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Did anyone succeed in friends and neighbors not finding out..



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Hello, I’m getting sleeve surgery in 17 days and have only told my husband and parents. I love in a very small town where neighbors and friends will get nosey when they see my fast weight drop but I’m not planning on telling anyone as it’s my own decision. My parents and husband think everyone will assume it anyway because of the large weight drop in short amount of time but I’m really hoping that doesn’t happen. Has anyone gotten away without telling? I’ve mentioned to a few friends I’m working at losing weight...so at least they know I’m trying but not saying anything else. Would love to hear anyone else’s experience ...and if this can really be done w out the nosey noses calling bluff.

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Only those who i eanted to tell know being that ppl see me out at planet fitness or coming/headed there they know im working put they assume that's how im losing weight which is the true because after surgery u will need to exercise everyday walk walk walk drink your Water and Protein walk walk walk.....the walking helps you heal helps with abdominal cramps and losing the weight...the surgery is a tool to help you but without your effort with exercising the weight is not going to drop as it should

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I told my husband and parents. That’s it. People know that I work out a lot and see a nutritionist

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I told very few people. I am sure a few wondered, but they have seen me at various weights in the past so it may not have appeared on their radar that I had surgery. A couple I did tell had reactions I wasn't expecting, but hey they aren't speaking to me now, and I don't care anymore.

One thing - if you have fat friends their reaction might be really negative, judgemental, rude, jealousy etc. Take care about who you confide in.

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I told no one except my husband and kids. Not even my parents know. Yes, people have asked about my weight loss, "How did you do it?" My standard reply is "This is what I am doing............." By the time I get to no sugar and no alcohol, they usually walk away. My other standard answer, "Most people who lose weight regain it. If I am still thin in a year, you can ask again and we can discuss it."

Because I tell them what I AM DOING, not what I DID, I do not believe I have lied to anyone. Interestingly, the only overweight people who have asked are ones who could stand to lose 20 - 40 pounds, and who would not qualify for surgery anyway. What I tell them about dietary, exercise, and lifestyle changes is spot on, and exactly what I AM doing and what they could be doing. A morbidly obese person has NEVER asked me about my weight loss. I have relatives who have lost a LOT of weight and then gained it all back. I saw them at Christmas, and they never even mentioned or asked about my own weight loss. I think it might have been a little threatening to them, and they might even be waiting to see if I gain it all back by next Christmas.

I still don't intend to mention surgery to anyone. It's my personal business, and I have watched reactions about other people who have had surgery. It's the "easy way out," or "all someone has to do is eat less and move more," or "why would anyone want to mess up their internal plumbing." I am just not secure enough to wonder about what people would be saying behind my back or always putting an "asterick" by my name in their minds: "Sure, she looks good, but she had surgery...."

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I also only told my spouse, parents, and a few close friends. I’ve heard through the grapevine that some of my coworkers have speculated that I got a lap band (I was actually sleeved), but no one has flat out asked me to my face. Other neighbors/friends have commented on my weight loss, but haven’t questioned it. They do know I am seeing a personal trainer, so they see I am working out hard and watching what I eat. I think at this point I would be comfortable discussing it with a coworker/neighbor/friend if they brought it up to me. What I didn’t want was to hear all the opinions and judgement before hand. It’s a very personal decision and nobody’s business but your own.

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9 hours ago, 303nursemom said:

I also only told my spouse, parents, and a few close friends. I’ve heard through the grapevine that some of my coworkers have speculated that I got a lap band (I was actually sleeved), but no one has flat out asked me to my face. Other neighbors/friends have commented on my weight loss, but haven’t questioned it. They do know I am seeing a personal trainer, so they see I am working out hard and watching what I eat. I think at this point I would be comfortable discussing it with a coworker/neighbor/friend if they brought it up to me. What I didn’t want was to hear all the opinions and judgement before hand. It’s a very personal decision and nobody’s business but your own.

I also had people ask behind my back (to family members) if I was sick - like cancer. That's a very concerned type of question, and doesn't bother me. Another answer that can be given to questioners is "I am under a medically supervised weight loss program." If pressed for more details, diet and exercise info can be given, which usually turns people away, because they really don't want to do that.

