So here I am, 6 months in, lost 10% of my weight and going to my final preop appointment. On the edge of my seat because after all this time I finally get to meet and discuss with my surgeon. Hubby asks me on the way in “what happens if you still don’t see her”.? I tell him well then I’m done with this place. Guess what??? Still didn’t see her!!!!I weighed in, met with the NP, signed paperwork and went over some surgery stuff, met with dietician, got vitamin samples the whole thing. After 3 1/2 hours I still hadn’t see her and had to leave to be back for work. Now what?
What do I do?
Give up on this office? Start somewhere else? Or thrown in the bypass towel altogether and keep forging ahead??? Very upset and frustrated now.

My surgeons office doesn't see patients until the day of surgery unless they request a face to face appointment with them on the one or two days a month that they're in the office (the practice has four surgeons. Fridays there's one in office, but it never seems to be the same one week to week). It sounds like your surgeon's office is probably the same. You can either delay your surgery and make an appointment to meet the surgeon face to face or just keep your appointment for the surgery because you'll meet them before they put you under (or at least that was my experience) and you get to ask any questions or voice concerns beforehand then. But... if you don't like the answers they give you or their bedside manner, you can always leave. They can't force you to stay and have the surgery if you don't want to. However, if you're more comfortable delaying your surgery to meet the surgeon beforehand then do so and voice that to the front office staff. Stress that you're delaying your surgery because you want to speak with the surgeon face to face and then schedule your surgery after they can get you an appointment with her if that will make you more comfortable with things.

First have you been given a surgery date? Second is this the bariatric surgeon your PCP recommended to you? Third have you looked into your insurance plan to see if any other bariatric surgeons are covered within your plan? Finally I honestly wouldn’t commit to this bariatric surgeon especially when you have not met your surgeon as of yet. I hope you keep us posted of your decision. I wish you the best.

@NovaLuna- she is the only surgeon in her practice but I’m wondering if that’s not how her office is ran. You don’t see her but once prior to surgery.
@Lifestyle Changer she is an MD my PCP recommends but she didn’t say for sure go there. She kinda let me pick. There are several others in my area, or at least within 1-2 hour drive. I just really don’t know what to do. Should I wait and see? I’m so afraid I’d have to start all over and I really don’t want to do that. So disheartening. And as my husband said we are paying her, the least she could do is let me meet with her.

Have you gotten a date for your surgery yet. You didn’t mention that. The other issue did you do any research before going forward with this surgeon? I know this is hind sight but maybe before you make a final decision do a quick research and see what the reviews are like. It can’t hurt to check.

On 12/16/2021 at 15:38, Lifestyle Changer said:

Have you gotten a date for your surgery yet. You didn’t mention that. The other issue did you do any research before going forward with this surgeon? I know this is hind sight but maybe before you make a final decision do a quick research and see what the reviews are like. It can’t hurt to check.

I do have a date of 1/11/2022. I did research her and did talk to even a nurse who worked with her who had it. She comes recommended for skill. Just wondering if I should go elsewhere or no go anywhere at all ???

You shouldn’t have to start all over if you go to another doctor. They should be able to just use the records of any tests or consults you have done already but they may have different requirements and you will have to fulfill their requirements in addition to what you have already done.

i would let the office know if you do not feel comfortable meeting the surgeon the day of surgery and ask them to schedule an appointment to meet them. Hopefully that can happen before 1/11 but if not, waiting just a bit longer to have surgery will not be a big deal once you are on The other side of this looking back.

I know we all are just chomping at the bit wanting this life changing surgery like yesterday but in the whole scheme of things a week or two won’t make a big difference. I am 8 months out and post surgery the time has just flown by. I’m sure it will for you too.

Edited December 16, 20214 yr by ShoppGirl

I would not go through with the surgery with this doctor. If she is not available now, it is unlikely she will be available after surgery if you have questions or complications.

As @Lifestyle Changer said, find out if your insurance covers other doctors, and call them to find out if you have to start the whole process again. Most likely, you need to take your charts over.

In my case, I met with my Dr 3 times before surgery (including the 1-week pre-op appt). And then one week post-op, and every month since then, for the first 12 mo. My Dr. also gave me his cell to text him if I have any issues.

Different Drs will have different availability, schedules, plans. But you have to feel confident and have trust in your surgical team.

I've not met my surgeon "face-to-face in-person" yet. I have had 2 Zoom meetings with her. The first was the initial consultation in May then the second was in Nov after all my testing had been done and we discussed which surgery I was going to have and my lab/testing results. I will not meet with her in person until the day of surgery on Jan 18th. I will have one more Zoom meeting one week prior to surgery to discuss my pre anesthesia testing (PAT) results, the actual surgery, and any questions I might have. One week post op I will meet her again in person but after that it will be via Zoom with a PA and dietician. At first I thought this was weird and made me uneasy until I realized that the Zoom meetings were the same thing as being in person but we just weren't breathing the same air (and I didn't have to shower and drive an hour to see her...BONUS!).

