible, woke up at 6 am (way to early for me) and went to the local swimming pool.
I stopped going there a year ago since my weight was dragging me down (hah!). My swimsuit didn't fit and I just didn't feel comfortable.But now I bought a year membership and I'm going to use that for sure.
So here in Iceland we have to take a shower before going into the pool. For the first time I felt proud of my scars, because they are a reminder. But nope, empty showers. I mean who wakes up that early!! seriously! haha. Ok ok I heard Americans do that a lot so ok you must think I'm nuts LOL. So nobody to show my scars too haha
But ok my swimsuit! It's this slim-up swimsuit (LOL) and a year ago it did not fit me! It almost looked like a Playboy swimsuit, it was showing that much of my body haha. But this time omg it covered all the desired areas!!! I was so extremely happy. I've actually never fit into that swimsuit that well before, not even when I bought it. What a great energy kick that was.
I decided to take it slow and swam 400 meters (438 yards?) since it was the first time I exercised in a long time. But it felt good.
Can't wait to get into the pool again
I know on this site there are a lot of stories about some amazing successes that people have made. Lost a lot more than I have and have achieved enormous success. Of course I'd like to be there, I mean who wouldn't??
But over the years doing all the dieting, trying to make life style changes and always failing, I have discovered that you have to do things your own way. You have to do it in the speed that you know you can do it in. If I try to overdo stuff, I do fail, that's just how I am. So taking babysteps works for me. I know I will not fail if I do it in babysteps.
But I do read other success stories, the inspire me and I love how we are different and how we go through this journey differently. As long as I am happy, as long as my doctor is happy then I'm doing things right for me.
But 40 pounds gone
Swimsuit fits me better than ever before
All my clothes are getting bigger
Need a new wardrobe
Feeling more confident
That in itself is a victory. Not the biggest victory, but still a victory. I've got 2 major milestones left. 1 when I will not be eligible for a gastric bypass here in Iceland and 2,2 pounds until I have officially never lost as much weight.
I decided to set myself small milestones to celebrate and no I won't award myself with food !!!
After those milestones, the next one is in 10 kg /22 pounds that I want to loose before April. That's when I'm going to travel to America and buy new clothes
Love those new milestones
I met my doctor on Wednesday and I've lost 18kg/40 pounds!! I was so happy. And he was very happy with me. He didn't want to give me a fill since I'm doing really well.
He also said I'm putting too much pressure on myself. That he was happy and I should be as well. I should read too much about how much other people are loosing because our bodies do not work the same.
But I'm incredibly happy. Also this is kind of a milestone. This is the second time I've lost 40 pounds in one run .... and well then I gained weight again. But this time, I'm going to get further, I'm going to loose more so ever pound after this will be a new milestone yay.
This Friday I was sooooo hungry at lunch that I was dreaming of all kinds of food I was gonna eat that day. I had an omelette at work. I ate a bit too much. I ate until I was full and I never do that. But hunger does that to you.
I was full all day! I couldn't imagine eating dinner even. I did but just a little.
Before the lap band, if I got full, I could begin to eat again in 2 hours but not now. And guess what, I love it.
This rarely happens that I eat so much. maybe happened 3-4 times in 6 months. I told my doctor that I was still learning and he understood that. I will do mistakes and learn from them. Ok 3-4 times eating to much haha, ok I might be a slow learner hehe
But I'm so happy now. I tried on a dress I wore last Christmas and it's too big now And my panties. Seriously, I need to renew them! They are a size too big.
My bra is still the same size ugh! hate that. But I was telling a coworker how much I'd lost and she told me that she noticed my hips ass getting smaller and yay again! soooo happy!
I've always hated my hips and ass. I would do the Kardashians proud. They were even large when I was in a normal weight.
But so far so good! loving my new life
Yeah I'm so happy.
Ok the back story:
2 years ago, I was exercising a lot and was heavier than I'm today. I went to a trip and did a lot of walking and it was difficult.
Today: not exercising almost at all (I know I know) but not as heavy and today I went on the same trip and it was easier to do the exact same walk!!
OMG so happy and I have to tell you that it has given me a confidence boost! For the first time, I feel like I can go out there and exercise and win a marathon! no ok not a marathon! Ever haha.
I've been afraid to go out there, to exercise because it's been difficult. All the heavy breathing, red face like I'm about to explode. But gosh today! A new life! I could actually do the walk (up a hill) without being out of breath like 2 years ago. All because of less weight on my body!
This is so motivating and I just had to write this down so that I would remember and that I can always go back to this memory if I'm feeling down.
