This is more so just a rant I guess, ever since I began this weight loss journey and trying to get to my final goal of gastric bypass I have had countless people tell me surgery is the easy way out and I've had people pretty much judge my worth based off of how fat or skinny I am. I had someone at work tell me how I would look better once I lost the weight which I agree but she went into detail about my face and how fat it was. How my eye lids have too much skin on them which I'm not sure what she's talking about because my eyes look normal? She then proceeded to tell me how going to the gym and eating better and drinking water would help me. I've been following my dietician, I've been drinking more than 64 oz of water a day and doing my workouts and she just said "oh". Mind you she weighs 110 lbs telling me all this with her fast metabolism. I guess I'm just extra self-conscious now and I wish women especially were more empowering.

I was always told that women should be good to other women. In truth I found it just rarely happens. For what ever reason this person needed to feel better than you and really put you down. That is on her, not you. She is part of the problem and not the answer.

People on here rarely tell anyone but immediate family about their surgery. I only told my husband and son. People have no clue what is involved. Thin people have no idea what a fat persons life is like. They have never walked in our shoes.

You will find good advice on here and really good knowledge. It will be great to get to know you

I don't worry about women being good to me, I worry about ME being good to me. Someone will always have something to say. I love the progress I'm making, but I've had some tell me I look sickly, or like I have "Ozempic face" (I didn't even know what that means until my cousin told me...I've never taken any kind of shot or med for weight loss), or that I took the easy way out, or that I ruined any chance I have to just live a normal life and eat what I want. But you know what? They don't live in my body, they don't pay my bills, they don't live my life, and they don't cut me a check every 2 weeks. So what they say or think is irrelevant. I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm finally starting to live my best life, and I really don't care what anyone else thinks about how I got here. The point is, I'm here.

Edited August 8, 20233 yr by SleeveToBypass2023

This is exactly why I didn’t tell anyone other than my husband and mom before my surgery and I still won’t say anything unless the person asking me is also obese. Skinny people will never understand. They think it is a laziness problem and if we would just exercise and eat less then maybe we could lose. Okay. Right. Like I haven’t tried that since I was 10. I’ve abused my body and treated it so harshly to lose weight all so people like that would accept me until I got to the point where their opinions and acceptance no longer matter. This was MY choice. I did it for ME and my children. I did it so I can see them grow up and have kids of their own. I don’t need anyone’s negativity ruining my mental health and progress. Brush it off and do you! Who cares what anyone else has to say about it.

It's difficult when people who've never been overweight or obese want to give "advice" to those of us who have been/are. They will NEVER understand how we feel emotionally or physically. They will never have to worry about things that we worry about daily. They just never will. The difficulties we experience don't even cross their minds. For this reason, I don't put any stock in what those particular people think or feel about my decisions. I don't care who knows what I've done. If they ask, I'll tell them the truth. If someone else tells them, I still don't care. It could be my age, it could be my IDGAF personality or a combination of the two! Lol! I DO think, however, that not caring about the opinions of people who are ignorant to our plight gets easier and easier with each passing year. Wishing you peace of mind, success in your journey, and joy in your life!

What everyone else said, plus screw 'em. For me, I did this for me. My health. My confidence. My life. Next time, I'd just walk away and tell them I don't need your judgment and negativity.
Sorry that happened to you. People can be so insensitive.

It's too bad that people don't view Bariatric surgery for what it is, a medical intervention. Nothing is easy about it except that the tool we are given causes all our efforts to finally actually work for us.

People are plain ignorant about the medical reasons behind weight gain. After all the years of working out and dieting with no results, I say we deserve this. But it's easier for them to think we chose surgery over doing the work.

No one has said anything negative to me yet, but if they do, I guess I'll have to school them. LOL

I am sure you will see after talking to a bunch of us. That having a bariatric surgery is but only one part of your whole weight loss journey. You still have to exercise, eat right, and get plenty of rest. Just like most people here say...the surgery is just one tool in your weight loss goals.

For me over a 10 year period, I gained weight and lost it more than 4 times, and all the way down to like 200 lbs from 280. I never had trouble losing weight, its just that I could not maintain that weight loss long term, unless I was on a very strict diet.

I am hoping that the Gastric Sleeve I got will help me be able to maintain the weight of 185 lbs this time.

So I just don't agree with what some people say, that surgery is the easy way out. There is still a lot to losing weight and even going through the whole process of committing to the surgery and recovery. I think most of us were all crazy dieters before we decided on surgery...its just now we have another tool and we got some extra help we need.

It is sad how some women feel the need to tear other women down in order to feel better about themselves. Clearly she's got some **** going on somewhere. People like that used to hurt me until I really understood it is more about them than it was about me. I've been overweight most of my life. I've had people telling me how to fix that for most of my life too. As time has gone by and age has taught some wisdom I've come to understand that the only person's opinion that truly matters is mine. Everyone else can choke on it. Hahahahaha!

But OMG does the advice mill get annoying!! I store up good one liners for this purpose, with a generous dose of sarcasm. I would have looked at her wide eyed and said "Wow, that's a really interesting perspective. I had no idea you think about me so much! I'm flattered!" ?I usually just deflect what people are saying and they get the hint, but for the stubborn ones I won't hesitate to make them as uncomfortable as they've just made me. <3

2 hours ago, ChunkCat said:

I store up good one liners for this purpose, with a generous dose of sarcasm.

Same here. I'm usually kind to others, male or female but if they cross me all bets are off. xD

I used to work in an all-women's health club and have never seen so much competition and cattiness firsthand. Sad but true.

I have since adopted this methodology.

Not a woman or man thing but a people thing in my experience OP.

If people haven't been obese ever than they just haven't experienced what we have. If those people pass judgement on your experience then I would equate that to someone giving me advice on mothering a child if they've never been a mother or never had a child.

Acknowledge their contribution but don't accept or validate it and just keep on keeping on with your plan!

Thanks for replying to my post everyone, I've read all your comments and they made me feel better about the situation. I dont usually react to people when they say insensitive things to me since I've dealt with that all my life but something about that day just set me off. I love the responses I got and know they're much appreciated. Also I wil be taking some of the advice of not telling anyone who isn't very close to me in the future to avoid this situation again. I should've thought about that before I said it to her but a lesson learned.

Edited August 15, 20233 yr by olivia95

On 8/8/2023 at 12:07 PM, sleevedinthe817 said:

This is exactly why I didn’t tell anyone other than my husband and mom before my surgery and I still won’t say anything unless the person asking me is also obese. Skinny people will never understand. They think it is a laziness problem and if we would just exercise and eat less then maybe we could lose. Okay. Right. Like I haven’t tried that since I was 10. I’ve abused my body and treated it so harshly to lose weight all so people like that would accept me until I got to the point where their opinions and acceptance no longer matter. This was MY choice. I did it for ME and my children. I did it so I can see them grow up and have kids of their own. I don’t need anyone’s negativity ruining my mental health and progress. Brush it off and do you! Who cares what anyone else has to say about it.

this is my exact reason!!! only my SO and sister know. Everyone will have an opinion and I don't want to hear it! my SO didn't even really understand why either. He was baffled that I was even thinking of it. It took me breaking down to him for him to realize that it wasn't because I wanted to be hott and skinny- it was for our kids and my health. I told him hott and fat! hahah but yes I am doing me!