Have you had virtual meetings with your surgeon?

19 minutes ago, Flab-U-Less Forever said:

I've not met my surgeon "face-to-face in-person" yet. I have had 2 Zoom meetings with her. The first was the initial consultation in May then the second was in Nov after all my testing had been done and we discussed which surgery I was going to have and my lab/testing results. I will not meet with her in person until the day of surgery on Jan 18th. I will have one more Zoom meeting one week prior to surgery to discuss my pre anesthesia testing (PAT) results, the actual surgery, and any questions I might have. One week post op I will meet her again in person but after that it will be via Zoom with a PA and dietician. At first I thought this was weird and made me uneasy until I realized that the Zoom meetings were the same thing as being in person but we just weren't breathing the same air (and I didn't have to shower and drive an hour to see her...BONUS!).

Have you had virtual meetings with your surgeon?

No I’ve not even had virtual meetings. I asked for that but they don’t do that with her.

I had three zoom meetings with my surgeon before the day, which was when I met him in person (though I don't remember him at all from that day!). I would be hesitant to not at least speak/zoom with the surgeon first, but that doesn't mean they're a bad doctor. Most surgeons have a terrible bedside manner, so maybe they're just trying to spare you that?

Also, think about how the rest of the office is to work with, because they're the people you'll be in most contact with. The office I went through (recommended by my PCP and a top research hospital in the country) is a major pain to deal with. THEY tell you when your visits are; you can't schedule your own appointments at a time that works for you! Also, they took forever to get back to me prior to surgery. Now, they're better if it's a medical concern.

I would ask to speak with her on the phone or in person, if either of those are an option. I almost went to another surgery center because the one I went to was so hard to deal with, but that was going to delay me a few more months... and I couldn't stand the idea of waiting another few months when I'd already waited 7 months!!!

Best of luck whatever decision you make! And keep us posted.

I had two brief meetings with my surgeon; one via Zoom and one in person because I insisted. Honestly, you're not going to develop a super long term and close relationship with your surgeon; they're the cutter. I think I would call the office and just say look, I want to meet this person more than ten minutes beforehand.

I might disagree with some of the comments here. You will maintain a relationship with your surgeon for awhile so it’s important to choose someone that will acknowledge you. I suppose with some programs the surgeon does their job then it’s off to the PA or dietitian but in others you should be having regular appointments afterwards and then yearly.

My gallbladder was removed recently. The surgeon did his job but his bedside was awful. However gallbladder removal isn’t life-changing and I’ve had no use for him since. Bariatric surgery is different. I’m surprised you haven’t had a meeting yet to at least discuss the best surgery for you.

I agree that surgeons are “just the cutters”. I don’t expect a warm fuzzy, friendly relationship but even after I specifically asked I still didn’t get to meet. My initial appt was with the NP and we decided on bypass, but even then she said you and the doctor make that final decision in a few months once you’ve gone through some of the testing and such. I just at least wanted a meeting to discuss that and other questions that the NP on my final visit told me I could ask the doctor that was more specific to the actual procedure. They did call the next day and say she will meet you in holding before you go back or if you really want to you’ll have to come back again for a face to face. I unenrolled from the program and am in the process of going somewhere else. May not be a big deal for some but after all this time it showed me a true lack of concern for the patient, I’m not the only one not getting to meet. And I at least have to minimally trust the doctor cutting me open and I can’t do that without some type of meeting. I would’ve accepted a zoom meeting even. Hoping to get started somewhere else but really bummed it came to this.

The only way a surgeon who I've never seen is going to operate on me is if it's an emergency. Follow your gut and find someone else.

My surgeon meets with all her patient's multiple times before surgery. A week before surgery I'll see her for an hour long appointment. I had her do my VSG and she's doing my revision due to GERD. She's still having me do the big hour long appointment.

On 12/23/2021 at 04:01, gabbykittyvsg said:

The only way a surgeon who I've never seen is going to operate on me is if it's an emergency. Follow your gut and find someone else.

My surgeon meets with all her patient's multiple times before surgery. A week before surgery I'll see her for an hour long appointment. I had her do my VSG and she's doing my revision due to GERD. She's still having me do the big hour long appointment.

Thank you for all the replies and I agree with this. I have another appointment schedule with new doctor in January. Office was so nice, doesn’t require referral, and said I see the actual doctor several times, especially the first time. I’m feeling a little better now and not like I’ve just cut my foot off