Oh and I can't eat rice!!! so no sushi for me but hey! I can walk up a hill without loosing my breath! so worth it
Since being banded I have changed my lifestyle a lot. I don't eat as much, eat 2 meals a day and 1 smaller meal, so kind of 2 and half meal a day.
I only eat stuff I like and some food I don't even like anymore because after I had to chew and chew and chew, the taste just is that good anymore haha.
But to tell you the truth, I could cheat once in a while and have something not that healthy and still loose weight. But now after almost 6 months, it's ALL up to me!! If I cheat, I don't loose weight or at least not as much.
I'm learning and I think I'll keep on learning (hopefully hah!). For example, I need to drink more water than I used to. I try to drink 1 liter before lunch.
I do believe that if you think that the band is going to do the job for you, then you are going to fail, you are not going to meet your weight goal.
We all have to remember that. Touch you scar and think about what you have gone through and what a powerful tool you have in there.
I have my ups and down, I loose much weight one week and hardly anything the next week. It's a battle that I will win, it will take time but I will!
It's almost been 6 months since I had the lap band surgery. Still the best thing I've done for my body! I admit that I'd like to have lost more weight specially when I read about how much other people have lost.
But I'm at 15 kg or 33 pounds. I had 1 month set back because of sickness and travel, I have to remember that. I also have to remember that this is not a competition, that I'm doing this for myself and nobody else. Also that I'm only 3 kg or 6.6 pounds away from a personal milestone. Can't wait.
I also have to remember that for the first time in 20 years, I'm living a normal life. I chose to live normal and not diet. I eat like other people do. Ok I eat a LOT less than what other people do but I now can enjoy food like other people do. I allow myself to have a cake if there is a cake at the office, or ice cream if there is some at the office. Just a small amount for the taste and no seconds! Before the lap band, I NEVER had any sweets and it was mentally destroying me that I never allowed myself to do anything and still gain weight. Yes I did and by over eating normal food.
But because I allow myself to have a cake, ice cream, candy.. (no not too often!! seriously) then I loose weight slower than I could.
But I also always check if the cake (omg love cakes) are worth it, worth the calories. For example 2 days ago at work there was a store bought chocolate cake. I like home made more, so I decided it was not worth it. I mean it would have tasted ok but not worth it since it wasn't a fantastic cake!
Also there was ice cream for desert at work and mmmmm I wanted some really badly. But nope, I decided not to have some since I was going out in the weekend and there is a birthday party I'm going to as well. So I do have self control
I went partying yesterday for the first time. I was a bit nervous so I decided not to go to a club. Just stay at the party at a friends place. I had white wine. There was beer but nope no carbonated drinks. I had read that some people don't need a lot of drinks to get a little tipsy so I was kinda expecting that. But nope, it was the same as before the lap band. I had to drink the same amount to feel a little tipsy. I didn't want to get drunk and loose control and throw up. My doctor and reading about the lap band have all warned about that.
But I never get that drunk anyway so I wasn't that worried. I always just get a little tipsy and happy
But I don't like alcohol that much so I was hoping I only needed 2 or 3 glass of white wine. Maybe when I loose more weight, I will need less. Oh gosh this is such a luxurious problem haha.
So this is the day after, slight hung over as in head ache and no binge eating or wanting really greasy unhealthy food so yay I've been a good girl.
That's it for now
Ok so my edema has been bothering me.
To explain, I gained 2kg or 4.4 pounds over night this morning! And no I did not eat that much. This just happens *sigh*
But ok now it's evening and I've lost most of it again. But I can hardly eat for breakfast and lunch.
So what to do?
I've decided to approach things differently. I don't eat breakfast and I have no problem with that.
For lunch I've decided to go back to basic. Mashed food and liquid. I had a mashed banana (I like that), small protein drink and a small smoothie.
Now I'll see how long I manage that. I was a bit hungry at 4 pm when I came back home but I was careful not to overeat.
So now I'm going to stop complaining and adjust. I've seen that other people also have problems with AM eating so I'm there as well.
But every time I have to pull up my pants or even panties (haha), makes me very happy and gosh never turning back!
In Iceland we are big on traditions, at least my family. Ok probably all countries have their traditions. On Christmas, we always have this special drink, it's Orange Soda (kinda like Fanta) mixed with a Malt drink (non alcoholic) Both are carbonated. I love this drink. I could drink liters of it every day for Christmas, and well yes Easter as well. But lap band doesn't allow carbonated drinks. I tried one glass of it last weekend and I didn't feel that good. I had nausea that didn't go away until I let out a huge burp 3-4 hours later! How am I going to survive without that drink???
But I will I know I will. I will just find something really good instead. I tried a hot apple cider the other day that I made myself. It was seriously good but full of calories. I'm going to make that drink for Christmas as a special occasion.
