I am new here kinda just stumbled on this site. I am on my Pre-op diet it has not been bad only one day with a headache. It feels good to read positive and uplifting words of encouragement. My surgery date is July 16, i am excited but nervous because nobody can be there with me because of this pandemic. I have been very quit about this nobody knows but my 3 kids. I was wondering was any of you secretive about having surgery? i chose to keep it secret because sometimes i feel people speak before they think, like saying this is the easy way out, when that is the furthest from the truth.

Edited July 9, 20206 yr by Nikki50

My surgery is July 16, too! I haven't told anyone, other than my doctors. I have just heard too many ignorant comments about other people who have had WLS. It feels like we can't win because people are nasty toward obese people, but when we want to get the only effective treatment for it, they're rude about that as well. Some people just think they are morally superior for being naturally thin.

I looked into WLS about 15 years ago. I went to an information seminar and even had a consultation with a surgeon. I was still on my parents' insurance at the time, so I had to tell them. My mom talked me out of it because she was scared I would die on the table or have horrible complications. It's probably for the best that I didn't do it then because it has become a lot safer in the meantime, but I can't help but wonder what I have missed out on in life that I could have done if I had gotten WLS back then. This time, I am not giving anyone the opportunity to talk me out of it.

I told everyone in my family and everyone I'm close to at work. I don't mind sharing with others.

I'm 50 and have only discussed it with my mother, husband, and 3 children. My children are 13, 15, & 17 and have seen me up and down in my weight struggles but mostly up. I don't have a surgery date set, I'm still working on the required nutritionist visits for insurance. They have all been supportive. I do not plan to share it with anyone beyond that. I have asked my kids not to share with friends. I am generally open but I don't feel this is anyone's business. I am not ashamed, I just don't think I have to justify, explain, or educate. I am a teacher and undoubtedly school will be in session before I get approved. I plan to tell my Principal I am having a procedure and need time off but she knows I have thyroid issues so I'll leave it at that. Truly I find that my support comes from those who are facing the same weight struggle and are more understanding. My workplace is not like that.

15 hours ago, Suzi_the_Q said:

If you DO run into your SIL, remind her of her HIPAA responsibilities, that she can't disclose medical information without your permission. It's your business, no one else's.

Thanks! I was thinking that there had to be something about confidentiality in place.

Hi everyone I'm also new to the site as well. I have found by telling people about the surgery to be encouraging not only for support but also for accountability. Because I know that having these individuals on this weight loss journey with me will benefit me tremendously.

I’ve just started telling a few friends and they’ve been very supportive. I haven’t told my family yet - I’m not sure that will go over well. I’ll probably hold off saying anything until it gets closer to the surgery date (07/23) because I hate to let the cat out of the bag then it gets canceled.

Only my husband and best friend (who cared for my kiddo when I was in the hospital know. My dad and sister think I'm doing a "physician directed diet." (not untrue)

I had endoscopic gastric sleeve on June 19th. I only told my children (grown) so they wouldn't worry thinking I had cancer or something serious and of couse, my husband. I have no intentions of telling anyone else. If asked how I lost the weight, I'm going to be honest and say "by working hard".

I'm so glad to see others have also not share with many. I thought I was the only one. My surgery date was June 30 so 13 days post-op. I only told very few - husband, brother, sister and 4 good friends. I just felt that this was a very personal decision but also did not want to deal with any gossip from others.

We live in our 'fat shell' for so long that it eventually becomes a part of us thus making it hard to shed mentally. So much fear of failure and self-loathing to shed. So this journey for me is not just about pounds, but is also a re-discovery. And thus it is a journey I want to take with those closest to me that will be there to love and support me along the way.

I have had no complications or issues. I was a good water drinker before and that has not changed. I'm getting about 100 oz day. No nausea. Minimal pain. Up and active. Driving. Doing some work. Able to eat soft proteins - egg, canned chicken & tune, cottage cheese. Almost worried that things have gone too well so something must be wrong. First post-op appt on Wednesday so will feel more reassured after that.

Hi! I'm new as well to the forums. I don't have a date just yet but just finished up the program to prepare me for surgery.