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When I went back to work, Protein Shake in hand, I told people I was on a medically supervised diet. Not a lie, either. Now that they've seen my counting calories for 16 months, I think they bought it.

I'm becoming much less concerned about people finding out. I may even volunteer to talk to people thinking about it through my surgeon's office as they have asked me to consider.

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I told no one. I “just had hernia surgery” was my excuse to neighbors . My coworkers just think I am on meth. I have been drug tested twice since September

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On 1/19/2020 at 7:06 PM, AZhiker said:

I told no one except my husband and kids. Not even my parents know. Yes, people have asked about my weight loss, "How did you do it?" My standard reply is "This is what I am doing............." By the time I get to no sugar and no alcohol, they usually walk away. My other standard answer, "Most people who lose weight regain it. If I am still thin in a year, you can ask again and we can discuss it."

Because I tell them what I AM DOING, not what I DID, I do not believe I have lied to anyone. Interestingly, the only overweight people who have asked are ones who could stand to lose 20 - 40 pounds, and who would not qualify for surgery anyway. What I tell them about dietary, exercise, and lifestyle changes is spot on, and exactly what I AM doing and what they could be doing. A morbidly obese person has NEVER asked me about my weight loss. I have relatives who have lost a LOT of weight and then gained it all back. I saw them at Christmas, and they never even mentioned or asked about my own weight loss. I think it might have been a little threatening to them, and they might even be waiting to see if I gain it all back by next Christmas.

I still don't intend to mention surgery to anyone. It's my personal business, and I have watched reactions about other people who have had surgery. It's the "easy way out," or "all someone has to do is eat less and move more," or "why would anyone want to mess up their internal plumbing." I am just not secure enough to wonder about what people would be saying behind my back or always putting an "asterick" by my name in their minds: "Sure, she looks good, but she had surgery...."

It is such a personal experience and very personal business. I have been living a very healthy life and eating less, drinking my Protein Shakes and etc. In my office we have maybe 6 wls employees, 2 in my immediate work area that tells everyone all of their business and displays all of their equally bad dietary habits. All of that to say, my coworkers have even more to say because they interact with those 2 and have first hand knowledge of what the process looks like. As much as those 2 get on my nerves, it annoys me to hear people say, "they took the easy way out!" or "you're not losing weight the lazy way like them!!!" I always have to stop those people from spreading false information and for not understanding that isn't easy. To add insult to injury, it's generally another obese person speaking ill of another obese person. Enough of my rant, that just takes me there with anyone. If it were easy, we wouldn't be plagued with an alarming rate of obesity.

Getting back to my point, I've observed my Assistant monitoring my trash and asking me if I've been eating, (wth), staff yelling out she can't eat like us (because I decline), oh you think your cute in your clothes, why are you dressing up everyday, you can't possibly wear that size with all of that rump back there (and took her hand and tapped me on my butt), your getting thin ( I'm not even sleeved yet) being out sick for a few days is good for you--because you've slimmed down and the last one...your slimming down, you can at least say thank you (I didn't ask for a compliment, but thanks) ....This is all just coming from my immediate work area and a small group of women. I will not share my wls with these gossipy mean hens. They are going to speculate and talk crap about me either way, so have it. I have so many other things to contend with in life. I love myself, I'm at peace with my decision and I don't have space in my realm for BS. This is just the people who I work with, I haven't even shared the beliefs from some of my friends, family and guy friends and their negative views regarding wls.

I have one life, one chance and I choose me.💜

How does everyone deal with the chaos or the reactions when people first see you who don't know you've had wls?

Edited by Krimsonbutterflies

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3 hours ago, Michael S said:

My coworkers just think I am on meth.

😆😆😆

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On 1/20/2020 at 1:03 AM, newchange16 said:

...and if this can really be done w out the nosey noses calling bluff.

Well, if your neighbors are a bit stupid... it might work, lol.

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I’ve had a few ask me but I just tell them I did keto/low carb, which is basically the truth. I didn’t tell anyone but family.

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