Then we LOVE our smoked meat. I love it as well. My fave meat actually. Nope, can't eat it. Had it last weekend as well (dads bday) and I had problems with lunch all week. I could get some down and wasn't hungry but I had Productive Burping every day and I had to deliver some in the toilet. And I was at work! OMG but I eat by my desk so that I can eat at my own speed and not worry about other people.
I think this week has mentally been the most difficult since I went off liquid diet at the beginning. The smoked meat gave be lots of edema and I can't follow food tradition anymore.
But I saw the weight go down anyway! 0.4 pounds or 200 grams. Not a lot but with edema, it is something. It made me happy, yes that tiny weight loss did everything for me.
I'm always learning, maybe a slow learner and I do the same mistake twice or ok three times haha, but I have to avoid smoked food and salt. If I do have those things, I have to suck it up and well feel bad for a week.
Is it worth it? nope not worth it. I even thought while this was going on, if I regretted the lap band, but nope, still love it. I can survive the productive burping, the slime and the fluid. I already feel overall better in my body. My underwear is even too big now! gosh haha, what a lovely feeling. Ok very bad for my bank account but it feels so good that my panties are about to slide down by itself if you get what I mean
And today I saw that I have a follower on my blog a woman who had the surgery at the same time I did and my blog is helping her. I saw her comment 1 month late. But wow that made me happy. I always thought I was just blogging for myself. Talking about my failures and how my mind works through all this. I'm glad someone like my blog
For those who don't know what edema is, it is excessive fluid in our body. Your face is like a balloon when you wake up and your fingers are like sausages. When you touch your skin, it doesn't feel like your own body, feels like jelly in there. Then the longer you are awake, then the fluid goes from your upper body and to your feet. But that doesn't bother me as much as when it's in my face, fingers and around the band.
Today I had my third fill since my surgery on May 8th. I have now got about 6.1 ml/cc in the band.
The fill was painful!! The nurse was stuck the needle in and was moving the needle inside of me to find the port opening. She told me to push my body like I was doing a push up and I had to hold that position for 5 min to keep the port still. OMG it was painful!! I asked for a break because it was starting to hurt really bad where she had the needle.
By then the doctor noticed that something was wrong and came to me. He took a new needle and stuck it in (omg it hurt because I was so sore) and found the port after like 30 sec.
He then told me that the port is lying with the opening at the side. Ok sorry for the language but F*** that S*** sorry, but it hurt, really hurt. And now I'm really sore and have a blue mark.
I kept thinking, where is that X-ray machine some doctors use when making that fill! Seriously ugh. I like my doctor but I don't like pain. I'm gonna remember this next time and tell them that the port is sideways. I might even opt for an operation to fix it. But let's see what happens.
Anyway, I'm slightly under the curve for the weight loss. I'm 31 pounds down since May 8th. Trust me, I'm happy! really happy. I haven't had this weight for YEARS! but I'm disappointed in myself for not staying on the curve. But my doctor and I blame it on my trip to Spain where I didn't stay on a health diet.
I'm going to prove to myself that I can be on the curve in the beginning of December. He said I'd be there in January but I'm putting some pressure on myself now.
I admit that the two weeks since I went on the vacation have been really difficult mentally. I was so sick on the vacation and soon after I got home, I was laying in bed for 3 days. My throat hurt really bad and well ice cream helped a LOT. Felt like when I had my tonsils removed. And trust me, ice cream does not help with weight loss haha.
Don't judge though and think I'm not ready for this battle. I had a relapse. I did loose weight through this period, just not enough weight.
I am now on the straight and narrow and back on track. I think you learn from a relapse. Being sick isn't a good thing and you seek things that make you feel good.
I have been mentally ill as well a few years back. People were either getting sick or dying around me. I took it hard and had depression. I gained a LOT of weight. But I have learned from that experience. I know the warning signs. Food will not be my friend like that again.
Now I have learned about physical illness and food can't be my friend there either. I will not allow it.
Weight loss is a battle. You might think you have it all, you had a surgery, you are mentally ready for this, physically ready but what makes you stronger is if you can stand up again when you fall down. That will make you stronger in this weight loss battle.
But 31 pound is something to be proud of and I'm going to remember all the milestones and reach for the next one. I can't wait!
Ok so it's been a while since I last blogged but a lot has been going on.
I'm from Iceland. An island way up north. So I just came back from travelling to Spain, a Mediterranean country and let me tell you, things there are different from what I'm used to.
I've been to Spain 3 times before and never thought that much about food. I just ate what ever and loved it.
