Hello - I’m new here and am thankful for the great info on this site. I’m considering WLS and am wondering if my BMI is not high enough (heaven knows I don’t want it to get higher).

I am 37, 5’2”, 190 pounds (BMI 34.7 so just below the 35 mark). I seem to put on about 5-10 pounds every few months. I have to take 4 medications to control my blood pressure, have pain in my feet, ankles and right knee. I think I actually waddle when I walk and that’s obscene. I just learned I also have high cholesterol and I snore really badly. I have been overweight and steadily gaining for about 10 years despite numerous diets, pills, subscriptions, memberships.

I am tired of feeling bad in my own skin, and am embarrassed that I now cannot comfortably cross my legs, tie my shoes comfortably, take the stairs without being winded, etc. My weight is also now affecting my career as I have been told that leaders “look a certain way” and “have a certain physical presence.” I think these are coded statements about my weight. I also cannot participate in one of my favorite activities (horseback riding) because I am embarrassed about my weight and worried about being too big for my horse.

I am motivated for a big change in my life, but also scared about post op meal planning and having to make my entire life revolve around food planning. I feel like for so long I have counted calories, carbs, macros, steps, activity with varied results, and all I want is to be free, healthy, and balanced in my body without thinking about food for every hour of every day.

I am willing to pay out of pocket, and have reached out for a consultation locally. I guess I just wanted to say hello to this community and hear your stories if you have been in a similar place.

15 minutes ago, It’sMe said:

My weight is also now affecting my career as I have been told that leaders “look a certain way” and “have a certain physical presence.” I think these are coded statements about my weight.

First of all, this is extremely messed up and inappropriate and I'm sorry that it's happening to you.

Not a doctor obviously but it seems like you do fit the parameters if you want to get it, having a BMI of essentially 35 and a co-morbidity of high blood pressure. And I wonder if the requirements are that stringent even if you self-pay.

It sounds like it's affecting your quality of life and you are allowed to gain control however you see fit! ❤️ Sending love to you.

If your BMI is JUST under the requirement of 35 and you are gaining 5-10lbs every few months, it seems like you could just wait a few months and you might be able to get insurance to cover it given your co-morbidities, depending on your insurance.

Having said that, it's likely that some/most surgeons would still do the surgery since you are willing to do self-pay.

I have heard that many industries/jobs are pretty fatphobic, and I'm so sorry you are facing that. I also know what you mean about being uncomfortable in my own skin, and tired going up the stairs, etc. I've always been fat, at least my whole adult life, so I don't have much to compare it to, but it's still horrible to feel it every day.

Whether you keep gaining weight or do the surgery, you'll be facing food prep, and it's easier to deal with food prep (I hope!) with a smaller appetite. I understand from the people on this board that the first few months after surgery are pretty tough, but then it's really a much better life (for most people - some people have a hard time for a long time and regret the surgery, but most people say their only regret is not doing it sooner).

I was close to 35 like you and worried I wouldn’t make it and it turned out I was shorter than I thought so I was over 35. I guess we all shrink with age but I also think at a heavier weight I don’t stand up quite as straight as I do when I am thinner. I am anxious to see if my height changes again as I lose weight. Have you had your height measured recently. I hadn’t in years. my family dr’s office never checked it and the gynocologist’s nurse is much shorter than me so I always thought her measurement was just inaccurate.

If you just need a bit of weight to get over the hump, rolls of quarters weigh a lot. Just saying...

many of us end up food planning for life. But it sounds like you've had a lot of experience doing that. I know some people who do the intuitive eating thing, and my dietitian is always pushing me to do that, but I'm afraid I'd intuitively eat my way up to 300 lbs again. Planning meals, counting calories, etc, has worked for me....so I'll continue to do it.

You may not have to - but just know that a lot of us do it.

7 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

many of us end up food planning for life. But it sounds like you've had a lot of experience doing that. I know some people who do the intuitive eating thing, and my dietitian is always pushing me to do that, but I'm afraid I'd intuitively eat my way up to 300 lbs again. Planning meals, counting calories, etc, has worked for me....so I'll continue to do it.

You may not have to - but just know that a lot of us do it.

How often do you see your dietitian? What sorts of things are still concerns now that you're 6 years out from surgery?

Sorry to hijack the thread!

1 hour ago, lizonaplane said:

How often do you see your dietitian? What sorts of things are still concerns now that you're 6 years out from surgery?

Sorry to hijack the thread!

at this point, I just see her once a year when I go in to see my surgeon for my annual follow-up. She keeps insisting I try intuitive eating because she thinks I'm too obsessed with calories and numbers on the scale, and she's probably right about that, but on the other hand, I've been really successful with this surgery, and a big part of that has been monitoring myself closely. I've read the intuitive eating book that I promised her I'd read, and I do try to stop and ask myself if I'm truly hungry when I'm in the mood to eat something - but I haven't given up my calorie counting (I also cut back on weighing myself - I do it once a week now instead of every day).

other than that, I don't really have any concerns other than maintenance is a daily struggle. But I keep working at it, because I don't want to go back from where I came from. And it's easier to deal with a five or ten lb gain than it is a 50 lb gain. By monitoring myself closely, I'll catch those slight gains before they become a problem.

If you're not having to worry about insurance paying, I think you'll have an easier time since your BMI is right at 35, you have high BP, and you're still gaining. I paid out of pocket myself, although my BMI was 70, but I didn't have to jump through any hoops really.
I'm sorry you're being treated so badly about your weight at work. That makes me so mad. It shouldn't matter what someone looks like. Society is so superficial. And beauty, imo, isn't a certain size anyway!!

Many self pays in the US go to Blossom Bariatrics in Vegas. No hoops to jump through, check out their site.