I've been a bit of a lurker just to see what advice others are giving, and I was glad to see you post this as I've been debating myself.

In general I'm a pretty private person. Only my husband knows and one other friend that deals with weight issues. Some of my best friends have always been skinny and I think I just feel like I'm going to be judged by them. I'm sure the reality is they would be super supportive and want me to make the right choice for me - but my heads just not there yet.

I believe that not everyone needs to know about this kind of private thing. its not about shame but privacy. what we are going through is very intense both physically and emotionally/mentally. i've decided only to two trusted nonjudgemental friends and my immediate family. i don't need the extra commentary or stress. people can get very strange when the "fat" friend is no longer so. it happens all the time, not to mention people in our society feel so entitled to comment on other people's bodies, we owe them nothing. its not their business. we need to focus on ourselves. that is my take and i had gone back and forth for a while. its sad, in a way, but that why sites like this, communities of people in the same boat, are so important! we have each other! my surgery is next monday and im nervous but mostly happy to get this done so i can be healthier and get back to doing things i love!

Hi there! I am new on this journey also, I just had my surgery on Wednesday. I’ve told everyone I know about this surgery and I did so before I had it, yes a lot of people think this is the e-z way out and I’m sorry but they just show there ignorance. This in no way has been e-z, unfortunately my other half has been eating pizza and ice cream and pie in front of me over the last several days, but I’m holding strong and enjoying my sugar free popsicles which is actually pretty good! Hey fat free cream of chicken soup is really good too lol! Hey this journey is for us let them people say what they wanna say and do what they wanna do! I’m sending good vibes your way!

My surgery is also July 16th!! I am keeping mine a secret from friends and relatives. The only people that know are my parents and brother! Everyone is different but I want to share my journey in the future when I start to see a difference :)

I told everybody and I did not care what they said or thought. In fact, I already had a response for everything they would throw at me because I saw a lot of videos and read about 4 biographies of what certain people go through before, during and after the surgery. I didn't want to start my new journey still with any more fears or having to hide anything anymore. I already hid behind the sadness of being so overweight. I didn't go out much or attend many functions because I just kept hiding. I didn't want to lie to anyone anymore and much less myself. I wanted to be free of all of that. If anyone tried to encourage me to not do it and try another diet, I said I already had done so. Or they would say "Oh I hear its dangerous wow that's drastic". I explained what was more dangerous is that this year my blood pressure was high for the first time and I am pre-diabetic too. What they truly got was when I said it is better to do the surgery vs trying to lose it one more time and in the process I have heart attack or become diabetic. Then everyone would say " yeah that is true, good point." There was one other heavy lady that works with me that has been struggling like me for years and she is still trying and good for her but she sure as heck didn't like that I was doing the surgery. I understand she is willing to struggle still and she has no medical issues but I did. I think also she felt I was cheating vs she is really at it. Some people also may envy that and/or envy that you are bolder to do this surgery and they are not. The thing is to not let anyone discourage you to ever have to live other peoples expectations or hiding. Freedom and being authentic is great!

I am still in the beginning stages of the process so i have only told my husband, sister, best friend and asked advice of 2 friends who have done this already, one of whom wants to be my “sponsor.” ? My husband is very supportive, my sister does NOT want me to do this, but she is borderline anorexic so she has her own struggles. My best friend is trying to be supportive but doesn’t really know what to say. She doesn’t want me to do it but understands why I want to and is trying.
I am bursting to tell other people bc I am so excited at the prospect but I’m not going to tell anyone else until I have a date. Then I will inform the director of my massage program (in a student) and my work.
Both of my parents died so I don’t need to deal with that. My dad was a diabetic and died of pneumonia, my mom was morbidly obese and died from a heart attack. I see myself going down those same paths so I am determined to do this.
My main problem with telling people is that I have been a huge advocate for fat acceptance and body positivity. I feel like I will be judged as a hypocrite. ? But I am doing this for my health. It’s not the right choice for everyone and I will always advocate for fat acceptance, but I feel there will still be judgements made. You can’t please everyone.