But having the lap band is more difficult. The town I was staying at didn't have that many restaurants but when I went to them, they carried BREAD BREAD BREAD. They loved serving bread or huge dishes!
I love tabas mmmm but it's served on bread, thick slices of bread. I can only eat thin slices.
So when out eating, I ended up eating fries, omelette and lasange. But only found one restaurant carrying lasagne.
But I tried cooking at home as well, so I wouldn't starve and didn't really want omelette or fries for every meal.
The temperature! Gosh it was HOT. That mean that my polar body was swollen ever day with extra fluid and that also meant that my stomach opening was a lot smaller. I had to make a lot of trips to the bathroom spit out food that got stuck in the opening. The Productive burping was terrible! No matter what I ate. My worst case was a tomato!! Hello!! A tomato, a very well chewed tomato! I just had terrible time with it. That's why I was afraid to eat what ever was on the menu. But fries, I know they are deep fried and not that healthy, but I could chew them into baby food!
What does a hot woman need in a hot weather??? ice cream. mmmm love some good ice cream. And I had a lot of it. It was a guilty pleasure. But it was so good in the hot weather.
Alcohol. I was very very careful with that. I wanted a cold beer very badly but I stuck to cocktails with no carbonated liquids in it and yes that was just fine. And never got drunk or tipsy or what ever. Did not want to add hangover and throwing up to the PB!!
I even at once point thought that it would be best to finish the trip off by eating only chocolate and ice cream because that went down very well haha.
Also the company I was with. They were so nice and understanding but I was giving myself hard time for making them wait for me while I ate really really really slowly. We could never eat anywhere in hurry, ever. I came with a solution though, I sometimes grabbed a banana because that's easy to eat on a go.
Now at home, I'm still swollen from the travel but I couldn't wait stepping on the scale and no weight gain!! to my surprise! I'll see how it went after my body has adjusted after the travel.
I have to tell you though that for the first time in my life, I had lots of left overs at the restaurants I ate at. I felt like apologizing for it to the waiters, for not finishing my food. I've always finished everything at a restaurant but I was very careful, even though the portions were big, that I would only eat until I was satisfied (not full) and I'm proud of that.
Overall, I did enjoy my trip very much and Spain is a fantastic country. And I've always enjoyed the food there before the lap band. But this was a difficult trip food wise and not that healthy I'm glad it didn't set me back tough.
I'm happy to be home and on Monday hopefully my body has recovered and that I will not have any extra fluid.
I've now had the lap band for almost 4 months. I've learned a lot through these 4 months. I've lost about 27 pounds in these 4 months and I'm happy about that, actually very happy about that. Summer has been difficult. I've been naughty when it has come to food. I've had ice cream, cakes and lots of other stuff. But the difference between this summer and the summer last year is that I eat like a normal person. I don't sit with the box of ice cream and finish it in 1 evening. My portions are small.
What I've learned also that at a dinner table, I have to stand up as soon as I finish my meal. I can sit and chat with the people if there is still some food on the table.
I have also stopped going to the canteen with my co workers. After a few "stuck" and Productive burping, it became too much. Once I had to throw all of my food in the garbage because I just couldn't get it down. I talked to the chef and I am now able to take some food with me to my office and eat there. Where it's quiet and I can do it in my own speed.
No more breakfast for me. Now I eat lunch, something when I get home from work between 4-5 and then dinner at 8 latest. That routine is going really well for me.
I can eat almost everything. I can have pizza and tortilla. I have not tried regular bread yet but since I'm going to travel to the Mediterranean this week, I might have to try some since it might get difficult to control what you can eat, what's available. But I'm going to try my best to avoid bread. Might toast it if I can so that the texture wont be as soft.
Even though I have the productive burping very often, like almost once a day, I've learned to live with it. When I get it, I stop eating for a while, maybe 5 minutes and then continue with even smaller bite. I still love my lab band, I would do it all over again even with all the information I have now and some bad episodes.
27 pounds in 4 months, I think it's amazing. My doctor likes the speed. Says it's a normal speed, not too slow and not to fast. Very good for the skin to heal from being BIG.
I've still got a long way to go. But this journey has been easier than I thought it would be, yes I said it, really it has. But it has some ups and down and I know there will be a lot of downs before everything becomes perfect. But as long as I'm loosing weight, I'm happy.
Last time I was at this weight was 3 years ago, I gained much weight last years since I went through some difficult time. But now I reached a milestone that I was looking forward to very much.
My next milestone is 27 pound more, that means I will not be eligible for gastric bypass anymore. And that's something to celebrate!
I saw my doctor/Surgeon yesterday for my third visit after the lap band. I was supposed to have my 3rd fill but he decided against it because he was so happy with how I'm doing yay
On average I'm loosing ca 0,800 grams or 1.7 pounds a week and he said I was on the speed that her prefers the most. I'm so happy. I was so nervous since I wanted to loose more before my visit and usually when I'm on extreme diets, the weight goes down faster than this, but then again, I've never lasted more than 4 months on Extreme diets. Lap band is not a diet but a lifestyle, so I'm extremely happy
I had also been thinking that I didn't want another fill yet. I have had a few "stuck" episodes and I have problems eating when I wake up. I think that my band is balanced now and I know when, how and what I can eat.
I also talked about me eating to fast sometimes and that I am afraid of band slippage. He told me not to worry about that too much. The band was stuck where it is. But I should eat slowly and practice doing that. But that I wont damage anything. Even though I have a PB or I have a "stuck" episode, I shouldn't worry about damaging anything.
I also talked to him about me going abroad on a plane and what I should do, that I was worried I would gain weight. He told me to relax and he would see me again after the trip because he doesn't want to make any changes before the trip, in case I feel bad after it. He also told me not to eat on the plane, only fluids. It's a 4 hour flight so I think I will be able to manage but good to know though.
Today at work we had pork for lunch. I felt it a bit dry after the first bite and it felt like it wasn't going through very well. I stopped eating the pork and ate the potato, veggies and some cottage cheese. I never threw out food before the lap band. I always finished everything on my plate. So this is a very new thing, not finishing everything on my plate.
I'm becoming a food snob! haha, yes I my stomach is not a trash can anymore. Only gets A+ food
Happy girl today
I spend a LOT of time to think about my new life.
I crossed the big 20 pounds weight loss since the Lap band surgery yay. Very happy about that. And I got my third fill on August 5th. I'm going to talk to my doctor about the edema problem I had. I don't know if I want to or can experience it again. Maybe he will give me some meds for that in case it happens again. I stole a tablet from my mom. I hope he won't see it as an excuse to loose weight faster or something. I guess he's heard it all.. oh dear.
Anyway, last night when I just turned of the lights in bed, I was thinking about what's going on and the best feeling is to feel good when going to bed. Not full and not hungry, just good. That did not happen before. I was usually hungry or just stuffed my mouth with something and was full. It feels nice to yeah feel good haha.
I've also spent some time reading messageboards from all over the internet about WLS questions. Where people ask questions and explain they are not ready about this and that change.
I can tell you that a person that has a WLS surgery is someone who has tried it all! And most likely couldn't manage because they were not ready or it was too difficult. At least that was me. I'm a food addict or a foodaholic as I call it. Love eating.
But the Lap band has given me something that I didn't think it would do. I enjoy food a lot more now than before. I am now forced to eat slow, slooooooooow so yeah I get to enjoy the taste longer. I also don't bother eating food I don't like anymore. And at dinner when there are lots of stuff on the table, meat, veggies, potatoes, I have begun to pick the food I really like. We don't get to eat that much now, so why bother with food that we don't love??
But bred. I'm noticing how much I love bread. I didn't know that we shouldn't eat bread before the lap band and you can imagine the shock I had when I heard I couldn't !! I still haven't gotten over that.
But I can have a tortilla and thin crusted pizza. I have no problem with that so I guess I can eat bread. BUT I don't want to open that can of worms because who knows what will happen after the next fill. Maybe I won't be able to eat any of it, no pizza (omg!) and no tortilla.
But I'm glad I didn't know about the bread thing because I seriously don't know if I had gone through with the lap band.
But today I love my lap band and I hope I can keep it for the rest of my life
Ok I need to eat! I am so hungry!
But the food just gets stuck and doesn't go through.. some of it does but most of it doesn't.
So today I took one edema tablet to help with the edema. And omg, I'm constantly going to the bathroom! I counted 5 times within one hour! (and I'm at work haha)
I normally don't take water releasing tablets but now I just had to.
I am excited and nervous to see how my lunch will go. I'm going to eat something soft and see if it passes. If not, then I'm going to call my doctor to find out what might wrong.
But I'm almost sure it's edema, lots of extra fluid that makes everything tighter.
Crossing my fingers!
PS: So good to blog about this so that I can go back to this message and read about my experiences and remember not to eat smoked or salty food again!! never ever!!
Since Wednesday (it's Monday today) I've had huge problem eating! Everything gets stuck!! (I'm hammering the keyboard)
It took me an hour to eat my scrambled eggs with mushrooms and sausage, very well chewed, for lunch. And the portion was just the size of a cup. It has never got stuck before today.
Tonight, I'm eating high quality meat, sauce, boiled veggies and omg it felt like I was having a heart attack! And it all came up again.
I'm going to take a LOT smaller bites and see if it helps, and chew chew chew.
I think it might be because I am having some edema right now and it might cause swelling where the band is. I was eating some smoked meat on Tuesday and leftovers on Wednesday. And then travelling this weekend, I haven't really gotten rid of the edema. So I guess that means smoked meat is of the table for me. I love it sooooo much, but NOT worth it!
Forgetting for a split second you have a lap band is the worst!
I was hungry I stuffed my mouth with food, chewed a little and swallowed and OMG!!! I take my lap band seriously and I am always trying to be careful and eat correctly.
This is NOT my proudest moment. The food got stuck, there was pain! like my upper body was going to explode! I was able to get rid of the food without throwing up by using the muscles (that I didn't know I had in there) and gagged a few times, but did not throw up.
It took about an hour, a painful hour!
Still worth it having the lap band.
Yesterday I went out to meet my family at a camping trip out in the country. We had some BBQ and while everyone stuffed their faces with food, I just ate a little. And I had enough food, not starving myself.
Then I looked at them still eating (it took me about 20 minutes to finish my portion) and thought about how odd it is, not eating so much. I used to be the one who ate the most of all of them.
And I realized that I used to be a slave to food. And how much of my time went about eating and thinking about food.
I'm having my third fill on Wednesday next week. I have to talk to my doctor about my trip overseas to the Mediterranean sea. I am somewhat nervous about it because you eat differently when travelling. It's going to be hot (Ice cream and cold drinks) and then unusual eating habits. The trip is going to last 2 weeks, I hope he can give me some good advice.
The longer time is passes since the surgery, the less stuff there is to blog about.
This Friday it will be 11 weeks since I had the lap band.
I‘m still very happy about the lap band. It has changed my life in so many ways.
Yesterday and today I've had blocking issues. The food gets stuck, even though I chew and chew and chew. Today at work we had chicken breast for lunch but it was dry and I could feel that I was a bit tight. I just stopped eating the chicken I just ate the veggies and potato. I don't want anyone to know I have the lap band so I have to be careful not to get BP at work.
I can have a bite of chocolate or a small slice of a cake without wanting to have more. I feel that for the first time in
about 17 years or more, I can eat like a normal person. I eat the same portions as my „skinny friend“, no wonder she‘s „skinny“
I use the „“ because to me she‘s skinny but she‘s a normal looking girl.
I also love that when there are deserts or a cake, I am at piece with just one slice, small slice.
Before the lap band, I was always hoping that people wouldn‘t take big slices so that I could have 2 or 3 or even 4.
DON‘T EAT MY CAKE! I was always worried that I wouldn‘t have enough.
Today I find my self sharing! I had some people over for dinner and I had a dessert. I actually gave them the rest to take home.
OMG that would NEVER have happened before. I would have eaten the rest alone!
Ok let‘s talk about summers. This season is difficult. People have more time to prepare stuff to eat. Always baking and having people
over for lunch or dinner. And ice cream omg!! seriously who can say no to ice cream.
I‘m not behaving well in this area. But I‘m still loosing weight and my doctor is happy about my process.
But then again, I don‘t eat like I‘m starving. I just have a taste. I bought two sorbet ice creams in May. Small boxes and they are still in
my freezer, I haven‘t had half of it. Before surgery I would probably have bought 4 or 5 more boxes or more..
My biggest problem still is that I‘m eating too fast!! And oh my the PB is terrible! I‘m finding out more and more what I can‘t eat and
I avoid that food. Because PB is not worth it.
I‘ve also found out that if I get too hungry, I eat faster and I get PB. I have to remind my self always to eat sloooooooow!
That‘s it for now J
I got my second fill on July 8th. I now have 6 cc/mm in my band.
I was very very nervous since the first fill was very painful because of the area around the port being swollen. I had a huge black mark around it for about 2 weeks.
Now I didn't feel a thing and I could drink a cup of water without any problems.
Dr. Paul O'Brien is one of the doctors that has developed the lap band, he says that you can drink with food according to a new study. My doctor follows his procedure. I asked him about what he thought about drinking water with food. My doctor said that if I had to drink water, I should always wait for 30 sec after I swallowed my last bite. I was very happy since sometimes and some foods I just have to have a drink. Like if the food is too dry, spicy, hot/warm.
I had a tiny bit of water with a spicy salsa.. it caught me by surprise. I don't like spicy food so the salsa was thrown out. I was at the canteen at work and didn't know it was going to be that spicy. But I'm going to be careful with drinking while eating still.
Second question, can I take Ibuprofen. Yes I can!! But only in liquid hmmm that sucks because normally Ibuprofen liquid is made for children so the dosage is very small. That means I have to take a LOT of liquid to get 200 -400 mg. So if you live in America, UK or Spain and know about a high dosage Ibuprofen Liquid, please let me know. I have a bad back and need my Ibuprofen from time to time.
Third question, what does my doctor feel about bread and pasta. Well he said they can cause blockage and he doesn't like bread at all (for us). I asked if he was ok with me trying it out to see if it would cause blockage. I told him I was having a craving for pizza.
He told me that us humans, we love to eat the food love. I could try pizza but he wanted me to limit how often I eat it, if I could.
So tonight, we grilled some Pizza on our BBQ. We made a very thin crust pizza for me. I had two slices and it went down without any problems. But I was chewing a lot!!! I was still on my first slice when everyone else had about 3-4 or more (didn't count). I didn't eat the end of the pizza since the crust was thicker. But omg!! I can eat pizza yay. I'm going to limit pizza eating though. Maybe once a month. But then again I don't know how I will be after the next fills.
My doctor was happy about my weight loss. He told me it was a slow process. I'm ok with it being a slow process since the skin will adjust more. But I can already see my skin becoming loose on some parts of my body. I see more body change than weight change.
I still have to learn how to chew slowly. PB (Productive burping) is terrible!! I hate when that happens, specially around people that don't know that I have a lap band. It happens maybe twice a week and I normally have to spit out the food or kinda pressure the food up in to my mouth and spit out. Why? because when food gets stuck, there is a lot of slimy stuff there as well and it makes it worse. So I like to get the slimy stuff out. I don't know where the slimy stuff comes from but it doesn't help the food going through the band.
Other than the PB, I'm so happy I got the lap band! So happy! even if I could never eat bread or pizza again, I'm still happy
The past week has been a HUGE test for me.
I don't eat candy often, about 3 times a year. Christmas, Easter and then on one family trip every summer.
I just came back from the family trip.
Before the trip, I went shopping for food. I bought some candy, but only like 5% of what I usually buy. I also prepared egg muffins (egg, bacon, ham, veggies) for breakfast.
I can tell you that the trip wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I ate VERY little candy. I came home with almost all of it. That's the first time!! I did have Ice cream twice.
But food was more difficult. There was always BBQ, every night, with baked potatoes, veggies and meat. Then there was some snacking through out the day, something I haven't done since getting banded. The last day was specially bad. We had some cake, Dorritos, Dip (cream cheese, salsa).
Wow she's bad you might think, but I did have a taste of it all but didn't eat a lot.
AND it was my birthday 5 days ago. I bought a cake, because you have to have a cake when it's your birthday! But I didn't even bring it out!! I didn't feel like having a cake. But I brought it out the day after. I also brought some other sweets to have at my birthday but they all came back home with me.
Now the result of the test. I should have done less snacking. I can eat more now than after my first fill so I ate bigger portions than I'm used to. I don't think I failed though but I've learned a lot through this week.
I went on the scale when I came back home. I hadn't gained any weight but I hadn't lost any weight either. I have a lot of edema, something I haven't had a lot of since the surgery.
Now it's back to work, eat 3 portions a day. No snacking. I have my second fill on Monday. I'm a bit stressed since the first fill was very uncomfortable.
I have a few questions for my doctor:
Dr. O'Brien says you can drink with food.. what will my doctor say
What happens if I eat a thin crust pizza (I'm craving it)
Can I try some pasta?
What about toasted bread?
I'm noticing now that my diet was based on bread! And after 2 months of not eating bread, I'm feeling so much better. No stomach pains like before. So I will NEVER go back to my past bread diet. But 1 slice of pizza... grrr I want.
Edit: Today Friday is my step on the scale day and I am so surprised but I did loose 1 kg this week or 2,2 pounds. I am so surprised that I turned backwards on the scale, and forwards and I would have stood on my hands if I could.
This means I have lost a total of 8 kg or 17,6 pounds since I got the lap band So happy
Ok I know it's only been 6 weeks since I got the lap band but I have to tell you that I'm very very happy
I've had my ups and downs like everyone else but overall I'm very happy.
One of the reasons for why I had the lap band is so that I can eat and have a normal relationship with food.
About 3 years ago, I went to rehab where they thought you about food and exercise. It was a preparation for Gastric bypass surgery. There were 8 weeks in patient program and then a few times we had to go to meetings. I'm still in the program but I said no to the Gastric bypass even though it was for free. Instead I had a lap band that costs me about $9000 because the insurance doesn't cover lap band procedures. Call me crazy but I didn't want an invasive surgery.
At rehab they said that you can allow your self to eat everything you want, just very small amounts and not all the time. Of course they say that you should try to leave unhealthy stuff alone but if you really really want some, then take a walk to try to forget and if you don't, then you can have just a small amount. This shouldn't be a punishment.
Now I probably sound like I'm not ready for lap band but I am. I stopped drinking soft drinks 4 years ago, I only eat candy 3 times a year (Christmas, Easter and one family vacation).
But what I want is to go to a birthday party where there is a cake and just have a tiny slice and that's it. Or if I am at someones house and they offer me some candy, I can have one piece and that's it.
Before I would probably have ate the whole cake!! (well not really, I'm polite haha)
Yesterday it was the Icelandic Independence day and I had the task to go to the bakery and buy the cakeS. I bought two and I had a slice of each, but the slices were so tiny that you wouldn't call it a slice. I ate it and I was done. I didn't even want more. Before the lap band I would probably have had 3 slices of EACH cake!!
That's what I call a healthy relationship with food.
Of course I know that if I'm not careful, I won't loose weight as quickly. But like with the cakes yesterday, I ate the "slices" as my second meal of the day. I only had 3 meals. I calculate how the day is going to be.
My family is very proud of me and see how much I've changed. I also see it. My skin has changed, feels "bigger". I'm down from XXL in pants to XL and I've officially lost 6kg or 13.2 pounds since the surgery.
My second fill (and I need it) will be on July 7th. I actually can't wait since I feel I can eat more and the hours between lunch and dinner are difficult. So I'm trying to delay lunch so that there will be less hours between. That's helping a little.
Oh and I'm making seriously good egg muffins/cupcake for breakfast (not cakes, just like omelette in a muffin/cupcake pan).
And also, I was watching the 8 golden rules video and Dr. Paul O'Brien says you can drink while eating yay!! so happy about that. But my doctor is following Dr. Paul O'Brien and recommends listening to him
Ok I'm 5 weeks post op and I've been doing really good. I need to begin exercising though but my neck and back has been giving me seriously bad time.
I had to go and buy some liquid ibuprofen and I can hardly manage the days without it. Hopefully I'll get better very soon!
I'm loosing some weight and I saw a new number on the scale that I haven't seen for a whole year!! I was very happy. It was this morning but it's not my day to step on the scale so I'm not counting it as weight loss yet.
But it comes as a bit of a surprise! I am having food craving!!! I want something unhealthy soooo bad now. So yesterday was a relapse. I had some chicken and then fries!! yes fries!! Only like 10 of them (that's not a lot for me!!) and then after like 4 hours I had maybe 4 dorritos chips with salsa dip and cheese and little bit of ice cream. OMG it's so difficult to write this down but I decided to be honest about this.
I decided since I was doing to eat this, I was going to have just small amount. And comparing to how I was before getting banded, this is nothing!
Today we had guest over and there were some waffles baked. Not Belgian waffles though, but some very soft ones. I had 1 waffle with jam and whipped cream. Usually I would have like 3 or even 4. And I didn't even crave more waffles. That was surprising to me.
Weekends are so hard. It's from decades of abusing food on weekends but I need to work my mind into not thinking about food on weekends.
I don't believe that a relapse is the end of everything. You fall and you stand up again.
My weight has dropped since the surgery, a healthy drop. I'm only counting my weight loss from the day of surgery, not before.
But my body has changed a lot more than my weight. I don't know why but it has.
I was in a bath tub yesterday and I could easily put my arms down by the side. If I did that before, it would get really tight.
My clothes are getting bigger, specially around the arms. I notice my chin has changed and my fingers. My pants are way to big now, and I need to buy new.
Why there is more change in the body that the weight surprises me. I mean I have weighed this before and not looked like this. I love it
I struggle a little with the amount of food to eat. I try to figure it out but it's difficult, specially at work where I'm not measuring in a cup. I have a small dessert plate that I put my food on and I think it's the right amount, maybe a little more, maybe.
But then when I'm eating with other people, I sometimes forget my speed and eat faster than I should. That means I get a reflux and have to wait a few minutes before I continue.
But hey, it's only my 4th day on solids, so I'm learning.
But I keep thinking about Band slippage and I'm so afraid it will happen. Last night when sleeping, I woke up a few times thinking I could feel my band. I guess it's imagination but it's nerve wrecking I think. I need to Google how it feels like when people have a band slippage so that I can stop worrying about it so much.
But over all it's going really well. I need to add some amount of food for breakfast because I get hungry so soon. I usually don't eat a lot. So now I have some chicken sausages and eggs. Cheerios is NOT working as breakfast. It tastes terrible when you have to chew it a lot. But I'm not used to eat hot breakfast but I'm kinda looking forward to it.
Over and out